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    Requip: The Swordsman

    Ella Elwes
    Ella Elwes

    Player 
    Lineage : Pride of Mercenary
    Position : None
    Posts : 163
    Guild : Errings Rising
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 150
    Brownie Points : 1

    Character Sheet
    First Magic:
    Second Magic:
    Third Magic:

    Requip: The Swordsman Empty Requip: The Swordsman

    Post by Ella Elwes on 30th March 2020, 11:52 am

    Magic

    Magic Name: Requip: The Swordman
    Magic Type: Primary: Requip / Auxiliary: Caster
    Description: Requip is a magic that utilizes a pocket dimension that the user uses to store items in. When used they can quickly arm themselves with the items stored in the other dimension. One cannot put living creatures into the dimension, even willingly (though a sentient weapon would work). One also can put in items inside the dimension, keeping them at hands reach for later use. However, while this magic allows the user to do special tricks with their equipment, this magic does not give the user the ability to effectively wield the equipment. This is why this magic tend to be preferred by people who have a lot of practice with weapons. This magic is an offshoot from the Knight, but more centered around swords. Which is also why the majority of weapons she has stored tend to be swords. They're so obsessed with swords they actually turned their will into magic to be a better swordsman on their own, sometimes without even notice they're doing it until after they've done it.

    Lineage:
    Name: Warrior's Heart
    Ability: These descendants are known for courage and fighting prowess, along with making them immune to any fear or discouragement. Any weapon they wield adds 25% more overall damage to simulate their prowess on top of the increase the weapon already gives.
    Usage: Passive.

    Unique Abilities:

    • Ability 1: Master Swordsman The user has spend a great deal of time practicing with swords. Any non-magical attack made with sword deals more damage equal to the users burst damage. Note that this is not an increase of strength, the user does not become more physically stronger by merely wielding a sword. This ability reflects the skill of the user, rather than raw strength.
    • Ability 2:
    • Ability 3:


    D:
    Longsword:
    Name: Longsword
    Rank: D
    Requip Type: weapon
    Grade: Normal
    Linked Equipment: N/A
    Requip Damage: ((7*2.5) +basic ranked melee(30)+ranked burst(60))*warrior's heart(1.25)=134(134.375 rounded down)
    Requip Durability: N/A
    Range: melee
    Speed: N/A
    Duration: Until dispelled
    Downside: N/A
    Description: A mundane steel longsword one can find a plenty in just about any blacksmith or similar weapon store.

    Ability 1:

    Name: Mundane
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: 0
    Category: Passive
    Type: Utility
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: This weapon is so mundane the user can store a ton of them. They're not exactly powerful, and they don't have any other special abilities, but having a lot of ordinary swords can have it's uses. Although this ability does not allow the user to do anything special with them, and it also doesn't allow them to wield more than they can carry, at least without the use of further magic.

    Ability 2:

    Name: Blade Barrage
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: 18 MP
    Category: Active
    Type: Offensive
    Damage: weapon damage
    Range: 15 meters
    Speed: 15 meters per second
    Duration: instant
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The user takes up to three swords up with magic and tosses them at a target at the same time. This target can be the same for all swords or the caster can target individually with each sword.

    Breastplate:

    Name: Breastplate
    Rank: D
    Requip Type: Armor
    Grade: Normal
    Linked Equipment: N/A
    Requip Damage: N/A
    Requip Durability: 150 HP
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: A simple breastplate you could find in any blacksmith.

    Ability 1:

    Name: Steel Protection
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: N/A
    Category: Passive
    Type: Defensive
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: As long as the user is wearing the armor all physical damage is lowered by 40%.

    Ability 2:

    Name: Agile
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: Passive
    Category: Buff
    Type: Supportive
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The user isn't hampered as much as in most armors, getting them a 40% increase in speed.

    swordsman's headband:

    Name: swordsman's headband
    Rank: D
    Requip Type: Item
    Grade: Normal
    Linked Equipment: N/A
    Requip Damage: N/A
    Requip Durability: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: A magical headband that can be worn to get specific effects.

    Ability 1:

    Name: Swordsman's Resolve
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: N/A
    Category: Passive
    Type: Offensive
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The headband enhances the users strength with 40%

    Ability 2:

    Name: Swordsman's Vigor
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: N/A
    Category: Passive
    Type: Offensive
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The headband makes the user especially resolute. The user's endurance increases by 40% while wearing the headband, allowing them to get tired slower and keep fighting more.

    Magical Burst:

    Name: Magical Burst
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: 18 MP
    Category: Supportive
    Type: Active
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed: N/A
    Duration: 3 posts
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The user channels their magical power effectively. All magical spells do 40 extra Hit Point damage as long as this spell is activated. This spell can be activated along with another spell.



    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Unless stated otherwise: I always do my jobs by word count.
    Johann
    Johann

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    Lineage : Herald of Destruction
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    Age : 29
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    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Saga of War - Ragnarök
    Second Magic: Consecration of War - Einherjar
    Third Magic: Maledict of War - Berserkir

    Requip: The Swordsman Empty Re: Requip: The Swordsman

    Post by Johann on 4th April 2020, 4:02 pm

    Hello Ella, I'm Joh and I'll be grading your magic this time around. In case you don't know how this goes, you can ask any questions you might have in this thread if you need clarification and I will get back to you as soon as possible. When all requested edits have been made, simply give me a bump and I will review your magic once more. All of that said, you will find all of my edits in this color.

    As a note for you, you are currently using only 4 of your normal spell slots for this magic, meaning you can add 2 more spells of either D rank or C rank. You can also add 2 advanced spells, which can be either D+ rank or C+ rank, as well as a single signature spell, to this magic, should you so desire. If you, at current, do not wish to add any more spells to this magic feel free to ignore this note entirely.

    Spoiler:

    @Ella Elwes wrote:Magic

    Magic Name: Requip: The Swordman
    Magic Type: Primary: Requip / Auxiliary: Caster
    Description: Requip is a magic that utilizes a pocket dimension that the user uses to store items in. When used they can quickly arm themselves with the items stored in the other dimension. One cannot put living creatures into the dimension, even willingly (though a sentient weapon would work). One also can put in items inside the dimension, keeping them at hands reach for later use. However, while this magic allows the user to do special tricks with their equipment, this magic does not give the user the ability to effectively wield the equipment. This is why this magic tend to be preferred by people who have a lot of practice with weapons. This magic is an offshoot from the Knight, but more centered around swords. Which is also why the majority of weapons she has stored tend to be swords. They're so obsessed with swords they actually turned their will into magic to be a better swordsman on their own, sometimes without even notice they're doing it until after they've done it.

    Lineage:
    Name: Warrior's Heart (Warrior's Heart does not appear to be your lineage. For the last lineage roll you performed it seems you've chosen "Pride of a Mercenary", which is also the lineage linked in your profile. If I am missing something about this feel free to correct me, though otherwise, I must ask you to clarify this)
    Ability: These descendants are known for courage and fighting prowess, along with making them immune to any fear or discouragement. Any weapon they wield adds 25% more overall damage to simulate their prowess on top of the increase the weapon already gives.
    Usage: Passive.

    Unique Abilities:

    • Ability 1: Master Swordsman The user has spend a great deal of time practicing with swords. Any non-magical attack made with sword deals more damage equal to the users burst damage. Note that this is not an increase of strength, the user does not become more physically stronger by merely wielding a sword. This ability reflects the skill of the user, rather than raw strength. (This ability is the equivalent to a flat damage increase, which is not allowed. You cannot add base damage onto attacks, whether they be melee or spell. I must thus ask you to rework this into a regular buff or its own stand-alone attack)
    • Ability 2:
    • Ability 3:


    D:
    Longsword:
    Name: Longsword
    Rank: D
    Requip Type: weapon
    Grade: Normal
    Linked Equipment: N/A
    Requip Damage: ((7*2.5) +basic ranked melee(30)+ranked burst(60))*warrior's heart(1.25)=134(134.375 rounded down) (This value is decidedly too high and the damage for this requip is incorrectly labelled. Firstly, the 2.5x increase applies only to requips that include purchased equipment in the requip spell, which this spell does not. Secondly, requips, and all other spells, are meant to reflect base values only when detailed in any given magic, meaning you cannot add your melee damage, burst damage, or any buffs that might apply to this character to this damage as specified here. Subsequently, I must ask you to lower this number from 134 down to 7 HP, as 7 HP is the max damage a D rank requip can do using melee damage)
    Requip Durability: N/A
    Range: melee
    Speed: N/A (All requips must include values for both range and speed, meaning that I must ask you to include a value for this as well. This can be something along the lines of "Melee" or "Character Speed", if you so desire)
    Duration: Until dispelled (Duration must be specified in a number of posts. As this is a D rank requip, the duration it can stay active can be anything between 1 and 3 posts)
    Downside: N/A
    Description: A mundane steel longsword one can find a plenty in just about any blacksmith or similar weapon store.

    Ability 1:

    Name: Mundane
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: 0
    Category: Passive ("Passive" is not an applicable spell category. If this is a Passive ability, please change this to "Auxiliary")
    Type: Utility ("Utility" is not an applicable spell type. If this is a Passive ability, please change this to "Passive")
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: This weapon is so mundane the user can store a ton of them. They're not exactly powerful, and they don't have any other special abilities, but having a lot of ordinary swords can have it's uses. Although this ability does not allow the user to do anything special with them, and it also doesn't allow them to wield more than they can carry, at least without the use of further magic.

    Ability 2:

    Name: Blade Barrage
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: 18 MP (Abilities are meant to reflect unmodified base values, meaning I must ask you to change this to the original cost of a D rank spell/ability, which is 20 MP)
    Category: Active ("Active" is not an applicable spell category. If this is meant to be a damaging ability, please accordingly change this to "Offensive")
    Type: Offensive ("Offensive" is not an applicable spell type. Please change this to either Single Target, Multi Target, AoE, or Burst, depending on what this ability is meant to do)
    Damage: weapon damage (An ability cannot do weapon damage and must use the damage corresponding to a spell of both its rank and spell type as specified in the tables)
    Range: 15 meters
    Speed: 15 meters per second
    Duration: instant (Spell/Ability durations cannot be "instant" and must be specified in a given number of posts within the maximum durations for a D rank spell, i.e. a value between 1 and 3)
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The user takes up to three swords up with magic and tosses them at a target at the same time. This target can be the same for all swords or the caster can target individually with each sword.

    Breastplate:

    Name: Breastplate
    Rank: D
    Requip Type: Armor
    Grade: Normal
    Linked Equipment: N/A
    Requip Damage: N/A
    Requip Durability: 150 HP (The regular durability for a D rank requip armor is 60 HP, meaning I must ask you to lower this accordingly)
    Range: N/A (All requips must include values for both range and speed. This can be something along the lines of "Self" for this requip, if you so desire)
    Speed:  N/A (See edit above)
    Duration: N/A (Duration must be specified in a number of posts. As this is a D rank requip, the duration it can stay active can be anything between 1 and 3 posts)
    Downside: N/A
    Description: A simple breastplate you could find in any blacksmith.

    Ability 1:

    Name: Steel Protection
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: N/A
    Category: Passive ("Passive" is not an applicable spell category. If this is a Passive ability, please change this to "Auxiliary")
    Type: Defensive (Defensive is neither an applicable spell type, nor can it be paired with passive abilities or Auxiliary spells, as defensive spells are spells that create shields or barriers and possess a durability value of their own. If this is a passive ability, please change this to "Passive")
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: As long as the user is wearing the armor all physical damage is lowered by 40%. (Please clarify this ability a little more. From the way this is worded, this sounds like the user's Melee damage is actually lowered while this requip is active, while I am fairly certain that this is supposed to be a buff to physical damage reduction. I suggest rewording this ability accordingly, as otherwise it could be misinterpreted. Lastly, as this is a requip ability, you can increase this to 50%)

    Ability 2:

    Name: Agile
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: Passive
    Category: Buff ("Buff is not an applicable spell category. If this is a Passive ability, please change this to "Auxiliary")
    Type: Supportive (Supportive is neither an applicable spell type, nor can it be paired with passive abilities or Auxiliary spells, as supportive spells are spells that heal the user or another target for a given HP value. If this is a passive ability, please change this to "Passive")
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The user isn't hampered as much as in most armors, getting them a 40% increase in speed. (You can increase this to 50%)

    swordsman's headband:

    Name: swordsman's headband
    Rank: D
    Requip Type: Item
    Grade: Normal
    Linked Equipment: N/A
    Requip Damage: N/A
    Requip Durability: N/A
    Range: N/A (All requips must include values for both range and speed. This can be something along the lines of "Self" for this requip, if you so desire)
    Speed:  N/A (See edit above)
    Duration: N/A (Duration must be specified in a number of posts. As this is a D rank requip, the duration it can stay active can be anything between 1 and 3 posts)
    Downside: N/A
    Description: A magical headband that can be worn to get specific effects.

    Ability 1:

    Name: Swordsman's Resolve
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: N/A
    Category: Passive ("Passive" is not an applicable spell category. If this is a Passive ability, please change this to "Auxiliary")
    Type: Offensive (Offensive is neither an applicable spell type, nor can it be paired with passive abilities or Auxiliary spells, as offensive spells are spells that deal damage to one or multiple opponents directly. If this is a passive ability, please change this to "Passive")
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The headband enhances the users strength with 40% (You can increase this to 50%)

    Ability 2:

    Name: Swordsman's Vigor
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: N/A
    Category: Passive ("Passive" is not an applicable spell category. If this is a Passive ability, please change this to "Auxiliary")
    Type: Offensive (Offensive is neither an applicable spell type, nor can it be paired with passive abilities or Auxiliary spells, as offensive spells are spells that deal damage to one or multiple opponents directly. If this is a passive ability, please change this to "Passive")
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A
    Speed:  N/A
    Duration: N/A
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The headband makes the user especially resolute. The user's endurance increases by 40% while wearing the headband, allowing them to get tired slower and keep fighting more. ("Endurance" is not a stat here on FTRP. Please clarify which exact stat you are buffing with this ability. If this is an increase to HP, I must ask you to change this, as HP increases cannot be contained in active abilities or spells, which requip falls under)

    Magical Burst:

    Name: Magical Burst
    Rank: D
    MP Cost: 18 MP (Please change this to reflect the base MP cost of this spell, i.e. to 20 MP)
    Category: Supportive ("Supportive" Category spells are spells that heal. As this spell doesn't heal, I must ask you to change this accordingly)
    Type: Active ("Active" is not an applicable spell type. This must be changed to either Single Target, Multi Target, AoE, or Burst, depending on the spell)
    Damage: N/A
    Range: N/A (All spells must include a value for range and speed. This can be "Self" or "Melee" if you so desire)
    Speed: N/A (See above)
    Duration: 3 posts
    Downside: N/A
    Description: The user channels their magical power effectively. All magical spells do 40 extra Hit Point damage as long as this spell is activated. This spell can be activated along with another spell. (You may not use a spell to increase the base damage of other spells, as base increases of this kind are entirely disallowed outside of very specific circumstances. I must ask you to either rework this into a regular offensive spell that works on its own without adding any damage onto other spells, abilities, weapons, etc., or rework this into a regular stat increase or buff)


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Requip: The Swordsman Johannsiggies

      Current date/time is 15th July 2020, 10:11 am