by Saraphina 18th January 2020, 7:26 pm
Hey Brynn! Sorry for the delay. I'm Saraphina and I'll be your grader today. My edits will be in
this color so keep a look out for it please. If you have any questions, you can dm me or ask in the thread. Once the edits are done, please bump the thread.
- Spoiler:
Brynn wrote:Knights of the Round Table
Magic Type: Summoning Solitary [Please include the Magic Type Benefit as well ^^]Description: The knights of the round table. The round table has been alive and vibrant since the days of Camelot. Of course, the tale is, is that it had stopped growing, but in reality it never did. In the celestial world, the round table is used to show strength between soldiers of each each realm. Every single one of them has a bond as strong as steel. They all know each other, and are friendly with each other(some more than others). They are warriors who stood the test of time and war. They have defied all odds, and have found their rightful place in a seat at the table. Most importantly though, they all fight together under the rule of Brynn.
When Brynn was born, she was given these celestial spirits. They have been with her through thick and thin, and see her as the head of the round table. They see her as their leader, someone who has the work ethic of a million armies. Her fighting spirit is what they are drawn into, and it's what empowers the spirits. Unique Abilities: Heart of a Soldier Whenever someone is crowned as the head of the round table, they must possess three different traits. The first one, is the heart of a soldier. The user of this magic must have the good heart that any solider must have. She has to want what's best for everybody, but most importantly herself. She must have modesty, and must want improvement. This pure heart is what empowers the magic. All summons cost 25% more mp to summon, but they have a 100% increase to their physical strength. [The highest this buff can go is 56% with the downside. Please lower accordingly.]
Brynn wrote:Signature Spells and Passives- Yuki:
Rank: CType: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 12 hpSummon Melee Health: 100 hpRange: 30 MetersSpeed: 30 Mps Duration: 5 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Yuki, also known as the heart of the round table. She is a magical baby fox that materialized one day in the middle of the world. With a crater formed from under her, the world looked at her as a beast who would one day destroy the Celestial realms. However, that wasn't true at all. It didn't take any rocket scientist to figure out that the intentions of Yuki were pure and true. Even after the Knights were sent to deal with her, they found her to be extremely cute and adorable. So, they took her in as their own and taught her the ways of the round table. The laws that brought them all together, and each of their stories. With that, Yuki became the Knights' mascot. She blessed the lands with her cuteness and drove the people of the realms to hold on to the values of goodness and purity.
Brynn forms a celestial key in her hand, as she raises it up, shouting out, "The heart that fills the round table! Open gate of the Sparkling Fox, Yuki!" When Yuki is formed, she takes on the form of a white baby fox, that has a pink star on its head. Just by looking at her, one can feel the effects of her cuteness fill their hearts. When she talks, she talks as though she were still a baby, even if she is many centuries old. She is playful and energetic, and all around a creature formed from the beauty of the stars.- Abilities:
- The Overflowing Heart:
It is said that Yuki's cuteness can fill the hearts of anyone that looks at it. This is true, but only partially. Whenever Yuki and her allies enter combat, the fox's star glows a bright pink light that envelops all allies within max burst range in that light. This light is what actually fills their heart. It makes it full of magical power, giving them all a 25% health boost.
Brynn wrote:Advanced Spells- Diane:
Rank: C+Type: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 18 hpSummon Melee Health: 150 hpRange: 45 MetersSpeed: 45 Mps Duration: 6 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Diana, the dancer of the depths. A warrior who uses her magic in ways that nobody has ever thought of before. She combines the powers of dance with the magic that comes from the waters of the world. She is the head of the round table, right under Brynn. Her powers are clear and true, which is what gave her the spot. Not to mention her reputation in the Celestial world. She has defeated armies of soldiers, terrible beasts, and the most powerful of spirits, all with the sway of her hips. The personification of her magic through dance has made her one of the most feared foes of anyone in the Celestial world. Not much about her is known besides that, but they don't need to. Only those she holds most dear can know of her secrets, and Brynn has not reached that point yet.
Brynn, forms a key out of thin air. With this key, she shouts aloud, "The warrior that submerges foes with a single sway of their hips! Open gate of the dancer of the depths, Diane!" Whenever Diane is summoned, she is shown wearing a very light outfit that shows a lot of skin. This is so she can move as freely and as much as she wants without being weighed down. There are many different ribbons surrounding her ankles and wrists. If you look closely, you can see that these ribbons are made of water. Water she uses to battle her foes. Although she is vibrant and joyful while fighting in battle, her standard emotion is more of one that is secluded and serious. She doesn't like the company of others because she's learned not to trust them. That is why she will not to talk most other people when summoned. She follows commands and orders, but will not answer a question asked by someone she doesn't trust.- Abilities:
- River Lotus Dance:
Rank: C+
Category: Offensive
Type: Burst
Damage: 38 hp per post [Please lower this to 37 HP per post, 38 is too much. When dealing with decimals, you round down.]
Range: 45 meters
Speed: 45 mps
Duration: 6 posts
Downside: N/A
Description: Diane dances her most beautiful dance as the ribbons around her ankles and wrists begin to blow a beautiful bright blue. As she dances, these ribbons send out lashes of water to anyone within range of her. If one is looking at the view from above, they will realize that the lashes of water are not just randomly assigned. Instead, they form the shape of a beautiful lotus with many different layers. Even as the lashes of water being sent out, they are still in constant motion with Diane, moving as she does. This damages all enemies within range of the spell each post, as the streams of water weave in and out of the enemies [This slightly sounds like an autohit, to be on the safe side, cane you reword this a little so opponents have a way to dodge please?]. While doing this dance, she gains an 85% buff to her speed
- Freshwater Ribbons:
The ribbons that form around Diane's ankles and wrists don't only have the properties of dealing damage, but also that of healing. While the freshwater she uses was enchanted to deal massive damage, they still have the properties of healing within them. So, whenever Diane casts River Lotus dance, she can also heal allies for half the damage dealt to enemies. Not only this, but the magical properties of the freshwater give Diane a buff to her spell damage(40%) and spell healing(40%). [This would need to be in a spell template and reworked to an active and follow active rules please.]
- Lucinda:
Rank: C+Type: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 18 hpSummon Melee Health: 150 hpRange: 45 MetersSpeed: 45 Mps Duration: 6 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Lucinda, the Bloody Chain. She is known across the Celestial world by this name. She is strong in each and every way. Her chains have been known to be an extremely powerful tool that she can control with her mind. Every foe who has tried to fight her has died. Her chains have the same amount of durability as they do their strength, which is why she was able to fight off a horde of soldiers on her own during a war in her celestial realm. She was able to split her chains into millions of different ones, and wove through each warrior, leaving a field filled with blood in the remnants of the battle.
Brynn forms a key out of thin air. With this key, she shouts aloud, "The blood stained warrior! Open gate of the Bloody Chain, Lucinda!" With this, a woman with long purple hair is formed. Her face is completely emotionless, and her eyes are blank. She is there for one reason, and one reason only, to follow the orders of Brynn. Like her chains, Lucinda has to be linked to someone to be as strong as she is. She was a vessel used by her father to destroy nations before he was defeated by the knights of the round table. Realizing that the woman could be more than just a puppet, the round table allowed her into the organization. Under Brynn's rule, they hope that the woman can separate herself from the chains that are shackling down her personality. - Abilities:
- Offense:
Rank: C+
Category: Offensive
Type: Multitarget
Damage: 68 hp
Range: 135 meters
Speed: 100 mps
Duration: 6 posts
Downside: N/A
Description: Lucinda says aloud in a monotone voice, "Chain Command: Offense." With this, Lucinda's singular chain transforms into 7 different chains with pointed ends, shooting themselves outwards to all enemies within range. As the chains connect, they deal damage, by piercing through the person's skin, or through impact [Please include a way for opponents to dodge ^^]. Either way, the chains will then fly back to Lucinda's side. While this spell is active, Lucinda gains a 85% buff to her physical strength. This spell can be ended by the activation of "Chain Command: Defense."
- Defense:
Rank: C+
Category: Defensive
Type: Burst
Damage: 270 hp
Range: 45 meters
Speed: 45 mps
Duration: 6 posts
Downside: N/A
Description: Lucinda says aloud in a monotone voice, "Chain Command: Defense." With this, Lucinda's singular chain transforms into multiple different types of chains, linking themselves in a way that forms a shield. This shield circles around Lucinda, and is controlled by her mind, meaning that it can move to wear she calls it to. Even after the shield is broken, it still keeps its shape. While in this form, Lucinda gains a 40% buff to both physical and magical defense [Please clarify if this is physical/magical resistance.]. This spell can be ended by the activation of "Chain Command: Offense."
Brynn wrote:D and C rank spells- Daria:
Rank: CType: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 12 hpSummon Melee Health: 100 hpRange: 30 MetersSpeed: 30 Mps Duration: 5 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Daria, the Golden Chariot. This is her known name at the round table, which is actually well deserved. Her recognition as a soldier does not come from her skills with a sword, but rather the skills she has with her Golden Chariot. Pulled by golden horses, and surrounded with gold, Daria had run down armies with it, all the while keeping her chariot clean of blood. She record is spotless in the Celestial world, and is what makes her worthy of keeping her spot at the round table. No one really knows her history beyond her record, and her need for speed.
Brynn, forms a key out of thin air. With this key, she shouts aloud, "The stampede that runs down all! Open gate of the Golden Chariot, Daria!" Whenever Daria is summoned, she is on her golden chariot. It is white, and has golden designs all over it. Her horses are the same in that they are white with golden armor. Her armor is as golden as her other items, and she holds a basic iron sword that seems weak in comparison to everything else in her possession. When Daria is summoned to the field, her cockiness rains supreme. It is one of the things that makes Daria Brynn's least used summon. However, her powerful AoE attack and speed makes her a need in certain situations.- Abilities:
- Stampede:
Rank: C
Category: Offensive
Type: AoE
Damage: 15 hp per post
Range: 60 meters
Speed: 30 mps
Duration: 5 posts
Downside: N/A
Description: Daria raises up her sword, and calls forth a stampede. All of a sudden, several golden ethereal like horses form. They begin to trot down the battlefield, stomping on anything in their paths, and the amount of horses seems to be endless, as more and more form at the start of each post. To her allies, these horses are mere illusions that they can walk through, but to her enemies, the horses are physical obstacles that hurt and block their paths. [Please state that this ability only does damage within it's range ^^]
- Charge!:
Rank: C
Category: Offensive
Type: Burst
Damage: 60 hp
Range: 30 meters
Speed: 30 mps
Duration: 1 post
Downside: N/A
Description: Daria raises up her sword, and calls for her chariot to charges forward onto a foe. All foes that are hit by her chariot on the way to her destination are dealt damage and dragged to where the chariot is going.
- Jeremiah:
Rank: CType: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 12 hpSummon Melee Health: 100 hpRange: 30 MetersSpeed: 30 Mps Duration: 5 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Jeremiah, the Sentinel. His code name is one given to him by his massive contributions to defense. Not only is he someone who can tank out damage, but he is a commander of war himself. While on the battle field, he has been known to hold all attacks on his own, allowing his troops to attack freely. He guides them with every move, helping him win every war he has fought in. His shield, the "Iron Siege" is one forged from many different metallic alloys. These metallic alloys can move from their places in the shield, allowing any material to be utterly useless to it. This is how Jeremiah is able to withstand the effects of the battlefield without even a wound.
Brynn forms a key out of thin air. With this key, she shouts aloud, "The shield that guides it's troops to victory! Open gate of the Sentinel, Jeremiah!" With this, a man with blue hair is formed. His armor is heavy duty, and looks like it should weight the man completely down. However, he holds up his body, shield, and axe with ease. Although he doesn't use his axe much, it can be helpful in certain situations. Jeremiah is a very modest man who tries his best to not get in the way of anything. There are many times when he seems flustered, but all of those flaws go away in battle. Once he is in the tides of war, his nervousness goes away. He doesn't ever go against Brynn, but he does his best to get his input in.- Abilities:
- The Iron Siege:
Rank: C
Category: Defensive
Type: AoE
Durability: 180 hp [Please lower this down to 90 HP as this is AoE]
Range: 60 meters
Speed: 30 mps
Duration: 5 posts
Downside: N/A
Description: Jeremiah slams his shield into the ground as a protective barrier forms around the front of it. As Jermiah picks it back up, the shield is fully formed. Any ally behind it gains a 25% buff to all their defenses.
- Defense is the Best Offense:
Whenever Jeremiah bashes an enemy with his shield for the first time, they are stunned for 1 post. All times after that, they are knocked back 30 meters at 30 mps. As well as this, due to the metal alloy used in his shield, his attacks with it are stronger, increasing his strength by 55%. [Passives are -10% from the chart. Please lower this to 45% buff, or make this into an active ability.]
- Leonardo:
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Rank: CType: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 12 hpSummon Melee Health: 100 hpRange: 30 MetersSpeed: 30 Mps Duration: 5 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Leonardo, also known as the cursed bear. Leonardo was once an amazing warrior that had conquered much land within his realm. However, one day he was turned into a polar bear by a shaman that had tricked him into giving up his body for a stronger form. He just didn't mention that the form would be a bear. This didn't stop Leonard though. He tore through battlefields with his claws of steel, earning him his spot at the round table. He is a brute, who will stop at nothing until he can get his old body back.
Brynn, forms a key out of thin air. With this key, she shouts aloud, "The claws that tear through battlefields! Open gate of the Cursed Bear, Leonardo!" Whenever Leonardo is summoned, he takes the form of an armored polar bear that has claws made of steel. He takes on the personality of a very rude person. It's clear that he shows some anger towards what had happened, but he has a heart of gold. It's the reason why he has a spot. When it comes down to it, he will protect his allies till the ends of the earth. - Abilities:
- Bloody Rampage:
Rank: C
Category: Offensive
Type: Multitarget
Damage: 12 hp per post
Range: 90 meters
Speed: 65 mps
Duration: 1 post [DoT's min duration is 3 posts, please increase this.]
Downside: N/A
Description: Leonardo's claws begin to glow a bright red light as he lashes them out towards enemies within range. He opens up wounds on them that cause them to bleed out each post.
- Steel Claws:
Leonardo's claws are made of pure steel. This gives him a 55% buff to his physical strength. [Passives are -10% from the chart. Please lower this to 45% buff, or make this into an active ability.]
- Freya:
Rank: CType: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 12 hpSummon Melee Health: 100 hpRange: 30 MetersSpeed: 30 Mps Duration: 5 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Freya, also known as the Winter Assassin. She was a synthetic human created for ultimate destruction. She cut down the world with her blade and kunai's. However, the heart that had been given to her was one that had a secret artifact within it. The frozen heart. This was a jewel that held magical powers. Most importantly, it gave Freya a different purpose. It froze the evil that was put inside of her, and it allowed her to gain morales. She became an assassin that killed wrong doers, but most importantly, her creators. People who wanted to do such a thing didn't deserve to exist, and she knew that. So, with her blades made of ice, she will fulfill her duty. This duty and her power is what made her worthy of a seat at the round table.
Brynn forms a key out of thin air. As she does, she yells out loud, "The icicle that falls with vengeance! Open, gate of the Winter Assassin, Freya!" With this, a woman with silky black hair forms out of thin air. Her aura eminates a feeling of intimidation. Not only that, but a sense of cold within your body. This is exactly what Freya is. A person who's mood is serious and cold. She shows no mercy to those who won't show any back. That is why she is an excellent summon for Brynn to use. Freya will accomplish whatever's necessary to do right by Brynn.- Abilities:
- Icicle Storm:
Rank: C
Category: Offensive
Type: Multitarget
Damage: 45 hp
Range: 90 meters
Speed: 65 mps
Duration: 2 posts
Downside: N/A
Description: Freya opens up a spell circle right in front of her. As she does, 6 icicles form on the border of the circle, and are sent out towards all enemies within range. This decreases their physical defenses by 55% for 1 post. [Please clarify if this is Physical Resistance.]
- Cold Killer:
Whenever Freya uses her ability, she teleports anywhere within 30 meters at 30 mps. She then gains a 55% increase to her speed for 1 post. [Passives are -10% from the chart. Please lower this to 45% buff, or make this into an active ability.]
- Samson:
Rank: CType: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 12 hpSummon Melee Health: 100 hpRange: 30 MetersSpeed: 30 Mps Duration: 5 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Samson is a true soldier of the celestial realm. One of the most well known archers within the celestial kingdom. Under the Celestial King's hand, he picked Samson to be his representative amongst the round table. Although he isn't the strongest of the bunch, he still has his merits. He is an archer that can shoot through realms. His arrows shoot stars that are quick enough to phase through the barrier of realms. This has allowed him to kill bounties at will for the Celestial King himself.
Brynn forms a celestial key in her hand, as she raises it up, shouting out, "The star that shoots through realms! Open gate of the Shooting Star, Samson!" When Samson is formed on the battlefield, he takes the form of an attractive man. He has a bow that has the designs of the cosmos on it, as well as golden armor. Since Samson was appointed by the king himself, he believes that he is the leader of the group. However, due to him being a celestial servant, he had to be willing to give up his leadership to Brynn. This makes him resentful, and at most times snarky towards Brynn. He tries his best to be the leader of the group, even when Brynn is trying her hardest to lead the group. This is why he is one of Brynn's less used summons, but that doesn't make him any less valuable.- Abilities:
- Realm Breaker:
Rank: C
Category: Offensive
Type: Single Target
Damage: 30 hp
Range: 120 meters
Speed: 120 mps
Duration: 1 post
Downside: N/A
Description: Samson takes in a deep breath as he forms an arrow with his bow. Cosmic energy begins to spiral into it as he releases it from his finger tips. As it flies through the air, it blinks in and out of realms, disappearing and reappearing every few seconds. As it flies into the opponent, it pierces them and penetrates through their armor. [This last bit sounds a little like an autohit, to be on the safe side, may you reword it so opponents can have a chance to dodge.]
- Shooting Stars:
Samson's arrows are made of cosmic energy. More specifically though, they are stars themselves. Each of these arrows are pointed with a star from the celestial realm. Although this should make the arrows stronger, Samson's unique ability of making the arrows pierce through realms has made them 50% weaker. However, they're range and speed have considerably increased by 50% each. [This is a 100% buff total. Please lower this down to 45% and make it total between the range and speed.]
- Meredith:
Rank: CType: Celestial SummonSummon Melee Damage: 12 hpSummon Melee Health: 100 hpRange: 30 MetersSpeed: 30 Mps Duration: 5 postsDownside: N/ADescription: Meredith, also known as the Goddess of Charity. Although not a real goddess, she has taken on the powers of one herself. Not through force, or any sort of means. Instead, her selfless nature had brought out a goddess in need of assistance. By amplifying the healing magic of the priestess, she had to promise that she would use her healing for the good of the world. She did exactly that, and only used her powers for good rather than evil. She helped armies fight in wars against the evil by healing more damage than what the other armies could dish out. She helped heal the sick by blessing them with the Goddess's grace. Soon after, she became known as a Goddess herself, bringing attention to her by the knights. She was then granted the seat of the high priestess, to which she was wary of. Her powers had never really come from a goddess, but rather her own celestial power. So, she never really thought about worshipping a god. It made her less of a high priestess, but she promised that she'd help as many people as she could, and that's what she was going to do.
Brynn forms a celestial key in her hand, as she raises it up, shouting out, "The light that envelops the needing! Open gate of the Goddess of Charity, Meredith!" When Meredith is formed on the hair, she takes the form of a young girl. A form granted to her by the magic powers of the goddess. One can tell by her aura that she has the strength of a goddess, having her be mistaken for one herself. Though, in a world of mages, one might see her as a god slayer. No matter what she is looked at though, she is always very humble about herself and her powers. She is known as a very caring person, that tries her best to not be seen as someone important. That is what Brynn respects about her, and is why she's one of her more often used summons- Abilities:
- Sanctity of Healing:
Rank: C
Category: Supportive
Type: Single Target
Healing: 60 hp
Range: 120 meters
Speed: 120 mps
Duration: 1 post
Downside: N/A
Description: Meredith slams her staff into the ground and chants out a few words, sending out a beam of light towards an ally within range. Once this beam hits, the ally is healed and cleansed of a single debuff. [You cannot completely get rid of a debuff. Counter-Effects for debuffs reduce their potency by a maximum of up to 50% if that is what you're going for here. Please rework that part of the spell.]
- Sanctity of Protection:
Meredith's duty is to protect and heal those who can't do so themselves. That is why protection is included in her powers. Whenever Meredith heals an ally above their maximum health, they gain a shield that lasts for one post, equal to the amount of health that was given above their own maximum health. As well as this, Meredith gains a 55% buff to healing [Please rework this into an active spell and follow active rules.]
![Master [1000]](https://i.imgur.com/AQXM4xC.png)
![Senior [500]](https://i.imgur.com/Nmfn8cD.png)
![Novice [250]](https://i.imgur.com/lrYlde6.png)
