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    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Vic the Boss
    Vic the Boss

    Player 
    Lineage : Silver Chaotica
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    Posts : 19
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    Age : 31
    Experience : 275000

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Vic the Boss on 12th June 2014, 9:27 pm

    Magic

    Primary Magic: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic
    Secondary Magic:
    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description:

    Strengths:

    • Water Absorption: spells adsorb water spells then us to power up.


    • Is able to consume any plant life


    • Motion sickness is removed while in the presence of plant life


    Weaknesses:

    • Fire magic: being plant base user is weak to fire


    • while not in the presence of plant life motion sickness returns


    • Tired at night because lack sunlight


    • Requires 3 post with a minimum resting in sunlight per day failing to do so results in a temporary loss of max mana of 10%. this can be rectified my getting the allotted amount of sun during the day.  

    Abilities/Powers:

    • Photosynthesis
        Giving the user 5% magic per post while in sunlight. this is cause by the uses body working like a plant absorbing sunlight and turning it into energy. use has to be in sunlight for this to work and has a minimum required amount or the user "wilts" losing maximum magic if they fail to get enough sunlight.



    • Dragon Force: Second Gen



    • Enhanced Sences



    • enhances strength, speed, durability, and reflexes



    • Able to Eat plant life for Mana





    Name: Healing pollen
    Rank: D
    Type: Plant. Support
    Description: taking a deep breath first then expelling it in the desired direction. the breath has little yellow glitter like things in it which got 15 feet and heal minor wounds
    Strengths:

    • 1 D-rank heals per post for 2 posts as well as minor wounds



    • AOE 8 meters


    • Can be cast instantly

    Weaknesses:

    • Strong wind blows it in another direction. any rank spell or strong natural as this ability us pollen to affect allys


    • Fire burns it up. D-rank

      • Heal all in area of effect, friend or foe


      • Cant be used in Extreme weather conditions(storms)


      • 3 post cool down


      Name: Thorns
      Rank: D
      Type: Plant. Support/offensive
      Description: The user sprouts thorns like a rose that can be as ranged weapons or to cause damage to a melee attacker. these thorn act as a defensive buff until pulled off to be throne.
      Strengths:

      • Causes d rank physical damage to melee attackers


      • can be used as a ranged weapon


      • Causes the opponent to bleed 1% damage per turn for 3 turns. this only occures if the opponent has been hit with a thrown thorn or take damage after trying to melee user.[/color]

      Weaknesses:

      • can be burnt off by 1 D-rank fire


      • thorns cant puncture Armour as they are rose thorns and made of plant matter



      • Inaccurate when thrown


      • Slows user down 5%


      • spell duration 3 turns


      • cooldown 4 turns



      Name: Barkskin
      Rank: D
      Type: Plant Defensive
      Description: The users eats a seed imbued with magic that covers there skin in bark giving resistance to damage as well as healing some damage, but slows the user down. can be given to allys
      Strengths:

      • Defenses increases by 10%


      • can be given to ally's'


      • heals user D-rank heal

      Weaknesses:

      • Weak to fire. 1 D-rank fire spells cuts def buff to 5% 2 D-rank fire spells remove it complete.


      • slows the user down by 10%


      • Requires a seed of some type as to gain the buff the seed must be consumed by target


      • only one seed per cast


      • cooldown 4 posts


      • duration 3 posts


      Name: Strangle Vines
      Rank: D
      Type: Plant Offensive
      Description: The user drive there hand while holding a Imbued seed which grow when in the ground and is directed by the user. Can be thrown for limited effects.

      • Restrains enemy's
        D-rank   3 posts 2 round of D rank Damage
        C-rank   2 Posts 1 Round of D rank Damage
        B-rank   1 post no damage



      • Deal D-rank damage per post until enemy breaks free or spell expires(2 D-rank atk/1 d rank fire)


      • Imbued seed can be instead thrown for lesser effect allowing the user to continue to function normaly.
        D-rank 2 posts 1 round of D-rank damage
        C-rank 1 post no damage

      Weaknesses:

      • must be channeled an thus stops user from doing anything further to target



      • can be burned away with fire by 1 d-rank


      • Weak when used without ally's


      • can only be used in areas that vines can move around(stone and other solid surfaces stops this spell)


      • Cooldown 4 turns




    Last edited by Aetheira DeathScyth on 1st July 2014, 5:59 pm; edited 4 times in total


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic MjzpchW
    NightDrivenEn7
    NightDrivenEn7

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    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Requip: Four elements.
    Second Magic:
    Third Magic:

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by NightDrivenEn7 on 13th June 2014, 9:42 am

    Please wait for character approval


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    "True Strength shall be shown, and the corruption of magic shall be broken."

    Current EXP: 150

    Informatio and Items:
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    Jobs:
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    Vic the Boss
    Vic the Boss

    Player 
    Lineage : Silver Chaotica
    Position : None
    Posts : 19
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    Age : 31
    Experience : 275000

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Vic the Boss on 13th June 2014, 3:52 pm

    sorry i need to have finished magic so i could figure out her roll in combat


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic MjzpchW
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    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Guest on 18th June 2014, 6:43 am

    Hey there Thea, I'll be helping you to work on your magic =]

    My main issues at the moment is that you've not properly used the magic template that the site provides you with(found here. Click the spoiler near the bottom of the post to get the coding) and thus reading this is somewhat difficult. Please use the the link above to get the magic/spell template, including the BBCode tags and whatnot so that the magic is easier to read and see where certain parts of the magic ends and the next part begins.

    From what I CAN read at the moment, it appears you do not have enough strengths and weaknesses to your magic. Your magic and spells require at least 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses (4 if you include the duration/cooldown) and you must always have equal or more weaknesses than strengths.

    I'll leave you with these edits for now. Please bump when the edits have been made and I'll be happy to re-review your magic =]
    Vic the Boss
    Vic the Boss

    Player 
    Lineage : Silver Chaotica
    Position : None
    Posts : 19
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31
    Experience : 275000

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Vic the Boss on 1st July 2014, 11:16 am

    Bump


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    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic MjzpchW
    Chaotic Rumble
    Chaotic Rumble
     
     

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    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Refraction : Sword King
    Second Magic: N/A (for now)
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    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Chaotic Rumble on 1st July 2014, 1:02 pm

    Aetheira DeathScyth wrote:Magic

    Primary Magic: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic
    Secondary Magic:
    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description:

    Strengths:

    • Photosynthesis: gains mana regen of 5% per post while in sunlight. <--- This is an ability which you've stated in the abilities section.  This isn't a strength; please remove this and replace it with another one.  A strength perhaps can be that your attacks are able to absorb water spells, rendering them useless and maybe them powering up your said spell.


    • First Gen Dragon Slayer  <--- Not quite first gen, as you got it from a lacrima.  Regardless, that's not the point here - I fail to see how this is a strength.  If you want to explain it to me, feel free, however, I'd strongly recommend to change this.  Perhaps a strength could be that you can eat literally any plant life possible, since that IS within your realm.


    • Motion sickness is removed while in the presence of plant life


    Weaknesses:

    • Fire magic: being plant base user is weak to fire


    • while not in the presence of plant life motion sickness returns


    • Tired at night because lack sunlight


    • Requires 2 hours minimum of resting in sunlight per day failing to do so results in a temporary loss of max mana of 10%. this can be rectified my getting the allotted amount of sun during the day.  <--- We don't measure things here by hours, but instead, in posts, for a very simple reason; in RP, a post can vary from 10 seconds, to 2 years.  Please change it so it measures it by posts, instead of hours.

    Abilities/Powers:

    • Photosynthesis
        Giving the user 5% magic per post while in sunlight. this is cause by the uses body working like a plant absorbing sunlight and turning it into energy. use has to be in sunlight for this to work and has a minimum required amount or the user "wilts" losing maximum magic if they fail to get enough sunlight.



    • Dragon Force: First Gen <--- Not quite 1st gen from the way I understand it.  Be certain to correct me if I'm wrong, since I do believe it's the lacrima that came from the VIP shop.



    • Senses up by 25%  <--- No need to specify it; just write enhanced senses, which include all senses.  Remember, your senses are that of a dragon, which is far superior to any other animal on the planet, apart from other dragons'.



    • All ability's up by 25%  <--- No need to specify this; just write something like enhances strength, speed, durability, and reflexes.  While these aren't quite up to par to a dragon, it'll gradually increase as you rank up which makes you more and more like one in these aspects - remember, even at D-Rank, you're superior to any regular animal in these aspects.

      You can add here that you can eat literally any form of plant life, since it is an ability that's clearly available to you.





    Name: Healing pollen
    Rank: D
    Type: Plant. Support
    Description: taking a deep breath first then expelling it in the desired direction. the breath has little yellow glitter like things in it which got 15 feet and heal minor wounds
    Strengths:

    • Heals 10% per post for 3 posts as well as minor wounds <---  Too powerful, unfortunately.  Sad truth is, while I do completely agree with healing by percentages, as you rank up...  Well...  It'll flux, since, this IS only a D-Rank spell after all, it won't be able to do all too much.  It shouldn't be able to heal 30%, even if it is an overtime thing, at S-Rank, which is about one or two S-Rank hits on their own.  The way I recommend changing this is by stating it heals 2 D-Rank hits worth of damage, and minor injuries (cuts, scrapes, bruises, etc).



    • AOE 15 feet <--- You can increase the range to 8 meters, which roughly translates to 25 feet.  This is optional.


    • Can be cast instantly

    Weaknesses:

    • Strong wind blows it in another direction <--- D-Rank wind magic or higher can blow it away; we go things according to rank, and as a result, whenever a weakness says "able to overpower fire" or "weak against water" or something like that, we say what ranked spells can do the said action.  I'll be pointing this out in all of your other strengths/weaknesses that say the same thing, but don't take it too hard.


    • Fire burns it up <--- What ranked fire is able to do this?  (D-Rank and up is my recommendation).


    • Heal all in area of effect, friend or foe


    • Cant be used in Extreme weather conditions(storms)


    • 5 post cool down <--- Can be lowered to 3 posts.


    Name: Thorns
    Rank: D
    Type: Plant. Support/offensive
    Description: The user sprouts thorns like a rose that can be as ranged weapons or to cause damage to a melee attacker <--- What are the thorns?  Can they just be thrown?  Or is it a form of whip?  Either way, some things need to be defined.  If it's a whip, state its length.  If it's the thrown thorns, just give them a height and width.  Also, if you create thorns, be sure to state how many you create.
    Strengths:

    • Causes d rank physical damage to melee attackers


    • can be used as a ranged weapon


    • Causes the opponent to bleed 1% damage per turn for 3 turns <--- I believe you mean it just damages them per post.  Regardless, as stated before, we do things according to rank.  Just write down that the foe bleeds for D-Rank damage ever post, but reduce the amount of posts they bleed for to 2 posts.

    Weaknesses:

    • can be burnt off by fire <--- What ranked fire?


    • thorns cant puncture Armour <--- It can actually puncture weak weapons and armor, since they have no resistance to spells.  In order to keep this weakness, just say it cannot puncture Strong or higher ranks.



    • Inaccurate when thrown


    • Slows user down 5%


    • spell duration 4 turns <--- Please reduce this to 3 posts.


    • cooldown 6 turns <--- You can reduce this to 4 posts if you want.



    Name: Barkskin
    Rank: D
    Type: Plant Defensive
    Description: The users eats a seed imbued with magic that covers there skin in bark giving resistance to damage as well as healing some damage, but slows the user down. can be given to allys
    Strengths:

    • Defenses increases by 10%


    • can be given to ally's'


    • heals user 5% health <--- As I said before, we scale this according to rank.  Since it isn't strictly a healing spell, just write it heals for a factor of one D-Rank spell.

    Weaknesses:

    • Weak to fire <--- What ranked fire?  Also, what does fire do to the spell exactly?


    • slows the user down by 10%


    • Requires a seed of some type <--- You sure you want this weakness?  It seems like a pretty heavy one to me...  You can replace it to say that lightning can pierce through it, since it is wood, and wood can pretty easily be pierced by lightning.  Two D-Rank, or 1 C-Rank spell can pierce through it (my recommendation).


    • only one seed per cast


    • cooldown 2 posts


    • duration 4 posts <--- I'm not sure if you switched up the cooldown and duration on accident, but if you did, please just switch them; you can also lower the cooldown to 3 posts.


    Name: Strangle Vines
    Rank: D
    Type: Plant Offensive
    Description: The user drive there hand into the ground then takes control of plant life to grab the opponent then squeezes them breaking bones.
    Strengths:

    • Restrains enemy's <--- No problem, however, this spell clearly won't be able to restrain a C-Rank mage for as long as a D-Rank mage. As a result, I'd like you to create a somewhat of a chart, stating what ranked mage this spell can restrain. My recommendation is that D-Rank mages are restrained for the full amount, C-Ranks half that, and B-Ranks and above, not at all.



    • Deal D-rank damage per post until enemy breaks free or spell expires(2 D-rank atk/1 d rank fire)


    • Tears flesh causing bleeding 1% per turn(effect remain for 3 turn after they free themselves) <--- Since this spell restricts movement and deals damage on its own, that's plenty for a D-Rank spell. I'd appreciate it if you could scrap up this strength and replace it with another one.

    Weaknesses:

    • must be channeled



    • can be burned away with fire <--- What ranked fire can do this?


    • Weak when used without ally's <--- How so? Do you have to concentrate to keep the opponent restricted?


    • can only be used in areas that vines can move around(stone and other solid surfaces stops this spell)


    • Cooldown 5 turns


    I can tell that this is an overtime thing, but there is no duration. Please put one down. Also, you can reduce the cooldown to 4 posts.

    Right! So, since this is an entirely new magic, I'll be taking over. Comments and stuff are in this colour. Please bump once the changes are made~!

    Also, I apologize if I come across as strict or dicky. I really don't mean to, so if that's the case... I deeply apologize.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________



    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic V4W5D0r


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    Vic the Boss
    Vic the Boss

    Player 
    Lineage : Silver Chaotica
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    Posts : 19
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    Age : 31
    Experience : 275000

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Vic the Boss on 1st July 2014, 5:59 pm

    Bump


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic MjzpchW
    Vic the Boss
    Vic the Boss

    Player 
    Lineage : Silver Chaotica
    Position : None
    Posts : 19
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31
    Experience : 275000

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Vic the Boss on 6th July 2014, 3:35 pm

    bump number 2


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic MjzpchW
    Vic the Boss
    Vic the Boss

    Player 
    Lineage : Silver Chaotica
    Position : None
    Posts : 19
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31
    Experience : 275000

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Vic the Boss on 8th July 2014, 10:01 am

    bump 3


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic MjzpchW
    Chaotic Rumble
    Chaotic Rumble
     
     

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Chatbox Moderator- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- God Slayer- Dragon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character Application Approved!- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Tournament Participation Badge- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
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    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Refraction : Sword King
    Second Magic: N/A (for now)
    Third Magic:

    Rose Dragon Slayer Magic Empty Re: Rose Dragon Slayer Magic

    Post by Chaotic Rumble on 8th July 2014, 10:26 am

    Sorry it took so long to get back to, truly, I deeply apologize.

    Anyways, back to a review;

    Thorns; you still haven't specified how many thorns you're able to create with this spell. Please do that for me. Also, considering that this ability can be thrown AND used as a shield of sorts from melee attackers, I'd like you to remove the bleeding aspect of the spell. Having a spell at D-Rank that can both cause damage and protect you is already really powerful for the said rank.

    Strangle Vines; I have a question for a certain strength.

    " Imbued seed can be instead thrown for lesser effect allowing the user to continue to function normaly.
    D-rank 2 posts 1 round of D-rank damage
    C-rank 1 post no damage
    "

    By the way this is written, you can assume that the same effect takes place as to when it's not thrown. So does it restrain others when thrown as well? Since it doesn't clearly say so.

    Apologies for being so nitpicky, but it's all required.

    Please bump once the changes are made~


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      Current date/time is 22nd August 2019, 2:53 am