Activity-Moka

I am not dead yet! keyword: yet.

I am soo tired right now.
I was able to sucessfully finish a show during the summer. Yay! (But it was a summer intensive and I had to cancel/turn down many plans.)  And the short film I was in like aroud winter time premiered! Yay! And now I'm in another show! Yay!!
However I am so tired. I am still doing college stuffs. Among some other things which have been stressing me out from summer until now. I feel quite overwhelemd by everything and feel nothing can ever get done or that I will ever get a break.

...I haven't rped (or hung out with friends) in months...

And I haven't adjusted to my schedule fully yet.
I am so tired...

My sincere apologizes to Yuna Marcet and Hana Suzuki for suddenly leaving without saying a word while this thread was going on:
https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t14999-the-search-casual-open

We haven't met, but nice to see ya. I read up a bit, and I also like to act :P

dun know who you are but I'd like to say welcome back.

Sorry for being away without any warning everyone.

There was days when I legit spent 18 hours outside just going to school and play practices/performances/rehearsals.
There was even one day I didn't come home until 5am.
And I had to do homework and stuffs the moment I came home. Then the weekends would come and I just had to sleep.

Thanks to Crimzon for calculating how many hours 7am to 1am for me. ^.^ Because I fail at math.

I didn't have time for friends, dating, boyfriends, RPing, going out to festivals, shopping or anything.

I am still kind of tired and I guess you could say a bit in shock over what I had just gone through these past months.

There was also the additions of babies being born, people dying, an alum from my high school releasing her album, losing a friend who viewed me as the "villian" in her life and it all started because I said "We need to leave" right after the annoucer said "You guys need to leave" at an event, my friend almost getting severely injured from a set piece falling on her along with her mother going to the hospital AGAIN after she just had surgery then got in a car accident (seriously it was like 2 days ago your mom's in the hospital, today you almost were in the hospital) then my other friend's mother ending up in the hospital and finally my mother ending up in the hospital.

Well then o.o

I hope everything gets better for you, have a good time. Feel free to have fun rp'ing, if you nee anything just ask. You seem like a cool person. Shit happens and life is rough, but you are tough. I understand how things are, we're here for ya if ya need to talk. Until then, it's nice to see you.

I'll be gone until the week after next week.

And I just came back too....

Yep, activity issues from Moka again.

This year has been really hard for me.
And at the end, even though I truly want to believe I can make it through everything.
I really can't. It's getting harder and harder and HARDER for me to push myself.

I am so tired plus my sleeping schedule is super off.
I am absolutely exhausted. (I haven't danced in such a long time, too tired to.)
Additonally, being sick right now is not helping.

So, I am going to try to go on a break a bit.
For here and many other sites I'm on.
Pretty much reduce any and all extracurricular/leisure activities.

It'll also give me time to mourn for recent deaths that I didn't really have time to mourn for. Which I also feel is dragging me down.

This is sounding like a super downer and all, I know. Sorry. It's just a lot.
But at least I won't need to worry a lot about this site when I'm on this break.

@Moka wrote:Yep, activity issues from Moka again.

This year has been really hard for me.
And at the end, even though I truly want to believe I can make it through everything.
I really can't. It's getting harder and harder and HARDER for me to push myself.

I am so tired plus my sleeping schedule is super off.
I am absolutely exhausted. (I haven't danced in such a long time, too tired to.)
Additonally, being sick right now is not helping.

So, I am going to try to go on a break a bit.
For here and many other sites I'm on.
Pretty much reduce any and all extracurricular/leisure activities.

It'll also give me time to mourn for recent deaths that I didn't really have time to mourn for. Which I also feel is dragging me down.

This is sounding like a super downer and all, I know. Sorry. It's just a lot.
But at least I won't need to worry a lot about this site when I'm on this break.

So....something came up so it looks like I'll be away longer than I thought.
I decided to be online just for today since Imma be spending my time with my hands full again. XD
I don't know when I'll be back.

Hope to see ya soon. Take care Moka.

Well things seem to have calmed down for now.
But I'll be going back into school and acting soon.
So I can't say I'm back now.

...And I don't want to quit the site either.
At this point I'm kind of frusterated and tired. (maybe a bit depressed?)
Plus I can't even think of anything to write and I kind of don't want to be around people when I'm like this. I don't want to spread my bad vibes.

Right now I kinda just feel like stating I'll be here on breaks when I can because that seems to be the only time I actually have free time. Yet I'm reluctant to say so considering what has just happened this break.

I just wanted to give an update.

Good luck Moka, I hope things brighten up soon for ya =3 S'not easy when one's in a negative mood and can't really say I've got great advice for how to get out of it either, but I can still hope it buggers off! Good luck in school and with your acting as well ^-^

Hello everyone!

So I decided to ease back into the forum.
I feel like I've been kind of setting myself up for failure when I kept trying to just jump in and expect myself to get right back to being 100% active.

However, I am quite worried.
The rules have been changed and one in particular troubles me.

I KNOW I come off as passive aggressive many times. Or angry or upset and I'm not. I just word things oddly.
I would like to make it very clear and would like everyone to understand that most if not all of the time I stay at a fairly consistent happy-mellowish mood.
I know it sounds weird and I've been told in real life that it's a unique trait that I have. Even when I do get angry, upset or any negative emotion it's difficult for me to hold onto it...like I can't be that way for more than approximately 5 minutes.
I've attempted to take the advice of others and use more emotes. But not even those seem to save me. ^-^'
(I would be rich at this point in my life if I got money for every time someone said something among the lines of: "If someone else said the words that are coming out of your mouth, it'll sound different.")

I'm not going to deny either that my communicating skills needs much work.
Additionally, I have a habit of constantly trying to make sure people understand my points and try to block out any possibilites of people misunderstanding what I'm stating. Which definitely does result in my statements coming out all repetitive like. However, I do try quite hard to make sure that I am understood and what I say is clear but there are times when I do just give up.
WHEN I do give up I usually tell people that: "I can't make it anymore clear. Nevermind, let's just move on."


Sorry, given certain recent events I definitely feel like making a great effort to make sure people understand me and what I'm saying from the getgo.
Please do not expect anything from me. Even when you know me, do not expect anything from me. Too many times expectations have been made and when I don't reach them...D:

Okay! That's it! ^-^

I hope things go well, if you need anything just ask.

Hey, Moka. Welcome back to the site, and I hope you're able to ease yourself back in easily. If not, I'm always up for helping you settling back in. ^.^

Last visited here May 15, 2016
I was not passing my math class.
Then I had a convention to go too.

My activity on this site is hanging by a very very very thin thread.
I keep trying to remain active and things keep popping up. D:
I dun feel well at all right now, stupid pizza place. I TRUSTED YOUUUSS

Take care, good luck with your schooling! Cons are great, I went to one recently.

Yeah there were a bunch of cons this past weekend, though feel Memorial Day weekend's a good one for them XD

Hope you feel better soon, a coworker's son suffered from pizza yesterday so seems like it wasn't a good day for pizza DX

I just wanted to say I'm not dead!
And I didn't make any "I'm leaving" topic.
I just faded into oblivion again.....which is a pattern for me I know.
I don't know what to say. XD I wish it'll stop and that I'll stop having obstacles coming my way.
I know my suddenly fading into oblivion without saying a word at this point has at least annoyed one person.
Can't say anything else at this point. XD There's only so much that I can type currently.

So, I didn't have a doctor for awhile and no physical theraphist. So when my pain got worse and spread to other parts of my body there really wasn't much I can do to make things better and really not much activity I can do due to that. Oh and yea, my body's been in pain since like February but I was trying to just move on and not focus on it.

Specifically the pain in my hands makes it a bit difficult to type.
And the pain caused me to drop my classes since I was unable to really do all the paper homework they wanted me to do. (I somehow became immune to the painkillers they gave me)

Fortunately, later this week I'll be able to see a doctor at least. I dunno about physical theraphy.
2016 really beating my booty this year.

Soooo I am hoping for a more active 2017 year.

Hope things get better for you, Moka. We'll be here when you are ready to come back.

At this point all I can say is:
At least I didn't quit this site.

I am not dead yet.
I'm just struggling over here.

One issue gets fixed another gets put on my plate.
Its like a constant wave of obstacles I don't understand why all this negative stuff is happening all at once. I get like no breaks from it.

The rainbow after this rain better be very beautiful and bright.

Heyy everyone.
So this time my grandmother got cancer again and this time it brought a buddy.
2 cancers at once.
She's staying with us now, it was suppose to be for 2 weeks but its been months.

It's a bit...difficult for me to sit down and write down anything or really do anything.

You relax and worry about family. That's all that matters right now, so go enjoy the most of it. We'll be here when you find yourself able to come back, but until then I know you'll be thought of and we'll be hoping for the best! <3