The Neonate of Snow(Open)

A low growl resonated from the raccoon dog's throat before it changed to more of a faded whimper as the police came onto the scene, followed by Kakuma, the guildmaster. But what mostly fired deep bullets of regret were Magna's words. He was right- she had attacked without reason. And while in her blind rage, she had been unable to help it, it was still unacceptable. It only went to show how utterly weak she really was, at least mentally. And while surrounded by friends and family, she was incapable of taking the ice goddess lookalike out. If it really had been Yukionna, Izayuki was certain that everyone would have been dead, locked in an eternal freeze.

She pulled her silver ears back guiltily as Marschal went on about her needing to be reprimanded and Magna gave her his lecture. A lecture from a human, of all beings, and one younger than her at that... how embarrassing. It made her a sorry excuse for a yokai, not him for a mage. Shaking her head, Iza responded in a soft, hushed voice, still fighting the sleepiness. "Shush, you... it's my fault... don't you dare take punishment for what I do," she said, barely able to make out the words. Gazing at the wolf goddess guildmaster, Izayuki could only look down, unable to meet Kakuma's red eyes. She was no longer struggling to get out of the panther yokai's arms, but only faced the silver-haired and wolf-eared woman as only a lesser canine could- submissively. It was only natural, after all.

How could a mistake get her so deep in strife and guilt? And also that of others... had she not learned anything? "I'm sorry..."

As Kakuma's hard red gaze was firmly placed on the small tanuki, silver ears pulled back submissively and in slight apprehension. What would Kakuma do now? Expel her from the guild? Lock her up? In a way it was no more than she deserved, but Izayuki could not have known. The woman appeared to be an exact copy or replica of the goddess of ice, snow, and cold, Yukionna. However, upon seeing her now, the woman, Suzuran, was a lot more timid than stoic like the hellish mentor she had known. The thought of Yukionna still continue to strike fear into her very being. The nightmares that continue to persist over the last few moons became increasingly more realistic, and her despairing and rage that had been directed at Suzuran was something she had been unable to control. Instincts served as the enemy, in this case. And now, she would be rightly punished for it.

Head hanging low, Izayuki leaped out of Marschal's arms and trailed behind the angry wolflike guildmaster. She jumped, however, as Kakuma randomly punched a wall in anger, sending Suzuran running. The tiny raccoon dog was unable to do anything at that moment, but only shrink back, shaking slightly, pulling her ears back and avoiding the wolf goddess's red gaze. True submission from Iza for once... quite a rare thing. Her pride rarely allowed such a display. Yet right now in trouble and being in the wrong, she was at Kakuma's mercy... an omega in the presence of the alpha when it came to the canine mindset.

Izayuki had been waiting quietly in Kakuma's office. Indeed, the wait had been a rather cruel and unusual type of punishment all on its own. The dreading and anxiety the lengths of time brought were unexpected and harsh. The guildmaster had gone to chase down Suzuran after instructing Izayuki to stay put and wait. Giving a soft whimper, the raccoon dog could only leap up onto a chair and sit, curling her fluffy tail around her in anticipation. As each minute passed, a low whimper of anxiety would rise from her throat, despite her jaws being safely closed. Magna's sleeping spell was beginning to wear off. She had been able to resist it enough to not fall asleep, but it had still weakened her considerably in her unstable state.

In her turmoil and neverending mix of complex and confusing emotions, she was unable to bring herself to transform back into her human shape. This was the first Kakuma would have seen her as her true self. Part of her felt guilty that most of her own guild and family knew nothing about what she was- but that was exactly what was holding her back. Fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of change. Fear of abandonment.
But then again, what did all of that matter now? Would Kakuma hear her out, or what kind of punishment would be measured? She could only guess, and that very thing made the waiting time all the more dramatic and unnerving.

Barely visible to Kakuma by sitting in the chair across from the guildmaster, the small raccoon dog hauled herself up onto the table. It might be rude or uncivilized to humans, but Izayuki personally wanted to be able to look the wolf goddess in the eyes, and not be half-hidden under a desk. As she was ordered to put on the strange beaded necklace, the tanuki hesitantly eyed it and pawed at it a few times before finally obeying and nosing the human piece of jewelry on. She could feel the magic laced about it and the spell that Kakuma cast- whatever it was, it was made to restrict her ability to attack or hurt anyone, most likely. That, or bind her power completely. Either way, it did not matter. Izayuki, for once, was obligated to cooperate. She would calmly try to explain her side and her reasons...

The guilt was strong. Izayuki could now see that the girl was clearly not Yukionna, despite her outward appearance. But on first sight, she had been unable to control her raw instincts. Unlike humans she lacked the ability to constantly use logic and wisdom where needed. If something made her snap, the only thing she had was her yokai instincts to fight or fly. And in this case, it was to fight, to protect. She had honestly thought that her family and guild were in danger.
Giving a sigh, the tanuki met Kakuma's red eyes with her own light pink ones, ready to obey and explain herself. Despite meeting her eyes, the canine still kept her silver ears pinned back, still quite fearful and apprehensive.

"As you know, I'm the Glacier God Slayer... meaning that I was adopted and trained by the Goddess of Ice and Cold herself, Yukionna, sometimes also called Skadi. But... she was no mother or mentor to me- she was a beast..." Izayuki first explained, attempting to keep her voice from shaking. A small snarl was laced on her muzzle as she first spoke of the goddess, her head and gaze suddenly moving down to the desk. With her Bakedanuki ability, she allowed a small illusion to form behind her that would be visible to both Kakuma and Suzuran. The figure was harmless, but the tanuki dared not look back at it.
It was a shadow of Yukionna- who appeared strikingly like Suzuran. Lavender-white hair and eyes, only the goddess had long hair, worn down, and was dressed in a light kimono.

Taking a deep breath, Izayuki composed herself and gazed first at Suzuran, then back at Kakuma. "Yukionna literally 'froze' my free will many times, forced me to commit genocide in nearby villages, tortured me, raped me, and attempted to completely corrupt and use me... I thought Suzuran was her when she entered the guildhall.... I couldn't let her hurt my family..."

There. The truth was out, and once again the small tanuki was gazing down at her paws, shaking slightly. She wrapped her fluffy tail around herself for comfort, but could not help but feel the wet tears beginning to fall while the Yukionna illusions began to vanish. Even after all the years that had gone by, she still was unable to resist the bitter emotions that came with talk and mention of Yukionna. From that moment, Izayuki avoided the gaze of both the guildmaster and the one she had attacked. She was ashamed- her main sin had been confessed, and the main bane of her existence brought to life. But how would Kakuma receive it? They were some of the first to truly know, but it would be hit or miss as to if they actually understood. The only other ones she had told were Felicia, Azalea, and she had dropped hints to Elyx. But who else? Nobody. Nobody knew her history or where she came from, and for a while, that was for the better. But today, she had to go and lose it. Quite possibly, she would lose everything.

"I won't deny that I am in the wrong..." the small canine said softly, trailing off for a few moments before continuing, hoping her interruption would not be perceived as anything abrasively rude. "Past does not matter here, yes, but when someone who I know as a monster- or so I think- appears, what is one who relies on raw instinct more than logic to do? I feared for my life and my guild, so I attacked...
I know it was wrong... I should have waited... I can't justify what I've done beyond what I already have so..."

A deep breathe. She could own up for her error and take responsibility.
Izayuki felt Suzuran's hand suddenly on her back. The girl, for one reason or another, seemed strangely cold physically. Her hand- it did not possess any familiar human warmth. How interesting. Still, was that forgiveness or comfort the woman was offering? It was hard to tell. Taking a few steps back and leaping from the desk to the chair, the silver-furred tanuki shifted back into the form of a human- almost. She still had silver canine ears atop her pink hair, and a large fluffy tanuki tail that was silver in color, not to mention longer canine teeth and pale claws replacing fingernails.

"I'm sorry... forgive me..."
Her hands trembled slightly as she placed them on her lap. She had sincerely thought that both she and the others were in danger. Come to find they were not, relief and knowledge that Suzuran was indeed not Yukionna was satisfaction enough. But how could she get them to see it without her words seeming like blatant, pathetic excuses? "Punish me however you see fit... just... please... just...."

Izayuki was unable to continue as she felt her words getting choked up and tears once again forming in her pink human eyes. In her mind, however, the plea was completed- insecurity at its best. Please don't hate me...