- Job: Funny Business
Player Requirements: D-rank and above.
Job Requirements: Minimum of 5 posts of 150 words per character. Must include a minimum of 5 jokes which needs to be of good quality.
Job Location: Magnolia
Job Description: A stand in for a comedy act is required as their main star got sick and is unable to come in. That is where you come in, the nightclub has been having a constant stream of bad luck recently and this show is its last chance for it to gain some business again. Make customers laugh and save this business from collapse.
Reward: 500 Jewels
Katherine was putting on her best clothing for the occasion today, she always attempted to do so when it came to big gatherings. A dress that was both classy, but not intimidating to the masses. Last thing she wanted was people that were listening to her comedy act to treat her seriously. She straightened out her hair, applied some makeup to hide her sickly pale complexion and finished slipping on her clothing. After tonight, she would feel much healthier by feeding off the positive emotions of the audience. It was what her kind got their true power from. However Eclipse Soul was no longer giving her the appropriate feeding like it used to. It didn't help that she was never using her true magic in the first place, but that was in the past. She gave herself one turn around in front of a mirror and winked at the mirror. Katherine felt good with how she looked and thus pulled a purse over her shoulder. Leaving the hotel room that she reserved for herself, she went into the hotels cafe and ordered a tea to go. Despite being absolutely no sustenance in it, the taste was what mattered. It was a habit that Katherine had picked up over the Milleniums of visiting Earthland. Now it looked like until she recovered her spot in heaven, she was going to be stuck down on Earthland with the mortals. It mattered little though, in ways she preferred it down here. At least there was always new things to discover and the politics were low compared to the milleniums of the plots that the Gods made. Now tonight she was going to add comedy to her portfolio.
Katherine eventually got out, walked down the streets sipping her tea and threw the cup away before entering the night club. This was where she was meant to be! However coming up with an act last second would be hard and the audience was waiting for her to start. Claps came from the audience as Katherine sat on the wooden chair. Katherine grabbed the mike and said, "Hello everyone, my name is Katherine Wickfield: a Goddess and apparently comedian tonight. So you all hear about the debate whether Gods made the universe or this new fangle theory about what happened. I will now clarify what happened: The Gods spoke and BANG it happened!" The audience snickered slightly, the jokes needed to get better and quick. Katherine continued, "So the Gods made the world and first man named Adam and put him in a paradise known as the Garden of Eden. Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion.God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and she will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and she will freely give love and compassion whenever needed."Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg."Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" Katherine enjoyed the sounds of laughter that gave her strength to continue on with the act. She felt much better about herself and the paleness started to disappear. Katherine did not stop, she could not stop.
"Suddenly one of the Gods came to Adam Adam and said, "I've got some good news and some bad news." "Well, give me the good news first," Adam replied. "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have wonderful conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your new intelligent life form and populate this planet." Adam exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?""The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Katherine took a sip of water from the pitcher that was on the table provided for her comedy act. She was getting quite thirsty and throat slightly sore, but she had to finish it.
"So how has men done over the years? I millennium ago I had this event happen. There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, my Goddess will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No my Goddess will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked me, "Why didn't you save me?" I replied, "I sent you two boats!" Katherine continued, "And finally a man asked me, "How much is a penny worth in heaven?" I replied, "$1 million." He asked, "How long is a minute in heaven?" I said, "One million years." So he asks for a penny. I said, "Sure, in a minute. Thank you all and have a good night!"
With that Katherine grabbed her coat and left the bar. The roaring applause ringing in her ears put a smile on the Goddesses face. If they only knew that she was a real deal....