the need to trust~ [Johann]

The bacon sandwich was just what she needed, she worked her way through hers quickly. She really needed it, having not eaten much at all the day before. Then to spend the night in such a way, she was practically light-headed by the time she got to it. her stomach almost started to ache just as she'd dug into the breakfast. The man accepted her offer of coffee, following which she quickly poured him a mug. It wasn't that she didn't have other drinks that she could've offered. But even with the sleep-in and the refreshing shower, she still felt pretty tired. Most likely because they had been up until the early hours of the morning and her body had certain been worked to it's fullest. The caffeine was a much-needed luxury right now. She finished her sandwich, she was about to grab another when he spoke. His words a little sheepish, as he brought to her a rather important question. She froze as she heard it, lowering her hand back to the coffee much. She glanced down at her drink, So they were already getting into it. She had expected it, although she had been anxious for the conversation itself. Not sure who would be the first to bring it up, guess Johann had decided to take the leap.

"Honestly, I don't know..." She said earnestly, staring down at the coffee for a moment before looking up at him her icy blue eyes meeting his. She hadn't thought this far ahead, all she had really known was that she wanted him. A chance to see how they would be together, and it had been, pretty spectacular. Did she want that to be it? No, not really. But what could she really say? In all honesty, this 'part' of it was something that Amalie had never had to deal with. It had always been pretty clearcut, and when it had come to Wyatt, he had pretty much called the shots. This was different, it was much more complicated. She sighed, raising her gaze to meet his, she offered him a soft smile before speaking once more. "I think it might be too soon to tell." She turned to the counter and placed her coffee down.

"I think we'll just have to wait and see. Things are going to change for both of us soon, I guess we'll work out where we stand when the dust has settled." She said, hoping this was enough of an answer to suffice. It wasn't that she wasn't curious about the notion, to see if they were compatible might be interesting. They certainly worked well in some areas as they had discovered last night and this morning. But these sort of situations certainly complicated things, or at least that was what she suspected. She'd never actually been in this sort of situation before so based on her experience she was clueless. She could only speculate and hope that however it turned out, it was smooth. She enjoyed the relationship she had with Johann, she had found trust and perhaps a little security in his offering of friendship. The last thing she wanted was to ruin it.

But still, there was the issue she couldn't deny. She knew herself well enough to know that it wouldn't be easy to suppress such urges in the future. If anything, it was going to be harder to be professional around him, now that she had had a taste, she would undoubtedly want it again. There would undoubtedly be times where she would crave a repeat of what had happened between them. In which case, she would simply have to exert as much self-control as she could. Because if she was going to prove to him that she was serious about joining his guild and supporting him in such a way. She needed to show him she was serious, and so she would have to put a lock on such needs. At least for now, maybe when the dust settled, things might be different. If he still wanted it. But there was also the possibility he would lose interest, which would be a fairly disappointing outcome. Not that there was anything she could do if he did, she had no claim on the man. If he chose to leave this as nothing but a pleasant memory for them both, then that would be it. It was a bitter pill, but she would swallow it regardless. Guess I'll know soon enough. She thought to herself, watching the man to see how he would react to her suggestion.



WC: 766
Amalie's Total: 11,444
Overall Total: 21,599

Time had certainly flown by since that night, there had been an array of events, along with with many more complications that Amalie hadn't anticipated. It was almost as if moving to Dies Irae was a warning for her, to move out of Tolgalen as quickly as possible. Because it wasn't long after that exciting night with the God of Ishgar. That she had been attacked by Seamus, an old acquaintance from her days as Wyatt's wife. Seamus had managed to track her down someone, and nearly gotten the best of her. Something that had only occurred due to Anima's interference. As a result, she had been forced to kill him. The only way she could avoid being defiled by him, before being dragged back to Charles for her ultimate punishment, something likely even worse than what Seamus had intended. She had moved to Amber Island quickly after that, settling in following the grand opening of Dies Irae. It had been a rather pleasant experience itself, being reunited with Sivvy and Johann all the while anticipating a fresh start. It had left her hopeful.

But alas, this wasn't to be. The effects of being the vessel to a seal grew worse as the time when by. The bouts of nausea and sickness getting to her more and more frequently with even more infringing results, even resulting in her failure while out on a job. The woman was drinking way too much; as a means to suppress the being. But even she knew this wasn't a lasting solution. She couldn't stay drunk forever; it wasn't the life she'd aspired for herself. Despite promising Johann that she would reconsider her options carefully, it had finally come to this. She couldn't put it off anymore, and there simply was no alternative. At least, not one that she could see. She needed Mars to tears the Seal from her body once and for all.

She was wearing her uniform as she made her way through the guild. Her red heels clicking loudly against the floor, her face void of emotion as she made her way towards the Ambassador's offices. Even though in truth, she was actually pretty nervous. She knew full well that today might be her last day of existence. Death was exactly an easy thing to come to term with, but she had thought about it long and hard, if today were her last day then at least Charles wouldn't have the satisfaction of mutilating her first. She reached the door, stopping there for a moment; it had been quite some times since she had spoken to Johann alone. That night had been wonderful and although they had agreed promised to see where they were when the dust had settled. There hadn't really been much time for it, had the dust settled yet? She wasn't really sure. It wasn't as though she hadn't thought about it; in fact, she had thought about it along. That night lingered in her mind frequently. But how was she supposed to address such a thing with a man who was now her boss? Although today that didn't matter, because she wasn't here for that. In fact, it dawned on her, that after today, it might not matter at all.

She took a slow breath to calm herself, before reaching up and knocking on the door twice. She reached for the handle, and turned it open, peering inside. Her ice blue eyes would land on him, sitting at his desk with a puppy on his lap. Her eyes would soften slightly. A small smile crept onto her lips. "Now that's a wholesome sight." She commented in an amused tone, before shutting the door behind her. The smile faded from her lips as she brought herself back to why she was here. She wasn't here to be social; she needed to remember that, she was about to ask him for something she knew he wasn't keen on. She just hoped that he wouldn't deny her request because she really didn't want to continue existing this way. She would raise her gaze to his face, before asking, "Johann, could I have a word?"


WC: 696
Amalie's Total: 12,140
Overall Total: 23,038

Amalie pressed the door shut behind her, moving further into the room. She would kneel down at the puppy's approach. At first offering the dog her hand to sniff, before gently scratching her behind the ear. She stood up once more, addressing Johann with her question. To which he obliged before offering her a drink, she shook her head at him. "No, thank you. I'm quite alright." She would move towards the chair opposite him, sitting down, she slid one leg over the other. Placing her hands on her lap, fingers intertwined tightly, the woman was somewhat nervous, although she was trying hard not to show it. She took a breathe, preparing herself. Here goes nothing. She thought, before parting her lips to speak.

"You might remember, a few months ago, when you came to visit me. We had a conversation about my state of being in relation to Anima." She would pause for a moment, considering her words carefully. He could very well reject her request, even if he had promised to help. So needed to convince him. "And you may have noticed that there has been little improvement in my situation. If anything... Anima's effect on me has worsened to grande proportions."

Amalie, please...

She closed her eyes sharply, her fingers squeezing a little tighter, to the point where her knuckles were turning white. She hadn't drunk today, purely for the sake of not wanting to intervene with the procedure. Which meant the seal was completely present and well aware of what she planned to do. She reopened her eyes as she continued, "Not long before I came to Dies Irae, following our conversation. I was walking through the streets of Tolgalen, and I was attacked. It was one of the men who worked for my brother-in-law. I initially intended to fight him off and subdue him but thanks to... Anima's interference. He bested me, and as a result, sought it upon himself to stake a claim on my body." She cast her eyes down towards her hands, remembering that night. The fear she'd felt as he'd pinned her down, it was a fear she hadn't felt before. Even with her numbed heart, she felt it, ripping her to her core. She continued, not raising her gaze just yet, "I managed to stop him before he could, but barely. I had no choice but to kill him."

She loosened the grip on her fingers slightly, sighing, it was getting easier to speak now that she'd already started. There was a momentum building in her words and she truly felt that there was no going back at this point. "Anima's existence inside of me is nothing but a hindrance, I am forced to drink just to suppress his influence and as a result, I cannot move forward or be of any use to myself or the Guild I've pledged myself to. I honestly believe if things continue this way at the rate in which they're progressing," She rose her gaze to the man across from her. "I'll likely end up dead before the year is up." She would lean forward in her seat, uncrossing her legs, she separated her hands, resting her palms against the edge of her seat. She looked across to the man with an imploring need for help. "So I'm asking you Johann, Mars, both of you. Please tear Anima from my body once and for all."

---

Amalie appreciated the quiet as she spoke, making it easier to get through the request without having to deal with any interruptions that might've thrown her off. It had been hard enough to get through as it was. He only spoke once she'd mentioned the incident with Seamus. He began to say something but seemed to stop himself, only to them go on and apologise. She shook her head, she saw no need for the apology, this wasn't his fault after all. Seamus being after her in the first place was simply a consequence of her past. She had chosen to be with Wyatt, to marry him, to accept his family and their ways. She had been the one to kill him and make a powerful enemy that would not rest to avenge their fallen brother. In a sense it was her own fault, even she had come to terms with that truth. She didn't say anything to her sympathy but continued with her request.

When she had reached the point during which she asked him, her eyes would watch his as he responded. She looked on as he closed his eyes, leaning back in his seat as though pondering the situation. Her own mind racing also, but with wonderings on how he would react. He could deny her, tell her it was a waste of his times and resources. After all, he was an ambassador now, with much more important affairs to deal with. Also, there was the risk of her death, although the woman wasn't entirely sure whether or not her life was any value to him. He had called her his 'friend', and they had spent that one night together, but there hadn't been anything since. It might not be that hard for him to move on if she did die after all that was she really to him. They hadn't made a decision then, and now the only thing connecting them anymore was the guild and a few fond memories. Perhaps, a small, selfish part of her wanted him to care, maybe just a little.

However, in spite of this, Amalie also knew that if he were to deny her for such a reason then, the woman would surely find herself in limbo. To spare her life because he cared, only for her to potential die in the near future anyway. Should she find herself in a dangerous situation, the alternative was to retire as a mage and find a tame, normal, yet ultimately safe job. It was a fate she abhorred. Amalie had long since made the decision that she fully intended to aspire to be something, now that she'd found magic and learned she was actually good at it. She wanted nothing more than to progress in her field. Subjecting herself to a life of misery just to stay alive; it just didn't seem worth it. He spoke, pulling her back into that moment. She waited anxiously, holding her breath slightly until finally, he sighed. Uttering those three words that would ultimately decide her fate.

She took a breath, the grip of her palms against the seat easing off a touch. It was an odd mixture of emotions, relief that he would help, the concern that her life might not mean as much to him as she'd hoped, and also the niggling fear that began to build. The moment would be shortlived as Mars suddenly spoke, suddenly refusing her request. She straightened slightly, taken back by the moment. She parted her lips to protest, only to hear Johann speak. She paused, what could she say, how could she convince him to do this. There was a moment before he spoke again, agreeing to the request once and for all. She nodded her expression one of earnest gratitude.

"Thank you." Her tone was light, not much louder than a whisper.  He would explain to her the requirements. She glanced down, taking a moment to think, a magical item she could use as a container, she didn't own much to choose from. Having gotten rid of most of her possessions when she ran away from home. Everything she owned she had purchased since, and for the most part it was just household items with no magical properties. As she looked at him, a memory came to mind, an item that had appeared to her, one that Johann had helped train her to use. Celeste. "I have something we can use...and as for the place. I guess the Training grounds would be as good as any." It was close enough that they wouldn't have to go far, now that it was agreed upon. To Amalie, the sooner they got on with it the better. She stood up suddenly, meeting his gaze. Her tone was a little more resilient now, having come to terms with how her fate had been decided.  "I'll meet you there shortly. I'll just go grab the... container." She said, moving out of his room before she could change her mind. She quickly set down the hall towards her own room. Her heels clicking once more as she made her way there with haste.

Amalie... Mars was right. This is foolish, you have no idea the consequence that removing me will have. There's so much I haven't told you and if only you would listen, we could come to an underst-

Her own thoughts would cut off the seal as she sought to silence his protests. There is nothing you can say that will change my mind. There is no room for understanding Anima. You chose to use my body for your own purpose, without my knowing. I did not agree to be your vessel and I'm not going to subject myself to some meagre existence just so you can have a nice little nest for yourself. She would enter her living quarters, striding through her front room. She would move over the mantlepiece, towards the stand on which Celeste would rest. She reached up and plucked the rapier from the stand, and turned back towards the exit. I know you didn't ask for this, I'm sorry this happened. I wish I wasn't such a bane on you, but we could work together, it would be easy. You need only accept me, Amalie. She shut the door to her room sharply. Moving down the hall, she made her way to the training grounds. This is no accepting you Anima. She told him, her voice echoing the finality of her tone. When she got there, she would look for Johann, approaching him swiftly, and offering him Celeste. She would look at him with a determination that would do it's utmost to mask that fear that was beginning to dwell inside her. The fear that in a matter of moments, she could be dead.

"I'm ready."

---

Amalie’s steps slowed as she reached the training grounds, treading lightly against the dirt beneath her, and steadily moving towards where Johann was standing in what appeared to be a circle of ruins engraved into the ground. Once she reached him, she extended Celeste before him, hoping that this would be satisfactory for a 'container'. She didn't really have anything else she could offer him. Still, he would take the sword from her; it seemed to satisfy the need for a container as she watched him work his magic. Even though she had asked him to do this, it hadn't truly felt real until this morning. The lingering fear within her grew stronger, the knowledge that she could be dead in a matter of minutes. It was strange to think; she hadn't felt this scared for a long time. Not since Wyatt's death. Upon his command, she would step into the centre of the circle, placing her hands by her sides. She clenched her fists tightly, trying to contain herself from succumbing to the anxious feeling dwelling inside of her.

Amalie, please, I’m begging you, don’t do this.

His voice was more desperate now; perhaps it had also dawned on the seal how real this was becoming, now that she was standing in the magic circle Johann had prepared. Her face was blank as she attempted to hold her resolve. The Seal began to writhe within her, as though attempting to stop her. She could feel his resistance rising as he struggled desperately to take control of her body. But this time she was prepared. With all her will, she held him back. It wasn’t easy, the nausea was creeping back through her, and she was beginning to feel faint once more. Anima, please, stop fighting. She thought, hoping he would make this easier and heed her wishes.

No, Amalie, I can’t let you do this, I won’t.

Her body would tremble slightly as she worked hard to restrain the seal; she knew that he was trying to control her speech. To call out to Mars, to tell him to stop this foolishness. But as Johann asked that final question, pointing the tip of Celeste towards her, she would meet his gaze with a steely determination. She wanted to say something to him, in case it all went wrong, and this would be the last time she ever spoke to him. To thank him for everything he'd ever done and to say that no matter what happened, she would never choose to blame him for it. But doubt seeped in; she didn’t want to say anything that may change the man’s mind. Not at this point, no, it was better off leaving it unsaid.  she parted her lips, answering his question.

AMALIE, NO! STOP!

“Please…Remove the seal.”

Her voice was slightly strained, but her tone remained firm, which was enough confirmation for him to activate the spell. The magic circle beneath her would begin to flare up with white light. Amalie’s eyed the magical light as it would begin to bind her in place. Her heart racing as she found herself unable to move. As the magic circle appeared at the end of the sword, and Mars would make his presence known from the discolouration of Johann’s eye. And the removal of the fifth seal would begin.

Amalie’s mouth part slightly, her eyes would widen as her body began to ripple with agonising pain. It was unlike any pain she'd ever felt before; she felt like her entire body was being crushed by the immense magical pressure that surrounded her. She wanted to scream, to cry, to beg him to stop but no sound left her lips. She couldn’t make a sound. Instead, she would stand there, enduring the unbearable sensations that transgressed through her being. She felt like she was being ripped apart from the inside out, almost like someone had taken hold of her heart and was trying to tear it from her body forcibly. It may have only been a few moments, but the pain dragged on for what felt like a lifetime.

Then it seemed, Johann had found what it was he was looking for, as Amalie’s endured one final tearing sensation, and the pain would worsen to unimaginable levels. As though her very soul was being ripped into two, her body would shake as slowly, but surely the seal was pulled out of her. The light would fade from around her, and she would stand there, panting heavily as the pain faded away. Her eyes would close, as she took a moment to collect herself. Her breath slowed, and she suddenly felt very fatigued. She heard his voice, calling her name, and a weak smile would creep onto her lips. Her ice-blue eyes would open, as she looked at him. “Johann, I-“ She stopped speaking, blinking slowly, as realisation dawned on her.

Johann wasn’t standing there anymore.

In his place stood a man in his thirties, with dark brown hair, swept back with a layer of gel and eyes as black as night. He had tanned skin, and his chin was coated in a thin layer of stubble. He was wearing a familiar black biker jacket and jeans. The man wore a devilish grin, as he looked back at her with a playful stare.

“Hey Baby, long time no see.”

To Johann, he would watch as her face contorted into one of true terror, she would stumble back suddenly, tripping over her own feet as she did so, only to land firmly on the ground.  She would speak towards the god of Ishgar, but her gaze would not meet him, almost as though she was looking at someone else. “No.” She whispered breathily, crawling away from the man as quickly as she could. “You’re not real, y-you can’t be. You died.”

“That I did baby, all thanks to you.” His voice was as a husky and deep as she remembered it. He would cock his head at her, his hands stuffed into the pocket of his jeans. Wyatt would walk over to her, crouching in front of her casually. “Gotta say, didn’t expect you to actually kill me Ams, pretty harsh don’t ya think”

She shook her head incredulously, as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She forgot for a moment that he wasn't real, only to answer him honestly. “I had to, You were killing me, Wyatt. I was dying!”


“I was just giving you some tough love, I would’ve stopped, and you know it. But you just had to take it one step further; you were always selfish like that." She shook her head Racking her mind as she tried to make sense of what was happening. This couldn’t be happening, Wyatt was dead, long dead. She had killed him; she had watched the life drain from his eyes after her glass had sliced him to pieces. Yet, he here was kneeling in front of her, and he looked very much alive. Amalie could hear a ringing in the distance; it began to grow louder as she spoke. "What do you want?”

“I want you to acknowledge what you are Ams, what you’ve been in denial of since the day you killed me.” His devilish grin would fade, and his expression would grow cold, and serious. It was the same look he had worn before he beat her, all those years ago. She would shudder at the sight of it, a reflex she had thought she had gotten over. “And what’s that?” She whispered back to him; she didn't want to hear the answer. But maybe, she could stop this if she heard it.

“A good for nothing whore and a murderer.”

The ringing would grow louder; all the while she shook her head. “I-I can’t,” She answered weakly. Even in death she couldn't help but feel scared of him. She knew he wasn’t real, but even crouching there in front of her, he was as imposing as ever. His ability to instil fear in her was as overwhelming as it had been back then. Once again, she felt like the weak little housewife, who couldn't stop her husbands from laying his heavy hand on her whenever he saw fit. She closed her eyes and shook her head. This wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. It was at this point. A devastating thought slipped into her mind.

Unless I did die after all…

Tears would begin to stream down her cheeks,  as she began to sob at the thought. Maybe removing the seal had killed her and this was the afterlife. Her eternal damnation. “Oooh that wouldn’t that be interestin’ huh Ams? Spending eternity down here with me, I would enjoy that, if you thought living was hell, imagine what I could do to you know, for the rest of eternity.” She said nothing, she only sobbed, unable to contain herself. “Please, no, this can’t be happening.” The ringing would grow even louder; only it was layered know. It sounded like voices, lots of different voices all talking at once, stacked on top of each other.


Amalie opened her eyes, looking back at Wyatt, she let out a sudden scream as she realised he was now leaning directly over her. And this time, he had several broken shards embedded in his body, the wounds pouring with blood. Everywhere, his chest, his neck, one had even torn into his left eye socket. She would watch as the blood dripped onto her uniform, although in reality, nothing was there. “Ain’t I pretty sweetheart, A fuckin’ masterpiece you might say, your masterpiece. Look at me Amalie; you did this!” He snarled the last part angrily, his mutilated face only a few inches from hers, she winced at the sight, shaking her head furiously, and trembling as she wept. The voices were growing more incessant, making it hard for her to focus. She could feel her sanity slipped away, her body suddenly overflowing with emotion. As though every trauma, all the sadness, all the anger, every negative emotion she had ever held back. Was washing over her and drowning her in an endless wave of emotions, she felt like she was suffocating under it.

And moment by moment, it was breaking her.

Of course, Johann would see nor hear any of this. He would see only a deranged woman, crying and talking to herself. Mumbling incoherently, and whimpering. Suddenly, A voice would ring out, loud and clear, as though echoing through the surrounding area, it was soft, silky, and distinctly male. “You see what happens when you humans dabble with fate!” He hissed angrily, “Mars, brother, please, you must rectify this.” The Seal of Souls would pause, his voice a little softer as he continued.

“You see, Amalie’s mind has always been under my care. Her life has been an endless series of hardships. She had suffered relentlessly at the hands of her fellow human, and as a result, I took it upon myself to protect her mind. I placed binds on her soul, dulling these merciless emotions you humans are so vulnerable to; Sadness, Fear, Guilt, Anger, Hate. There were all numbed by my magic, and now what you are witnessing. Is each and every one of these emotions, escalating over her entire lifespan, flooding her mind at once.”

Amalie could not hear Anima’s words; everything was being drowned out by the voices, Wyatt’s hissing hateful words angrily to her. She moved onto her knees, weeping into her hands. Her heart felt like it was breaking, over and over again. It was a sadness; she had never known before, coupled with dread and rage. Her mind was sinking into an endless pit of darkness, and no matter what she tried she couldn't claw her way out. Anima would speak once more, a sense of desperation in the seal's voice now, as once again he addressed Mars directly.

“Brother, I beg you, please, return me to her at once.”

---

"Please..." Amalie would whimper weakly.


"No more...please...stop..." She pleaded, her voice laced with defeat. The voices had begun overbearing her now, she could barely focus on anything, as the endless stream of hateful words rattling through her mind. Each one accompanied by the stinging lash of the emotional pain she should have felt when she heard it. Over and over again, an endless assault of emotional pain, searing through her heart, torturing her. No matter how much she tried to fight, it would continue to drag her down into a pit of sorrow she could bounce back from. No matter how she tried, the emotions would not fade. Instead, they burrowed themselves deeper, tearing her apart as they did so. The crack of thunder could be heard above them, followed moments later by the bright flash of lightning across the sky.

“Awful isn't it baby? This is your truth Amalie, you have always been weak. You just didn't know it until now.” She shook her head, her face still buried in her hands as she wept relentlessly. "I can't take it... I need it to stop...please..." She begged him, it seemed futile. Asking the man she had put to death to help her, but she had no choice, she couldn't see any other way to make it stop. The pain washing over her, it felt like her sanity was being chipped away with each passing moments. Meanwhile, she remained oblivious to the struggle that was occurring right in front of her as Mars and Johann fought over what action to take. Anima's force grew more frustrated.

“You have to do this! For Amalie's sake, she cannot exist as she is now. Look at her!"

All the while a voice broke through to Amalie, a new voice amongst the others, much more familiar and much more impactful.


Amalie's sobs grew more erratic, panic rising within her at the female voice as it addressed her. The familiarity of the moment sinking in, she didn't want to repeat this. Not again. "No...please."

"Stop...STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!"


Amalie threw her head back, letting out an agonized cry as another wave of despair washed over her. Her hands moving to the side of her head, fisting her hair roughly as though attempting to stop her mind from falling apart. The darkened skies above seemed to echo the woman's pain, as the rain began to fall from the sky, softly at first before growing more intense. Anima's voice would ring out once more, "Can you not see what this is doing to her? This agony will not stop, not until I return to her where I can lock away all the tainted memories that have been unleashed." He continued to plead, trying to get through to the God of Ishgar.

"You can stop this Ams..." Amalie's eyes had been drawn shut, a desperate attempt to block out everything that she was seeing. However, slowly she would open them, the ice-blue eyes reflecting her immense sadness. She lowed her face as she looked upon the mutilated body of her late husband once more. "H-How?" She asked weakly. She wanted this to stop, she needed this to stop. She couldn't take anymore, the pain was too unbearable.

"You know how Amalie, you can stop this, you need only say the word." She watched as he brought a hand up, gently stroking the edge of one of the broken pieces of glass embedding into his skull. Her eyes widened as realisation dawned, the answer he was offering her. "No..I can't... I can't do that..." Fresh tears brimmed her eyes, she tried to brush them away, but they did not cease.

"Yes you can, you can end it all sweetheart, it'd be so quick. A little pain and then ...peace. You would finally be free, from all of it. The pain would be over, you would never have to hurt again.  Doesn't that sound nice?"

It did sound nice.

She wanted nothing more than for it to stop, to be over. If she didn't, she didn't know how long she would be stuck like this. It had felt like forever had passed, and who knew how much longer it would go on. It would mean giving up so much but... like this, she'd already lost those things anyway. The tears began to slow, her body would stop trembling and she began to calm slightly. She took a moment to collect herself, trying to endure the voices for a moment, as she made her decision. She couldn't just do this though, not like this, she needed to speak to that person, to see them before she did. She cleared her throat before speaking once more.

"Is he still here?" She would ask trying to sound a little firmer than before as she met the dead man's gaze. Wyatt's undamaged eye would narrow at her, there was a pause before he nodded. "Then let me see him...once more." Wyatt scowled at her angrily, but she held his gaze, even if he looked at her with the same unforgiving eyes he used to bear when he would punish her.

"Fine."

The voices would dull slightly, still lingering in the background, but not much louder than a distant humming sound. Wyatt would vanish from her sight, and her eyes would once again fall on Johann. Standing before her with an expression of concern and sorrow. She breathed with relief at the sight of him, "Johann..." She whispered, climbing her to her feet, and moving towards him. She would manoeuvre around the sword, closing the distance between them. She hooked her arms under his, and embraced him tightly, burying her face in his chest for just a moment as she savoured the warmth of his body, relishing in the relief that it was really him. She looked up at him, smiling softly, despite the sadness that lingered in her eyes. Pushing up onto her tiptoes, closing her eyes, she would bring her lips to his. Offering him a soft kiss, different than before, it wasn't hungry with need or want. But softer, more affectionate. She pulled her arms out from around him, bringing them up and to cup to his face. She pulled away from the kiss, pressing her forehead against his, she would stroke the line of his jaw with her thumb. Opening her eyes to meet his, she gazes at him softly, "Forgive me, Johann." She whispered to him, letting go of his face, she would take a few steps back, recreating the distance between them.

"Take care of Sivvy for me okay?" Her voice would crack as she said this, her heart aching even more as she realised she would never get to say goodbye to the rose-haired girl that had somehow become so integrated into her life. Anima, it seemed had realised the woman's intentions and spoke up in a desperate attempt to stop her.

"Amalie, stop, you don't have to do this. There's another way!" He called to her, hoping he would catch her attention enough for her to listen. The sound of his voice would throw her for a moment. Causing her to hesitate, looking momentarily confused. However, it was at this point that the hum of the voices would begin to grow a little louder and a new wave of sorrow washed through her, cementing in her mind that this was her only choice.

"Shards."

The air would ripple with shards of glass, they would hover around her, droplets of raining bouncing off the glass as the downpour continued. One by one the shards of glass would turn their sharpest edge inwards towards the woman. Looming over her, all the while she would look at Johann. Meeting his gaze, she took a shaky breath, before addressing him one last time.

"Goodbye, Johann Von Weiss."

With a flick of her wrist, the glass would fly, soaring towards her to offer her a quick, forgiving death.

---

The voices were thunderous now, almost like screams ringing in her ears. She could no longer make out what they were saying, it just sounded like an endless roar. She was tempted to close her eyes, but she didn't. Instead, she held his gaze, looking at Johann with a solemn expression, as she came to terms with her fate. This was it, the end of Amalie.

She would die and her story would end.

Upon her command, the shards flew towards her, broken glass soaring at her speedily with lethal intent. Then in a moment too fast for her eyes to follow, Johann moved, darting forward, she felt an excruciating pain erupt in her chest. Her eyes grew wide, her lips parting slightly as her own sword tore through her flesh, carving its way into her body and running her through completely. The magic circle beneath them lit up once more, and the agonizing pain rippled through her once again. The pain in her chest, like heat, it would spread through her body. As though a poison was seeping through her, attacking every nerve and fibre of her being. As the Fifth Seal of the Apocalypse reattached itself to her. The screaming voices had begun to roar in protest, she felt her emotions whirling around chaotic as though attempting to take over completely before the Nephilim could get to them, her body trembling under the emotional and physical pain she was enduring. The combination of the two was crushing, so immense the woman would wish for death over and over again.

Despite these words, she would hear him, Johann asking her forgiveness. Then he was gone, in the flash, she had been forced away from him. The shock of it would cause her to stumble, her pained body giving in as she fell to her knees. Enraptured in the throes of hurt she was enduring. Finally, there was an increase in pressure causing the woman to let out a guttural cry. Anima had found her soul and was currently securely bonding himself to it once more.

And then just like that, there was silence.

The voices had stopped, the pain disappeared. And there was an eerie ...peace in her mind. As though every emotion she was feeling had been shoved inside a box as locked away, the lid slammed shut by Anima. She kneeled there, panting heavily, shaky from the exertion of what had just happened. Her hands would move on their own, manipulated by the newly embedded seal, he would control her movements for a moment, as they reached up. Grabbing the sword's blade, she would pull firmly, the edges of the blade cutting her hands. Gritting her teeth, and attempting to suppress a scream as she pulled the rapier out of her chest. Surely, this would kill her, under normal circumstances. But as the blade left her body, the wound would begin to heal. And in the centre of her chest, where the sword had been embedded inside her, an emblem would appear, glowing brightly for a moment before fading to black. The marking would appear, almost like a tattoo. The mark was like a 'V' which short lines crossing the top of each stem and a slight dash of either side. The blade would fall to the floor, and her arms would drop once more. Amalie swayed slightly, leaning forward she would rest her hands on the muddy floor of the stadium to steady herself. Taking a moment to breathe, before speaking in her mind. Anima...?

Yes, Amalie, I'm here. She closed her eyes, so he was back inside of her. Of course, it must have been the only way to spare her. She gulped, it had been that or death. She brought lifted up her gaze, looking for the man who had chosen to save her. At the sight of him, her eyes would widen in horror.

"No." She whispered in disbelief, following this with a much louder, pained scream. "NO."

Dragging herself forward with the little strength she had left, she would crawl over to him, as quickly as her fatigued body would let her. Leaning over him, tears would fall from her eyes once more, "No, please...Not this, anything but this." She cried. Johann lay there, covered in blood, the shards she had attempted to use to end her own existence covering his body. "Anima, we have to do something please. This can’t happen! Not him, Please not him." She begged desperately, yet try as she might, her magic would not come, the strain of having a seal removed and re-sealed had taken its toll on her strength. She was simply too weak to help him now. In spite of Anima's attempt to withhold her emotions, he could not suppress the sadness and agony she felt. The helplessness and sorrow that had overwhelmed her, as she sobbed for him. "Johann please....please be ok. I need you."

---

The storm seemed to ease slightly, although the sky still seemed to be pouring down upon them. The thunder and lightning, at the very least, has come to a cease. Leaving them with only the melachonic rain that would shower down steadily. Amalie was drenched at this point, her uniform was soaked through, coated in mud from her having kneeled on the muddy floor of the training grounds. It was an unsightly mess, but not one that she cared about right now. Right now, all she could think about was the wounded man that lay beneath her and the possibility that she may have killed him. The likelihood that, as a consequence of her foolish desire to free herself from being a vessel, she may have lost him forever.

The ache in the woman's heart was unfamiliar, she had felt many pains in her life but never had she felt such a loss. The pain of losing someone you so cared for. Even when Wyatt had died, it hadn't felt like this. Amalie had long since realised after his death, that whatever love she may have once felt for him, he had long since stomped out. The despair she felt as she sobbed over his still body, it was such a raw, painful emotion that Anima could not suppress it. It seemed that the feelings she bore towards the God of Ishgar were greater than the woman realised, and it seemed the thought of losing him was enough to teach her this. But what good was it to her? Knowing that she had fallen for the man only for him to lose his life before she could do anything about it. Or so she thought.

She would feel him move suddenly, her eyes darting to his face only to see that they had opened. She inhaled sharply, relief washing over her at the realisation that he was alive. She hadn't killed him, there was still hope, she wouldn't lose him, not today. He would snap his fingers and the glass would disappate, the cuts covering his body healing in moments. Amalie was lost for words, watching as he took her in. Her lips would part, but she couldn't speak. Her voice caught in her throat, tears still streaming down her cheeks. He smiled, reaching up to touch her face before making an offhanded comment about not being that easy to kill. In spite of the feelings that were still somewhat overwhelming her, she would let out a chuckle at the blase nature of the remark. She moved to give him a little room as he sat up only for him to wrap his arms around her, pulling her close. She welcomed the embrace, entwining her arms around him tenderly, careful not to be too rough in case he was still hurt. She leaned into him, burying her face into his neck. Closing her eyes, she sighed deeply, she couldn't help but find herself soothed by his warmth. She listened as he spoke, feeling a pang of guilt, she shook her head. "I was such a fool, I should have never asked this of you. If..."  She paused, hesitating as to whether or not she should continue. She took a calming breath, speaking softly as she finished what she was going to say. "If I'd have known it was going to be that bad....that you would end up getting hurt because of me... I would have never." She opened her eyes, lifting her gaze to his face, her eyes full of earnest remorse as she spoke to him."I'm sorry, Johann, it's all my fault."

---

His words would wash away her remorse, the feel of his lips as they met hers removing the lingering guilt that clouded her mind. She would close her eyes, leaning into the kiss to reciprocate with equal passion. Relishing the feeling that coursed through her, the understanding that she wasn't alone in the way she felt. She could only take the kiss as he meant it, taking in what it was he was trying to convey an answer in kind. They would separate, and her eyes would flutter open to look at him once more. She listened as he offered his own apology, one she couldn't understand the need for. She shook her head, "You only did what I asked of you..." She whispered back, finding frustration in the fact he was blaming himself. Still, it didn't matter, it was over now. "It's fine... at least we're okay." She added. They had survived, somehow. What they had done had been unbelievably dangerous, a feat that nearly killed them both. Yet here they were, still breathing, that had to count for something right?

She would feel him pull away, releasing her embrace, she watched as he would stand. Following his remark about feeling cold, she would nod, feeling the same. Cold, wet and exhausted. She would reach up, taking his hand, she would pull herself up. Albeit slightly unsteadily, she would use him as a support. Slowly, they would make their way towards the East Wing, as they reached her door. She would turn to him, her eyes rising to meet his face, she froze with uncertainty. She didn't know what to say now. We're they just going to say goodbye, leave it at that. There was so much that hadn't been said, so much still left up in the air. She cleared her throat, "I best get cleaned up...I'll talk to you later." All the while she said the words, she felt her mind reeling in protest. She didn't want to part from him, not yet. She would move away and offering him a soft smile. She would open her door, she would touch his arm gently, her touch lingering hesistantly before she pulled away. Stepping into her room, and shutting the door behind her. She would lean against the door, the feelings of anguish and frustration returning. She needed rest, she knew that much, maybe after some time, her head would be clearer. She would move through her room, making her way towards the bathroom. Piece by piece she would peel off her uniform, the fabric drenched with rain, blood and dirt falling to the floor. She would quickly climb into the shower to wash it off. Relishing the feel of the water, cleaning everything away. Following her shower, she would move to her bedroom, holding a towel she wouldn't dry herself with it, only hold it as she wandered back to her room. The conflicted emotions throwing her completely. Rest, rest was surely what she needed right now after such an intense ordeal. As she entered her bedroom, the towel would slip from her fingers, falling to the floor. Her eyes fell on the bed, causing her to pause, her mind racing with thoughts of everything that had just happened. Memories of a certain night flooding her mind, now that she knew how she felt. Was she really going to leave it as it was? No, there was no way she could rest right now.

She needed to speak to him.

She quickly reached behind her door. Grabbing her white dressing gown, she threw the silk robe around her naked self. Making her way back out of the room, she would yank open the door, moving through the halls of the East Wing. She would find her way to the Elevator, rushing inside. She would press the button for the second floor, her heart racing in her chest. Now that she was on her way, she didn't know what she planned to do or say. She needed to say something, to make things clear to him somehow. The elevator would ding and the doors would part, her bare feet rushing through the halls that lead to his room. As she reached it, she stopped, her body trembling slightly from the exertion of having run there so quickly, despite how exhausted it was. She would reach up, knocking three times. After a moment, the door would open, and he would see her standing there. Her wet hair clinging to her face, the silk robes clinging to her damp body. And yet, despite her plans, the things she'd thought to say, all the words she'd planned to use to clear things up. As her eyes met his, they all melted away. All her plans fading away in a single moment, as she stepped towards him. Wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his once more.

---

The thoughts that raced through her mind and the rollercoaster of emotions she was still enduring; The uncertainty, the shame, all of it disappated the moment he'd opened that door. Standing there in little more than a towel, she'd forgotten everything she wanted to say. Her more primal instincts taking over her body as it almost seem to act of its own accord, seeking to possess what it was that she really needed. It was so simple really, she wanted him, all of him. Nothing else could help ease her mind right now. As she pressed herself against him, engaging in a heated kissed filled with pent up desire. His arms would pull her close and distantly she would hear the door shut as he reciprocated the kiss. She would kiss him with a sense of hunger, tilting her head so that she could further caress his lips with her own. She would ease back slightly, just enough so should speak between kisses, whispering her thoughts to him in a breathy tone."I...need you." The statement itself carried so much to it, it wasn't just the essential need for him to take her there and then. But so much more. Remembering that this wasn't the only reason she was here, and before they could continue, she would need to make her feelings clear. Once and for all, she somehow found the will to contain herself, if but for a moment, to do what it was she'd genuinely intended upon coming here.

She pulled back from the kiss completely, opening her ice-blue eyes to look at him. Her hands still resting delicately around his neck as she looked up at him. "I think it's fair to say, the dust has settled and honestly... what I want is..." She offered him a coy smile, glancing away anxiously before looking back at him, a reflection of the nerves she was feeling. A part of her was telling her to stop, that this was a mistake and there would be no turning back should he not feel the way she did. She had never in her entire life, done anything like this. But she knew what she wanted, and she was done waiting. She took a breath before continuing, her eyes softening as she spoke. "I want to be yours... if you'll have me." Her heart would race furiously in her chest, a new sense of fear rippling through her as she anxiously awaited his response. She had finally been honest with him, laying her cards on the table for him to see, the truth behind how she felt towards him.

---

It seemed to be a day full of risk for Amalie. First risking both their lives for the sake of removing the Fifth Seal of the Apocalypse from her body and now this. Except this risk was a little more complicated. Essentially, she was exposing her vulnerability to him, and giving him the power that belonged to the moment they were sharing. He could deny her; a blow would likely crush her severely bruised spirit. She had taken quite a lot today, the words and experiences still lingered in her mind, haunting her. However, it was this that had been the push she needed to lead her to this confession. To offer herself to him so that for once, she could finally permit herself to be happy on her own terms.

She watched his face carefully, trying to anticipate what it was he would say. She knew he was attracted to her; he wouldn’t act so intimately with her if he wasn't. But this was different, wanting someone physically and wanting them emotionally did not always coincide. And here they were addressing the state of their emotional relationship, which had been left unlabelled thus far as anything other than ‘friends’. But Amalie didn’t want to be just his friend, she couldn’t, she’d grown too attached. For most of the time during which she'd known him, she had craved for more. She had found herself falling deeper and deeper for him. To start with, the attraction had been primarily sexual, however, the more she got accustomed to him. The times they would spend around each other, feelings had begun to fester. Thoughts of him had consumed her for so long, significantly intensified after that night they spent together. Leaving her with a constant want to take that leap, to be with him completely, but the idea of ruining their friendship had caused her to hesitate. Until now.

Fortunately for the woman, his reaction was nothing but positive. His expression told her enough, his grin, his words, all of it would only cement this understanding. He would suddenly scoop her up into his arms. She couldn’t help herself, she let out a light laugh as he did so, wrapping her legs around his waist so that he could support her better. Listening to him talk, his lips brushing softly against hers as he told her what she wanted so desperately to hear, he could not have responded more perfectly. She was flooded with similar emotions of ecstatic euphoria. The relief that set in, compiled with a sense of pure elation, he would kiss her, which she would of course return with delighted enthusiasm.  “I am yours.” She would whisper back breathlessly before returning to their kiss, losing herself in him once more as he carried her to his bedroom where they would spend several hours passionately indulging in one another…


Her finger would lightly trace over Johann's runes, playfully she dragged the tip of her index finger across his chest. Amalie was lying next to him, still a little breathless after everything that had just happened. Her body was flushed with warmth, her legs practically felt like jelly and there was a distinct tingling sensation that coursed through certain parts of her. A lingering after effect of the relentless summits of pleasure she had just endured. Her body was resting on its side, she was curled up next to him in a relaxed embrace, her skin still pressed against his, and her head resting idly on his shoulder. Twisted sheets somewhat covering their lower halves. She finally felt at ease, she had been able to clear her mind for a time, and just enjoy the act of making love to a man she could finally claim as her own. She glanced up at him, smirking at him softly. “Well that certainly took a turn... for the better.” She dragged her eyes back to his form, admiring it an unabashed manner. She memory of the cuts that had covered him earlier flashed through her mind, cuts made by her. She sighed, the smile faltering slightly. "Today was really something huh? How are you feeling?" She would ask, her tone laced with concern, he had after all near enough died hours earlier.

---