Top Ten Anime Reboots (is joke)

OK! THAT IS IT! THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW! I’VE HAD IT WITH ALL YOU FRICKIN’ TROLLS AND ALL YOU FRICKIN’ HATERS AND ALL YOU FRICKIN SONIC FAN FRICKS. YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES THAT RUINED SONIC FOR EVERYONE! CANT YOU SEE THAT? WHAT THE FRICK! ARE YOU GUYS DOING! ASKING FOR ALL THIS FRICKING GARBAGE- WHY DO WE NEED SONIC ADVENTURE 3? WHY DO WE NEED SONIC HEROES 3? WHY DO WE NEED ANITHR BOOST TO WIN TITLE? WHY DO WE NEED A SONIC 2006 SEQUEL? WHY DO WE NEED ALL THAT? CANT WE HAVE A 3D [ENVIRONMENT] CLASSIC SONIC GAME FOR CRYING OUT FRICKIN LOUD! YOU GUYS KILLED THE SONIC SERIES ALL YOU FRICKIN FAN FRICKS AND YOUR FRICKIN FANTASIES SPEWED OUT AT YOU BY FRICKIN POO MERCHANTS!!! I’M TIRED OF ALL YOU FRICKS! I’M SO FRICKIN MAD! I’M SO FRICKIN MAD- I MEAN, YOU GUYS- YOU GUYS HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE ME LOSE MY MARBLES! WHY CANT YOU GUYS JUST ASK FOR A 3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC SONIC GAME! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! [THROWS CHAIR] I’M SURE NO SONIC FAN PREDICT- WOULD PREDICT- THAT THE ADVENTURE- THE ADVENTURE FANTASIZES WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING! [BREATHING HEAVILY] AND NOW- AND NOW I BET BY NOW THAT SEGA HAS GOT A FREAKIN SONIC ADVENTURE 3 IN DEVELOPMENT WITH SONIC TEAM BECAUSE YOU FRICKIN FRICKS CAN’T EVER, BE QUENCHED. YOUR FANTASIES CAN’T EVER BE QUENCHED- CAN THEY? YOU FRICKIN FRICKS. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN.. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!? YOU GUYS KEEP ON ASKING FOR SONIC ADVENTURE 3! YOU’RE RUINING THE SONIC SERIES- HASN’T IT ALREADY SUFFERED ENOUGH!?

AND IT’S STILL SUFFERING! WHAT THE FRICK! SEGA JUST CAN’T PERFECT SONIC IN THE MODERN WORLD, CAN THEY? ALL ‘CUZ WE HAVE TO HAVE MODERN SONIC! WE HAVE TO HAVE THE MODERN CHARACTERS! WE HAVE TO HAVE WE HAVE TO HAVE AN ADVENTURE TITLE DON’T WE? ANOTHER ADVENTURE TITLE! AAAHHHH!!! YOU FRICKIN FRICKS! I’VE HAD IT! I’VE FRICKIN HAD IT! YOU GUYS HAVE OFFICIALY RUINED EVERYTHING! YOU’VE RUINED THE SONIC SERIES THE SONIC SERIES IS DEAD BECAUSE OF THE SONIC FANBASE I WILL FOREVER HATE THE SONIC FANBASE THEY RUINED EVERYTHING RUIN EVERYTHING! I HATE THE SONIC FANBASE! I! HATE ‘EM! [BREATHING] WHY IS THE SONIC FANBASE HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS? WHY’S THE SONIC FANBASE HAVE TO BE SO NUMBSKULLED!? CAN’T YOU GUYS FRICKIN’ ACCEPT, THAT WE NEED A 3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC SONIC GAME!? HOLY FRICKIN’ FRICKS! HOLY FRICKIN’ FRICKS! WHY CAN’T WE HAVE A 3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC SONIC GAME? IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK? WHY CAN’T WE HAVE A SONIC CD SEQUEL- OR A SONIC PREQUEL- OR, EVEN, A PROPER SONIC 4!? WHY CAN’T WE HAVE THAT!? WHY DO WE NEED A SONIC ADVENTURE 3!?!? WHY DO WE NEED THAT?!? WHY!??! TELL ME! (GETS UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE TO THE CAMERA) TELL ME. TELL ME NOW! RAAH! CURSE YOU SONIC FRICKS! YOU GUYS RUINED IT! YOU RUINED IT AND YOUR FRICKIN FANTASIES YOUR ADVENTURE FANTASIES- LET’S SEE, OOH YEAH GIVE US A SONIC ADVENTURE 3, GIVE US TREASURE HUNTING- GIVE US SHOOTING- THAT’S WHAT SONIC’S ALL ABOUT, HUH!?!? RIGHT! RIGHT! SEGA, RIGHT! GIVE US FRICKIN’ MORE SONIC CLONES! YEAH, WE NEED MORE OF THOSE! AS IF SHADOW WASN’T ENOUGH- OR SILVER, OH WOH, WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, WHY NOT- WHY NOT FRICKIN’ GIVE US MORE DRAGON BALL Z SONIC DUELS! WE’LL NEED THAT HUH! WE ALL NEED THAT! WHY DON’T NEED CLASSIC SONIC RIGHT!?!? WROOONG!!

WHY DO YOU GUYS HAVE TO RUIN IT WITH YOUR FANTASIES!? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS- I MEAN, FOR MONTHS, I’VE BEEN GIVING EVERYONE MY IDEAS OF A 3D ENVIRONMENT SONIC GAME IN THE STYLE OF [SIDE 3 AND KNUCKLES] WHICH IS PERSONALLY THE BEST SONIC GAME! OKAY!? I MEAN- SEGA NEVER ACKNOWLEDGES [SONIC 3 AND KNUCKLES]- IT MAKES ME SO MAD! I MEAN, WHY DOESN’T THAT GAME GET ATTENTION EVEN SONIC CD DOES! THIS MAKES ME SO FRICKIN’ MAD, YOU SONIC FANS HAD TO RUIN EVERYTHING WITH YOUR ADVENTURE FANTASIES! HOLY FRICK! OH, GIVE US SONIC ADVENTURE 3, GIVE US SONIC HEROES 2, GIVE US SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG 2, GIVE US SONIC 2006 2! SONIC 2006 SEQUEL, YEAH, GIVE US MORE BOOST TO WIN. YOU GUYS ARE ALREADY ASKING FOR MORE BOOST TO WIN- OH YEAH, FRICK [SONIC LAWS RULE] GIVE US MORE BOOST TO WIN— NO!!

YOU FRICKIN’ FRICKS! YOU GUYS HAD TO RUIN IT! YOU GUYS HAD TO RUIN IT! WHY!? WHY, WHY!? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS? WHY? WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY? YOU SONIC FANS, THE SONIC FANBASE JUST GOT ME FRICKIN’ WORKED UP! ALL ‘CUZ THEY CAN’T GIVE US SOMETHING ACTUALLY ACCEPTABLE! JUST WHAT THE FRICK, WAHT THE FRICK. THIS MAKES ME SO MAD. YOU GUYS RUINED EVERYTHING WITH YOUR ADVENTURE FANTASIES YOU GUYS ARE FRICKIN IDIOTS- WH-WHY’D YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING!? WHY? WHY!? JUST WHY? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS? I’M TIRED OF THIS! I’M TIRED OF THIS! THE SONIC SERIES IS RUINED (POINTS TO CAMERA) THANKS TO YOU GUYS! YOU FRICKIN FRICKS! HOLY FRICK! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?!?! RRR- I HATE THE SONIC FANBASE SONIC IS RUINED WHY CAN’T YOU GUYS LAUNCH YOUR REBUTTAL AGAINST SEGA FOR A 3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC SONIC GAME!? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THAT HARD? YOU. FRICKIN’. FRICKS! FRICKIN’ FRICKS! FRICKIN’. FRICKS!

AND LIKE I WAS SAYING EARLIER SEGA NEVER ACKNOWLEDGES SONIC 3 AND KNUCKLES! WAHT THE FRICK! WHY CAN’T THEY EVER FRICKIN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT GAME! THEY NEVER FRICKIN PORT IT! YOU ALWAYS SEE THEM PORTING FRICKIN SONIC 1 AND SONIC 2- IT’S NEVER SONIC 3 AND KNUCKLES! WHAT THE FRICK, IF SEGA JUST TRIED TO MAKE A GAME LIKE SONIC 3 AND KNUCKLES, I BET THAT COULD RECOVER THE SONIC SERIES! YOU FRICKIN’ FRICKS SAY, OH, THE SONIC SERIES CAN’T BE FRICKIN RECOVERED- IT CAN BE FRICKIN RECOVERED IF YOU GUYS WOULD JUST FRICKIN COOPERATE! AND FRICKIN ASK FOR A 3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC SONIC GAME! HOLY FRICKIN FRICKS! WHAT THE FRICK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!? WHY CAN’T YOU GUYS ASK FOR SOMETHING FRICKIN WORTHWHILE!? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS? HOLY FRICK I HATE ALL YOU FRICKIN FAN FRICKS! AND LIKE I SAID, IT’S ALWAYS SONIC 1 AND SONIC 2! THOSE GAMES ALWAYS GET ACKNOWLEDGED IT’S NEVER SONIC 3 AND KNUCKLES! THAT’S THE BEST SONIC GAME! HOLY FRICKIN’ FRICKS! IT’S NOT SONIC ADVENTURE 2! IT’S NOT- IT’S- IT’S NOT SONIC ’06 LIKE SOME OF YOU SAY- IT’S NOT SONIC 2006! YOU FRICKIN’ FRICKS COME TO MY CHANNEL AND SAY, OH, SONIC 2006 IS THE BEST GAME! I KNOW IT’S JUST YOU FRICKIN’ TROLLS TRYING TO FRICKIN’ TRYING TO FRICKIN’- TRYING TO FRICKIN’, MESS WITH ME, WHAT THE FRICK! WHAT THE FRICK! YOU-YOU FRICKIN’ TROLLS SEE THAT— AGGHH!!! GET OFF MY CHANNEL RIGHT NOW! YOU FRICKIN’ FRICKS! I HATE ALL OF YOU! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE— MM. THIS. WHY CAN’T YOU GUYS JUST FRICKIN’- UH- WHY CAN’T YOU GUYS JUST FRICKIN’ BE GOOD PEOPLE? AND, THE SONIC FANBASE— CURSE THE SONIC FANBASE! YOU GUYS ARE ONES THAT RUINED THE SERIES! YOU RUINED THIS ENTIRE SERIES, HOLY FRICKIN FRICK..S! UH. AND GUESS WHAT? MH. YOU FRICKIN’ FRICKS— OK, SIGH, YOU KNOW WHAT? MARIO’S DOING MUCH BETTER RIGHT NOW. I MEAN, WHEN FANS REQUESTED UH, WHEN FANS REQUESTED, A 3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC MARIO GAME, NINTENDO FRICKIN’ DID IT! WHY CAN’T SEGA BE THE SAME? I THOUGHT WHEN SONIC LOST WORLD WAS ANNOUNCED- IT WAS A 3D ENVIRONMENT CLASSIC SONIC GAME.. BUT GUESS WHAT? INSTEAD, WE GET SUPER SONIC GALAXY! OK, YEAH, I’M SORRY.. I’M SORRY.. THAT. OK, I ACTUALLY LIKE SONIC LOST WORLD- I’M SORRY. I’M JUST GETTING WORKED UP, ‘CUZ OF YOU FRICKIN’ SONIC HATERS! HOLY FRICKIN FRICKS! I MEAN, THIS MAKES ME SO MAD! YOU FRICKIN’ FRICKS! JUST RUINED EVERYTHING! WITH YOUR FRICKIN ADVENTURE FANTASIES- YOUR FRICKIN FANTASIES (STARTS CRYING)

(CRYING CONTINUES. he keeps crying for like.. a solid minute..) YOU FRICKIN’ FRICKS.. RUINED EVERYTHING… YOU FRICKIN’— ADVENTURE.. FANTASIES… (SOBS) WE CAN’T GET A SONIC 2006 SEQUEL, YOU EEE-DIOTS! ‘CUZ THAT’S WHAT RUINED SONIC THE FIRST TIME.. (BREAKS DOWN SOBBING. GURGLES) YOU FRICKIN’ FRICKS! YOU GUYS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING! I HATE YOU FRICKIN’ TROLLS! FRIIIIIICKKK YOOOOOU!

please… sonic fans.. i beg of you. please, stop porting sonic adventure 3.. and support my idea… of a 3d platforming classic sonic game PLEASE. please.. please.. please, all sonic fans out there.. we can assemble.. and… heal sonic for good. WE DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN! TO THESE ADVENTURE- FANTASIZERS. THESE FRICKIN’ FAN FRICKS. WE DONT HAVE TO FRICKIN’ LSITEN TO THEM. PLEASE.. PLEASE SONIC FANS- WE [INAUDIBLE GURGLING] STOP SUPPORTING SONIC ADVENTURE 3- STOP! RUINING! SONIC! YOU FRICKIN’ FAN FRICKS RUINED SONIC [GURGLING SOME MORE]

FRICK! FRICK! OWW! FRICK! FRICK! FRICK. [LOUD YELLING] FRICK! THIS IS FRICKIN’ STUPID! UUURGHHH HGHUUURGH CURSE YOOOOOU CURSE YOU SONIC FANBASE.

I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.