Dance With the Devil

It really was infuriating how much of a sweetheart he was turning out to be. Saffron could joke and cringe and bluster all day long with the best of them, but at heart she was a romantic – and she fucking hated that about herself. Not that she could be swayed by shallow gestures of sweet nothings by anyone that thought to sweep her off her feet, but once she got to know and like someone a bit, even little moments of words or acts of affection had a more profound effect on her than she would ever be happy admitting. And unfortunately, the effect with Cedric right now was so strong that she had to break the tension by harassing him about it. He gave her his trademark grin, insisting that he was most definitely still a jackass, but liked to dabble from time to time in sweeter realms on the weekends. Once more, Saffron rolled her eyes… but she chuckled too.

The weight of his decision to change his name was not lost on her. Cedric was still an incredibly high brow name as far as she was concerned, one that definitely played well into his insufferably roguish charm, but it was at least a name that wouldn’t feel like pulling teeth for her to say out loud. Saffron was happy for him. Proud of him.. And it showed in the bright way she smiled at him. Yet the revelation of his choice couldn’t distract her from the need she had for him in that moment. If anything, it doubled down on it. And so with some uncertainty she asked him if it would be okay, knowing it probably wasn’t the wisest choice… but also knowing that it wouldn’t be harmful, either. Cedric had made it very clear that he was happy to continue in any vein that she was comfortable with, and she highly doubted that Trevor would be upset about it either, given the circumstances.

With the green light given, she carefully pulled herself up onto the bed so she could do the act properly, kissing him deeply in an act to reassure herself that they both were, in fact, still alive, and pouring every fiber of emotion into the act that she could to wordlessly express how strongly she felt for him. They sat there for a long moment with one another, and upon parting Saffron elected to stay cuddled up next to him, still longing to stay close. She thanked him for saving her life, a sentiment that he returned before kissing her on the head and drawing a small, soft smile of contentment from the blonde.

They passed the time like that for a while, the two of them chatting and simply relaxing with one another until eventually Saffron would sigh. “As nice as this is, I really should go find my phone and at least let Trevor know I’m not dead. He’s probably been losing his mind for the last few days. That, and I suppose I should probably go check in with Vandrad and everyone else, too.” It still took her a second to actually force herself to move, slowly crawling off the bed and using the edge of it to steady herself on her feet. She was feeling stronger now that she’d been awake for a bit – and had been reassured of Cedric’s survival – but that didn’t change the fact that she had been unconscious for three days after a severe beating.

Before she could get too far, however, the familiar sound of heavy footfalls drew both of their attentions down the hallway. Saffron’s face was already settling into a resigned scowl even as Cedric confirmed that it was likely Grubar coming to check on Saffron, something the Scengar had been doing like clockwork in the hopes of knowing the moment she was awake. More likely than not, Hosrius had alerted him. Her annoyance with the extraterrestrial was already returning in full, even if it was a bit muted now that things had calmed down a bit. Yes, he had shown up when she needed him, but that didn’t change the hurtful things he had said. Not even Cedric’s playful remark about wishing he had a bowl of popcorn would manage to break her glower, though she did at least shoot him a look.

By the time Grubar had entered, stooping to fit through the smaller doorframe, Saffron already had her arms crossed over her chest. Their eyes met briefly before she flicked hers away, picking a spot on a wall and settling her simmering ire on it… though it was worth noting that her eyes were their usual purple, not crimson. She did not return his awkward greeting, though she did flash him an incredulous raised brow when he attempted a flippant remark about how long she’d been out, a look that went unnoticed by him as he’d already closed his eyes to kick himself mentally. By the time he opened them again, she was once more not looking at him, though her jaw seemed clenched tighter. Gently, he corrected himself and informed her that he was happy she was alive and awake, he had just assumed she’d be up sooner if only out of a determination to kick his ass.

“Is this funny to you?” she asked him, not moved by his attempt at humor. While she was clearly still angry, her voice was merely firm more than anything else, a controlled upset that didn’t involve raising her voice or overemphasizing her displeasure with needless dramatics. Once more her eyes rounded on him, her body shifting in place to face him more directly. “That’s all you have to say to me? You hurt my feelings, Grubar. You went out of your way to say a lot of mean and hurtful things out of some bullshit attempt to make us upset with you, and for what? So that we wouldn’t resent you leaving as much? Everyone in that room knew the situation you and Hosrius were in, knew that your hands were tied. For fuck’s sake, what were you expecting us to do? Demand that you stay?! Maybe Hosrius did, but he was the only one with the right since he was in the exact same situation as you. The rest of us would have understood. I would have understood.”

Saffron fixed her stern glare on him, even as she uncrossed her arms to point to herself in emphasis. “You didn’t need to threaten us. You didn’t need to threaten me. The fact that I know you care about me doesn’t change the fact that you still went out of your way and actively chose to speak to me – to all of us – like you don’t. Yes, you came back, and I will get to that in a minute, but that doesn’t excuse how you chose to act. You were trying to hurt us, and that made me much angrier than your actual words ever did. It was selfish and unnecessary, and if you don’t have a fat fucking apology for me right now then you better march your ass right out of this room before I decide to actually start kicking it.”

In most circumstances, with most people, humor likely would have helped. However, Saffron had a bullheaded streak in her even on the best of days, but the depth to which Grubar had offended her didn’t leave any allowance for jokes. Granted, she probably could have been a little kinder. After all, she had been more than well aware of what he’d been trying to do at the time. She knew he hadn’t meant what he said, but the fact that he felt the need to say it, to even go there, trumped all other reason in her mind. Perhaps it stemmed from the fact that she had never really been afforded the chance in her life to hide her emotions, ultimately shaping her into a woman that was more aggressively outspoken and upfront with her thoughts. Or maybe it was because she had a semi-recent history of being emotionally abused and gaslit by her ex. Either way, the blonde wasn’t taking any excuses.

Now Grubar was the one having difficulty meeting her eyes, the Scengar shuffling his feet like he was considering taking her up on her offer to leave. Saffron merely stood there and watched him, waiting expectantly and standing her ground, even when he let out a low growl that indicated he might be on the verge of lashing out at her again. However, he only sighed and apologized, his tone as gentle and sincere as Saffron had ever heard before; perhaps than anyone ever had. He agreed that she was right, that he was trying to ignore his own pain from the situation and had hoped that distancing himself so capriciously would make it easier for him to leave without coming back. He insisted he wouldn’t have actually returned to hurt anyone, the words having stemmed from his lack of control over his anger and sorrow, and wrongly taking it out on the rest of them.

He lost his words there, clearly teetering on the edge of another thought, one that was visibly difficult for him to open up about. Saffron continued to listen in stoic, stony silence as he told them the tale of the last time he’d allowed himself to get comfortable on a planet, which had ultimately put him in the same situation he had found himself in with Genesis. He had wanted to leave at the time then, too, but had allowed himself to be convinced into staying and standing his ground. The result had been a massacre that had wiped out everyone he cared about, with him the sole survivor – and that only because he still owed a debt that could not be paid by his blood.

There was only the slightest of twitches in Saffron’s face as Grubar wiped a tear away, the Fairy Tail mage putting extra effort into maintaining her scowl, though that was becoming more difficult as the pieces started to fit together for her. His backstory wasn’t an excuse to get away with doing what he’d done… but it did, at the very least, explain where he’d been coming from. Grubar insisted he should have handled it better, and reiterated his apology, expressing his anger with himself for letting it happen…. Particularly with Saffron, who he admitted to viewing as a little sister.

A long silence followed his last comment. Saffron watched him steadily for several beats… until finally, she sighed. Closing the distance between them, she approached the Scengar and looked up at him, waiting until he met her eyes. “I’m sorry you went through that,” she told him kindly, her tone compassionate but not pitious. “That’s not fair to you, and it wasn’t fair to those you lost, either… But I’m grateful that you told me so that I can understand where you’re coming from. I can’t promise you won’t ever lose me. Between Seberg, and all this other fucking nonsense, and the assholes that control your life, there’s always going to be a chance that someone’s going to pull my number… but I need you to understand that I’d rather die fighting for your freedom and happiness than carry on with my life knowing that you’re out there somewhere by yourself with no one there to remind you that you don’t have to shut out anyone and anything that’s meaningful to you.”

Gently, she reached up and gave him a soft punch on the arm. “And don’t scare me like that again. I’m glad you came back, and I can’t thank you enough for your help. I honestly don’t know if we could have survived that fight without you, but there was a solid five seconds there where I thought I was gonna have to watch you die, too.” Her anger spent, Saffron took another step forward and gave Grubar a tight hug around his midsection, wrapping her arms as far around him as she could reach. “Thank you for coming back. And for apologizing. I’m sorry I blew up on you… I know I have a bit of a temper, and it runs away with me sometimes, but your friendship means a lot to me and it would take a lot more than something like this for me to stay mad at you forever. You’re the brother I never had, Grubar… and I love you.”

“Hrrk-” Saffron hadn’t quite been prepared for Grubar to hug her back so hard, nor to fully lift her off of her feet, the blonde letting out an involuntary noise in surprise. She wasn’t going to complain about it, however, nor was she going to try and pass off the sobriety of the moment with a joke, as much as she sorely wanted to. Between Hosrius, Cedric, and now Grubar, she’d simply had far too many heart to hearts today and she knew there was only more to come. Yet she held her tongue and forced herself to just let the moment happen, knowing that she couldn’t very well bring humor into things just yet, not when she’d scolded Grubar only minutes ago for not taking things seriously. The Scengar assured her that her outburst had been well deserved, before muttering her sentiments in return. Saffron smiled warming against his chest, hugging him a little tighter and happy enough with how things were.

Cedric was less inclined to let it slide, though. He piped up to inform Grubar that such a beautiful moment would be marred by the Scengar not issuing his declaration with the openness it deserved. Saffron shifted her head to shoot the former Dread Master a playful stink eye, only for her expression to change to bewilderment and then exasperation when she realized that he’d actually popped out at some point to get popcorn. “You’re a jackass,” she mouthed to him silently, though she was still smirking.

Either way, Grubar took it to heart and spoke up, repeating that he loved her. “I know you do, buddy,” Saffron assured him gently, her tone kind and appreciative. When they finally parted, the blonde let out a long exhale. “Alright, I gotta go take care of some shit and check in with everyone else. And I swear to gods if I have to express any other emotion today besides sarcasm, I’m gonna throw myself off a cliff. I’ll be back in a bit, Ced.”

Walking out and leaving Cedric to explain why Saffron had seemingly drawn some random nickname out of thin air, she went back to her room and looked around for her phone. As she suspected, at some point while she was out someone had taken the time to move her personal things that she’d left behind on New Rhaegar before the fight into her recovery room. Among a couple other things in one of the side table drawers was the mobile device. She had a few missed calls and texts that she would have to return, but nothing that took priority over the message she was currently writing.

I’m alive. Just woke up less than an hour ago. I’m still recovering and have a few things I need to wrap up. I promise I’ll come see you as soon as I can. It was as much as she could really say via text. Saffron was sure he’d have some questions and she’d do her best to give him answers as much as she could; he deserved that much at least. But for now, she just wanted to assure him that she had made it through. Slipping the device in a compartment on her arm, she moved back out into the hallway and started making her way toward finding everyone else.