
You're a weapon ; and weapons don't weep

Ah, so he
was too harsh. Ahote had known that his inability to mince his words often made it difficult to sift through his irritation or negativity. For a moment, he regretted letting himself get a little upset with Icarus's sudden vulnerability. He didn't say anything when Icarus said those things, eyes fixed to the ceiling as he let himself wonder.
Icarus sat down, droning as the elephant in the room was brought up. For once, Ahote was a little apprehensive about the conversation that was about to happen. It wasn't the same anxiety and bashfulness that came with the moments before sex, or the teasing he'd often endure, but something different. He remembered a time where he wasn't so cynical of other people, where he didn't downplay every positive thing that happened to him. Where he wore his heart on his sleeve, and when he stopped doing that, loved his friends and family unconditionally. He was so much softer than he was now, and not nearly as matter-of-fact. But it was like after one person abandoned him, the rest followed suit, leaving him alone. There were some that stuck around even after all of that mess, like Iris and Aeluri. But he couldn't handle it unless he toughened up himself, because life just... happens, and it doesn't wait for anyone to adjust.
Although Ahote had made the decision to move on from the burden of his past, like scars, some trauma stuck with you for life. He didn't want to latch on to anything that he had no guarantee would stay, people, and places alike. It was just a survival mechanism that had been created to cope with his sensitivity to abandonment. It was probably such a typical trauma at face-value, but it was what kept him from taking initiative in so many different ventures—including whatever this was with Icarus.
Quietly, Ahote took a seat on the bed next to Icarus, his hands clasped together on his lap as he looked at his feet. He wasn't quite sure where to start when it came to talking about it, but he wanted to give it an honest effort.
"I don't regret kissing you when we were out a few days ago," he began,
"It probably wasn't a big deal, and I was also... incredibly horny that day, so there's that. I thought about it, and outside of the sex, I've wanted to talk to you and touch you more. Just... be around you, and all. I don't know what the rules are, or where you want to draw the lines, but I don't think I'd say this if I was satisfied with just having sex—and—uh..." Ahote folded his legs over one another and looked away, his ears, as usual, tinged with a hint of a pink glow as he realized the nature of what he was about to suggest.
"I'm just saying that if want to try different things, I wouldn't say no."Although the delivery became increasingly more awkward as he continued, he wasn't lying. These past few days, he
missed Icarus. He had a good time at ICEA, even if most of that time was spent trying not to lose himself in his desire. Hell, some part of him was looking forward to putting all this stuff together, even if Icarus literally looked like he just got down stepping out of a gladiator's ring. Maybe he squashed the curiosity of his scars too early, and maybe he was wrong for assuming that this was all they'd be. He recognized all of this and knew that these weren't feeling that a fuck buddy would probably have. He didn't even know if he was allowed to have them, as innocent as they were, to both himself and to Icarus. Was this where they drew the line? If it was, Ahote was emotionally braced for it. If it wasn't... then what?
||
Word Count: 650 ||
Thread WC: 20,484 ||
WC Needed ??? ||
Job Approval ||
Enemies: ???
@Icarus—