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    Alice Crystals Pet Registration

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    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Empty Alice Crystals Pet Registration

    Post by Guest 2nd January 2013, 3:29 pm

    Name:Meaki
    Species:Lamb Beast
    Type: Support pet
    Description: appeaerence: browse.devi antart.c om/?q=chibi+mo nster #/d 34whfcShe has a pink face and white whool. She has 4 holves and has little horns on the top oh her head behind her lamb ears, 2 sharp teeth in place of canines, pink eyes. She is 1 years old and is about 1 foot and 8 inches tall.She can not talk becaue she is still an infant and hasn't learned how to yet. She can walk on her hine legs and can run on all fours. Yet prefers to sleep in Alice's backpack
    Abilities:

    Name: Healers Lullaby
    Description: gives a D-rank level heal to Alice, her allies, or alices spirits. Can also prevent d-rank slug ness, poison, or paralysis for the next 3 turns.
    Strengths: partially heals
    can prevent certain defaults to alice and her friends.
    Weaknesses:
    Has to be heard by the allies.
    can be canceled out.
    can only be heard from a rang of 5-10 meters.
    4 post cool down

    Name: Warriors Lulluby
    Description: Gives a D-rank increases the speed for allies and Alices spirits Lasts 4 turnes.
    Strengths:
    helps support team members.
    its a nice song to listen to
    Weaknesses:
    the allies must be able to hear the sound.
    the sound can be blocked out.
    can be canceled out by an even louder sound
    only be heard in a range from 5-10 meters.
    3 post cool down


    Last edited by RogueDoll on 5th January 2013, 5:38 pm; edited 8 times in total
    Alleria
    Alleria

    Wicked Witch of the West



    Moderator- Ten Wizard Saint Member- S-Rank- A-Rank- Veteran Level 1- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Necromancer's Passion
    Position : None
    Posts : 1274
    Guild : Guildless
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : Ilyria the Fallen One
    Experience : 45400

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Geass Magic
    Second Skill: Nox Aeterna
    Third Skill:

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Empty Re: Alice Crystals Pet Registration

    Post by Alleria 3rd January 2013, 12:00 am

    Warriors Lulluby - o cant allow a dual stats effect for this one since it a weak pet. Just stick to the increase ally part for now. You can upgrade when you have enough jewels.
    Also its not really required but a pic will be helpful


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    Entrance Theme:
    Spoiler:

    Battle Theme:
    Spoiler:
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    Guest

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Empty Re: Alice Crystals Pet Registration

    Post by Guest 4th January 2013, 3:34 pm

    the red is the url, get rid of all of the spaces and that is what she looks like :)
    Rosetta Crawford
    Rosetta Crawford

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishgar- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- Demon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- Hero- Villain- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Embodiment of the 13th
    Position : None
    Posts : 3499
    Guild : Blue Pegasus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : Sky Emperor Shangdi
    Experience : 367,824.5

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Ten No Kichi
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Empty Re: Alice Crystals Pet Registration

    Post by Rosetta Crawford 5th January 2013, 9:29 am

    RogueDoll wrote:Name:Meaki
    Species:Lamb Beast
    Type: Support pet
    Description: appeaerence: browse.devi antart.c om/?q=chibi+mo nster #/d 34whfcShe has a pink face and white whool. She has 4 holves and has little horns on the top oh her heas behind her lamb ears, 2 sharp teath inplave of canines, pink eyes. She is 1 years old and is about 1 foot and 8 inches tall.She can not talk becaue she is still an infant and hasn't learned how to yet. She can walk on her hine legs and can run on all fours. -- Please go over this and check for spelling and grammar as i am not sure what some of this means.
    Abilities:

    Name: Healers Lulluby
    Description: gives a D-rank level heal to Alice, her alies, or alices spirits. Can also prevent slugness, poison, or pralisis for the next turns. -- Spelling and grammar check please
    -- Also for how many turns? I'd suggest one or two.
    Strengths: partially heals and can prevent certain defaults to alice and her friends. -- I believe you mean defects rather than defaults, but i'd use the word ailments instead
    Weaknesses: it is a D-rank heal. And can only prevent D-rank handicaps. -- Saying it is a d rank heal isn't really a weakness.
    -- Cannot heal handicaps of above D is though so good job on that
    -- I would also like a range for this spell. Suggest 5 meters as its only D rank
    -- I would also like a cooldown for this spell. Suggest 2 or 3 posts.

    Name: Warriors Lulluby
    Description: Gives a D-rank increases the speed of allies and Alices spirits Lasts 4 turnes. -- Again spelling and grammar check please
    -- Please specify a range for this.
    Strengths: Not only Helps Allies but hurts Enemys. -- How does it hurt enemies. Please specify in the description
    --
    Weaknesses: Only does D-rank increase, meaning in the bigger picture it doesn't do much. -- This is not really a weakness.
    -- What is the cooldown of this ability. I suggest 2 or 3 posts


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    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zack2_by_gramcrackers-d8ker96

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zack_by_ravenart5-d8j23c0

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zackrose_zpse9a22d85
    Current missions(4/6):  get the squid A, King of Fighters(S), Village Protection(A), Repair the House(D)
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    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Empty Re: Alice Crystals Pet Registration

    Post by Guest 5th January 2013, 9:52 am

    Ok done
    Rosetta Crawford
    Rosetta Crawford

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishgar- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- Demon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- Hero- Villain- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Embodiment of the 13th
    Position : None
    Posts : 3499
    Guild : Blue Pegasus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : Sky Emperor Shangdi
    Experience : 367,824.5

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Ten No Kichi
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Empty Re: Alice Crystals Pet Registration

    Post by Rosetta Crawford 5th January 2013, 10:05 am

    RogueDoll wrote:Name:Meaki
    Species:Lamb Beast
    Type: Support pet
    Description: appeaerence: browse.devi antart.c om/?q=chibi+mo nster #/d 34whfcShe has a pink face and white whool. She has 4 holves and has little horns on the top oh her head behind her lamb ears, 2 sharp teeth in place of canines, pink eyes. She is 1 years old and is about 1 foot and 8 inches tall.She can not talk becaue she is still an infant and hasn't learned how to yet. She can walk on her hine legs and can run on all fours. Yet prefers to sleep in Alice's backpack. -- Spelling and grammar seems improved, but i'll go over it quickly. Whool should be wooll, holves should be hooves, hine should be hind.
    Abilities:

    Name: Healers Lullaby
    Description: gives a D-rank level heal to Alice, her allies, or alices spirits. Can also prevent d-rank slug ness, poison, or paralysis for the next 3 turns. -- Sluggishness not slug ness.
    Strengths: partially heals and can prevent certain defaults to alice and her friends. -- Defaults still makes no sense. Should be defects or ailments
    Weaknesses: it is a D-rank heal. And can only prevent D-rank handicaps.


    Name: Warriors Lulluby --should be lullaby
    Description: Gives a D-rank increases the speed for allies and Alices spirits Lasts 4 turnes.
    Strengths: helps support team members.
    Weaknesses: Only does D-rank increase, meaning in the bigger picture it doesn't do much. -- [color=teal]This is not really a weakness.

    Everything that i've put teal writing next to needs modifying in some way.

    Both of your spells need a maximum range (i'd say 5 to 10 meters) and a cooldown as you cannot just use them over and over repeatedly. I suggest two or three posts for each of them.

    Cooldown should probably go in weaknesses and you could also put range there as well e.g.
    Maximum range: 10 meters

    Also please read over everything I put and make sure you fix everything and not just some of it. Otherwise I just have to repeat myself and we get nowhere :)


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    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zack2_by_gramcrackers-d8ker96

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zack_by_ravenart5-d8j23c0

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zackrose_zpse9a22d85
    Current missions(4/6):  get the squid A, King of Fighters(S), Village Protection(A), Repair the House(D)
    Rosetta Crawford
    Rosetta Crawford

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishgar- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- Demon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- Hero- Villain- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Embodiment of the 13th
    Position : None
    Posts : 3499
    Guild : Blue Pegasus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : Sky Emperor Shangdi
    Experience : 367,824.5

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Ten No Kichi
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Empty Re: Alice Crystals Pet Registration

    Post by Rosetta Crawford 5th January 2013, 5:41 pm

    Approved


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    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zack2_by_gramcrackers-d8ker96

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zack_by_ravenart5-d8j23c0

    Alice Crystals Pet Registration  Zackrose_zpse9a22d85
    Current missions(4/6):  get the squid A, King of Fighters(S), Village Protection(A), Repair the House(D)

      Current date/time is 27th April 2024, 12:37 pm