Moons passed. Before long summer was in full swing, with birdsong constantly in the trees above my head, and beautiful cool cloudless nights. There shone a bright sky with the stars spangled across the sky shining in all their glory. The moon was often there to illuminate alongside its tiny friends, but always appeared different each time, slowly decreasing and altering its big fat face of light to a sliver or strand of the whitest curled hair. After that it would vanish completely for a while, which always seemed to be the loneliest of times. The stars were still there to comfort me, but nothing was the same without that moon patched on the blanket of the night sky. However, hope would return as the silvery crescent appeared once again, growing in size night by night.
I spent my nights relying on the skies for comfort. In this season clouds were rare, so I enjoyed the company of those bright lights against the darkness. Days went by and I did what I could to survive. That was the first step to living and then thriving, as my dear mother had taught me. I could hunt. I could forage. I could fish. I was pretty much set for moving onto the ideal of being able to live. That much was true, but there was a small something of nature, a piece, that was standing in my way. Predators. I was one. But there were also ones greater than me. I still had only barely grown in the last few comings and goings of the moon, and wolves, foxes, and large raptors had become much more common. It seemed like I could never win sometimes. A fox had chased me away from my own hunted or fished kill, so my efforts had been for nothing. This was not too uncommon, but thankfully those other canines never seemed too interested in me if I complied with what they wanted. The real problem came with the other types of predators. I would never be safe on the ground with a wolf pack prowling about, and while I could climb trees to an extent the eagles could still get me and carry me off as if it were nothing. As a small raccoon dog in a big world, I had to watch my back.
Then that fateful day came. Just as I was hopefully going to start truly living, the time finally approached- that dire moment. It was around midday, and it was the last thing I expected. Just as was illustrated before, the claws and fangs of death were slowly pressing against my skin harder than ever. They had not yet taken me, but it was closer than ever before. I could feel the hot breath of death flowing down onto the back of my neck, but what was unfolding before my pink-hued eyes was something else entirely. The earth and trees were growing smaller as my paws had long since left the ground. The sharp grasp of strong talons digging into my back made me feel sick in the stomach as I gave a loud yelp and whine in pain. The world blurred before me as, in slow motion despite the speeding into the air, I had realized what happened. The giant mountain eagle flying off with me, a barely-full grown tanuki, would not be too rare a sight to most.
But my instincts and will to live suddenly kicked in. I struggled to fight what had captured me but to barely any extent. In response, the raptor made its grasp on me tighter, causing me to give out another series of agonized cries. The sight of the land below made me dizzy, and I shut my eyes to try to block it out. However, the deafening roar of the wind was impossible to ignore. Out of options, I was finally about to concede and go limp, waiting to be carried off somewhere and eaten. That was the cruel reality of this world. The death was now so close.
But something inside of me snapped. I did not want to die! I could not leave like this just yet! There was still too much to do; too much of the world left to experience. With a simple and fragile resolve in mind, I struggled more and more, and finally something came of my efforts. The most dangerous animal there was in my small range of knowledge, a wolf, appeared all around me. But it was not like one would think. I was the wolf. It was me. Longer powerful lithe legs compared to my former short and fluffy ones, a larger body, and a thick head hungry for survival. With the increase weight of my transformation, I started falling fast to the ground. The eagle had let go of me, but it was not like it would do much good to keep me in the air either. And while I was falling fast to the ground, everything around me slowed. In desperation to not hit the ground and die from my higher weight on impact, I transformed again somehow; this time into smaller version of my original captor, a falcon. It was in heartbeats when I realized I could not fly, and in that same fall to the earth I changed again. A cat. Plain and simple. And in that form, I managed to play on its natural abilities and land hard and lucky in a bush, but with little damage to my physical form. Just what had happened?
Confusion swam in my mind as I tried to gain my bearings, breathing hard and heavy as I looked at the alien state my body was in. A feline. And seconds before that an avian and larger canine. Just what was this? I was panicking as I went over what had happened. My shape had changed form. Shapeshifting? Just how was that possible? It seemed completely unnatural. And yet here I was, stuck in the form of a cat. I began to wonder how this worked. Surely it was not permanent. Directing my mind to focus back on how I used to be- short, fluffy, canine, and so on, I blinked twice to find myself back how I was supposed to be. Was it really that easy?
I had to try this out again. My curiosity was insatiable. After settling down after my ordeal, I made my way to a local waterhole with clear waters for the sole purpose of being able to see my reflection. Once I could see my crystal clear image on the surface, I again placed my attention on the next thing to come to mind: a fox. And sure enough, as I blinked once again it was no longer a tanuki I was gazing at but a bright orange-furred vixen.
I continued practicing and using my newfound power as the weeks went by. Somehow, as if by magic, even animals I had never encountered before in my life came to mind and form. It was as if somewhere deep in my core, I knew what they were and quickly mastered the shapes. Tigers, penguins, kangaroos, opossums, and eventually even mythical beings such as kirins, griffins, and lesser dragons were added to my repertoire of shapes. But the most mysterious was a figure that was lingering at the back of my mind. I could not find the truth behind the silhouette until one day... There they were. There were two. I was high in a tree, gazing down with the most curiosity I had ever felt in my life at what I could only tack on to be as "human". They were holding two large objects that seemed to be made of wood to their necks, with long sticks plucking at strings on the wooden items. And from there, a beautiful sound was made. Music. It was unlike anything I had ever heard before.
After that enchanting encounter, I now understood what I had to put my mind to. That shady form in the back of my mind was now clear. With that sky full of my friends, the stars and moon, being my only audience I put my power to work once again. And just like that, it happened. I peered down at my reflection in the crystalline pool to see a human's face. My intrigued pink-red eyes blinking slowly a few times, long and straight brown hair blanketing my bare back, and smooth skin that was different from all my other shapes; that was what I saw. Putting my hands in front of my face to observe and inspect, I put my palms together and clasped my fingers around, like a baby discovering his or her paws or tail for the very first time. It was all so new... I barely what to think of it. Carefully rising to my feet, I took my first step, somehow managing to balance on only two legs like it was nothing.
And from there in my sheer joy, something else happened as I took a few more steps... I let out a sound: a rush of air from my lungs, pushing through my vocal chords in the most delightful way, as if something had tickled me. A laugh, or maybe more of an exuberant giggle. So I had finally done it. Of all there was, I had finally conquered the mystery. And that sound: my voice. I had a voice. And it was not just one of any animal. It had a uniqueness to it. While all tanuki had their own distinguishable sound- this was so different. It had a music ring, and I now felt as if a range of frequencies and other sounds was now at my disposal. But this was not all.
Something now rushed at me faster than anything; moving so hard that it almost hurt upon impacting my mind. In a way, I had always known it. Always. Somehow they were there, knocking at my brain and just waiting to be let in. Waiting for me to accept them, weary travelers I had always known. The words. The names. The meanings. Not everything was just a picture anymore. Nothing was just an image. There were ideals. I could see and find a grasp of what was there, what was bad, and what could be better. I saw and suddenly realized that things were not just black and white. I could attempt something, and aim for a perfection there was to be achieved like others. Others? Yes, others. Animals could only strive so far. To yearn for those three things I had been taught: to survive, to live, to thrive. But I now felt like I wanted more, as if there were other levels and possibilities out there. I no longer would be guided based only on instinct. If I could find that ideal; seek that light when I was now aware that true darkness did exist even if inexperienced... it would be it.
And with that realization came a rush of something else. Emotion. And responsibility. Could I take a role among humans to find a place in a world of ideals, thoughts, and feelings other than raw instinct and need? Could I 'want' something? Maybe I could. Maybe I would. And what was that? Hope. A feeling that made me seem like a child once again. But it was so real, so close, and so familiar. How had I not known it all along?
As confused as I felt, I knew I was no longer truly dwelling in confusion. Yet I was alone, and it was no place for me to be or linger for too long. The words knocking at my mind had stilled and silenced, becoming one with my understanding. I had to leave. I could not stay in a place where there were only three points to look to. A trio and a cycle. There was so much more. With that knowledge in mind I focused my efforts somewhere else.
I was on a large mass of land surrounded by water. A continent that I would soon leave. A few more days passed with me working to perfect my shapeshifting and sharpen my skills and senses. I learned some things were harder for humans than they were for other animals, but knew that with effort I could overcome the difficulties. Finally breathing in an air of courage, I stood on a high cliff overlooking the white crests atop waves that were crashing the shoreline. The sea. And far away, there would be more land, where I could start and portray my personal sense of an ideal. Yes, I was a person. No longer a being that could almost be considered mindless or natural. I was my own unique being, breaking free from a cycle and taking a true step forward: a motion of freedom and determination.
//Mobile. WC 2154.
by Guest 10th September 2015, 10:29 pm
