Down with the Sith! (Kalama)

There was an eerie silence while Lehanna had listened to the woman’s response to all that she had been told. Honestly, hearing this sounded like she was just listening to herself in a lot of ways. As much as the teen tried to praise the idea that what she built on her own had made her a better person, she knew there were still key elements in her life that she had no experience with that other kids had growing up and it was something that she couldn’t have. Nothing could change how her childhood went aside from complete amnesia or her mind being erased entirely. However, there was nothing of that sort that existed to perform the latter, so she had no reason to dwell on the concept while she continued listening to Kalama speaking to her about her situation.

When she brought up the fact that she had known what Lehanna’s phobia was, it didn’t strike her to be so obvious or concerning. She almost seemed to be a little relieved at first, only picking her head up to look at the blonde. There was no change in her emotional state in that she got upset in any way. She seemed almost deadpan about it, as though if didn’t phase her at all. ”We can go… i want go face them.” She replied, coldly. And before she could even get up, she felt for the first time something strange. The horns that grew on her head from the curse had not really been explored by the teen as of yet, but one eye winced lightly shut from her light prodding of it while only a faint sigh exhaled from her nostrils. ”Sh-She’s not my girlfriend…” She replied, standing up and trying to hide the flushing cheeks she had.

Following Kalama towards the cave, at first remained quiet. Still getting used to even walking with the tail seemed a little challenging as she nearly fell a couple of times on her own feet and then even once actually tripping over the tail itself. It came with no anger. No response but to pick herself up and brush the dirt off of her before moving along again. All the while she wondered why her anger seemed to be so absent… not that it was a bad thing currently. ”I guess I was yelling in my sleep. I’ve… concerned people about that before.” Finally breaking the silence, Lehanna looked up to the sky and then towards the other woman. ”When I lived with Elara’s family, they hated me. They kept me around because of my family name. That itself is another story, but the importance is that they assured themselves to treat me like trash but for visits and friends that didn’t also reside and praise Pergrande as the holy land.” A brief pause had her for a moment gritting her teeth from a sudden sharp pain in her chest. ”Their favorite.. way to punish me was to throw me into a hall closet and lock the door. Hours, days even I would spend in there. Crying myself to sleep, begging for he let out. Elara would trick me into things or just out of sheer spur of the moment anger and possibly to just get in some good graces of her parents would shove me in, shut the door, then lean against it while I began panic attack after panic attack.” With another moment of silence, she would stop just outside of the cave entrance now and then glare upward at the cursed woman. ”I don’t care that you know. I don’t care if you think I may die in this cave or let this thing take me over. You will never win this, understood?” She had referred to the woman trying to convince her to become one with the curse like she had and begin some reign of terror.

That would never happen.

Giving Kalama a moment to say any last words, the raven haired teen stepped into the dark cave. Making sure to walk deeper and deeper inside, the air quickly turned cold. It had begun to suck the air from her lungs and breathing got difficult. Dropping to her knees, Lehanna heaved for air while she heard the faint sounds of voices in the distance. Trying to get back to her feet, she saw a blurry figure not far ahead of her. ”Miss… Miss Leona?” As the figure before her became clear, it was the backside of her guild master. She was talking but nothing she said could be heard. Soon, another pair of figures appeared. Opposite of her had been Mercury and Kitalpha. Laughing and talking amongst themselves, the teen struggled to move closer to them. Something was actively holding her back, but nothing was around her. ”H-Hey! Wait, how did you all get in here?” She questioned, only to get ignored completely. ”Miss Leona! Mercury? Momma Kita!? Can you even here me!?” She began to feel a bit annoyed but also panicked about it.

The three looked to her and their faces soured. They looked to he repulsed by the sight of the girl. They questioned who she was and how she knew their names. Even Kitalpha was distant towards her. It felt a little heartbreaking, but then she remembered her appearance was drastically different. ”It’s me, Lehanna! Don’t you recognize my voice at least?” The women all began to laugh at her. Her worrisome look turned to one of a shattered hope. They claimed that even if she were Lehanna, they would never let something so repulsive around them. “Thing”. That was the thing that shook her more than anything. The teen dropped to her knees as the defeat began to settle in, but as she looked down a pair of feet had stepped into view. Looking up, Elara loomed over her and the scowl on her face had told her everything. “The Lehanna I know would never look like a pathetic waste. Freaks like you deserve to be alone.” The words were like knives stabbing her in the heart over and over. Tears began to stream down her face and without even being able to say anything, Kita walked over and placed her hands on the other teens shoulders. She sounded so sweet and motherly before she told her vermin like Lehanna would just crawl back into the sewers and not to associate with it.

Again, the objectifying way she was referred made her freeze up. Choked up with the insults flung at her, they began to walk away from her. ”Wait, no come back, please!” She screamed. ”Don’t go, I need you!” Her hand reached out just seconds before an immense burning sensation kicked up in her body and she fell over onto the ground. The sensation caused her body to writhe and shift around while she screamed out in both frustration and heartache.

“… Weak…” A deep voice spat out. Barely heard by the teen, she felt her body tightening up from a sudden, but somehow outside force from the pain. “Such a weak brat… HEY!” The loud call out had her eyes shoot open fully and suddenly met by a pair of lightly glowing eyes. She jumped back and then observed what she could of the creature. “You’re so pathetic if you let rejection stop you.” It spoke again. It was direct and rather cruel at that. “If they reject you, just cut them out of your life… literally even.” An air of calm set in to her for a moment as if she had heard this somewhere before. “I would have told you to set them on fire and watch them burn, but your pathetic self was beaten by an old bag and lost those powers on top of it! Now I have to float around and watch your ass cry and whine about not having anyone?” The girl couldn’t believe what she had heard. These were her own thoughts being spoken back to her. “Up. Fight through the pain, through the fear. Let me guide you to your revenge. Seeming as you have no choice anyway.” It finished, making Lehanna scratch her head to the words it spoke. No choice? How did it have no choice? Did the curse inadvertently create it? And out of what? ”What are you?”

It seemed as though he’d question bothered this still hidden creature which only snickered at her question. “I’m made from you. Or rather, I’m your anger, manifested into a spectral form. I’m in tune to your thoughts, your mind, and your memories. You’re so damn afraid of things your mind knows is there, but you’re too much of a child to grow a pair and face them. You may as well walk out of here, get on your knees, and kiss the feet of that witch outside and pledge yourself to be her little pet project if you won’t just pull up your big girl pants and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!” Again, it was simply replaying words she yelled at herself recently and in the past. Things she couldn’t express to others and couldn’t get others to just tell her. ”Yeah, but… what if everyone just shuns me like they did? The only people I had for a family just turn their back and exile me from their lives? What do I do then?” Her voice shook, on the edge of breaking down once again when the deeper voice sighed. ”You can’t live life not acting on your fears. Take your own advice and even her advice. If they truly love you in whatever way they do, they won’t reject you. You can’t fear rejection or you’ll never know what would happen. It’s not about theories, it’s the practices. You once told a classmate ‘a great person doesn’t skip the problem. They solve the equation no matter the steps they go through to get there.’”

After a moment of realizing what was going on, Lehanna had thought over the words of the voice, be it her own delusion or not, the message was clear. A light bore it’s way through the darkness and the teen turned around to see the exit. Quickly, she wiped her face of the shedded tears and began to walk out, unknown of the fact she was being followed. When she would exit, the rising Sun would just be over the horizon with the next day having passed and the girl would look around for Kalama. Exiting with her would be a wisp of shadows and a dragon like shaped form. However, it would seem she had no idea that it was even there.

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The blonde warrior had never been far away, sitting cross legged on a tree stump, her eyes closed as though she were asleep. The truth was that she was in a way, having slipped into a state of meditation and having remained there for the entire night. Kalama had always felt more comfortable in the small hours, where she could feel the moon’s embrace. She was certain that part of it was due to her curse but honestly the mage had always enjoyed the night. It was quiet and tranquil, a period where she did not have to put up with the countless idiots that littered the world. A time where she could forget about the now and let her mind wonder. She had thought back to her early days as a farm girl, thought back to her adventures with Aoi and then to her recent past, where she and her curse had finally joined together for good. For once, her guard had been down and yet nothing had tried to attack her, knowing full well that at that moment, she might just have sprang at them. That was the impression that she gave and one she made the most of. Her sword lay across her crossed legs, as a warning.

It was only when the sun reached her that the warrior’s eyes opened again, a frown crossing her features at the sight of it. She had been rather enjoying her me time and to be interrupted in such a way was greatly annoying. With a frustrated sigh, she had uncrossed her legs and tried to stand up but unfortunately for her, she had been sitting cross legged for so long that her circulation was all over the place and she ended up back on the stump. A voice in her head briefly mocked her for showing such weakness resulting in Kalama responding in a way that no one would probably want to hear. Becoming more irritated, she would then eventually get up before starting to stretch in order to get her body back in gear again.

Her thoughts would briefly drift to the girl, who had been within the cave for a rather long period of time. It was of no great surprise and Kalama did briefly wonder if perhaps Lehanna had simply not been strong enough mentally to survive there. The warrior’s warnings had been genuine and she knew better than most about just what it was like. During her own trip inside, Kalama had ended up fighting herself, a version that was the same but oh so different. The aura had been completely the opposite of her own and the fight that had taken place was one that the armour wearing mage would not forget. Was that what had happened to Lehanna too? Had she encountered her mirror image and lost? Or had she perhaps found herself driven to madness due to her phobia being forced upon her? The cave could break through any mental guard and no memory or thought was safe from its penetrating darkness.

The sounds of footsteps would eventually bring her back to herself and the tall woman’s gaze turned towards the cave, where the girl was just exiting from. The redness of her eyes told Kalama all she needed to know about the experience and with a blink or two, she would retrieve her weapon and sheathe it, before walking over to Lehanna. “So you survived? I confess that I was beginning to wonder if you would ever leave having been in there all night. Were you able to overcome your…”

She stopped, her eyebrows rising as she noticed the wisp-like creature following the girl, her previous question leaving her mind to be replaced by another. “What is that supposed to be?”

This was something entirely new to the blonde and it did intrigue her although naturally, she was suspicious of the shadowy creation.

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(30664 TWC)

As Lehanna had exited the cave without the realization that her new companion was following her, she had felt as though a weight was lifted off of her. She wasn’t worried nearly as much about her guilds reaction. More over, the gut churning feeling of Kitalpha and Elara’s far outweighed that. Despite that, she had to listen to her own thoughts and know that she couldn’t be afraid of the outcome. If they truly cared about her, then this new chapter of her suffering life story will not impact anything. Besides… isn’t she a little more like her adopted mother now that she was cursed? Well if so, perhaps this will just strengthen their bond more. Hell, with her help, finding clothes wearable with her tail would most certainly be easier too! At least that’s one other problem solved with thought.

When the raven haired teen looked to Kalama about her comment, she noticed the shadow like being and looked over her shoulder. Quietly looming and looking over the older blonde before taking a gaze in the sunlit sky. ”Apparently the curse brought about a new fear it had to drag out of the recesses of my mind. My claustrophobia is something I can live with, with time I’m sure I can settle that some more to hopefully rid myself of nightmares. It’s mainly stress that brings about those more often than not.” She would stop and turn her attention back to Kalama. ”This is, according to it, a physical manifestation of my anger. I presume another part of the curse. Which would explain my eerily calm demeanor since you forced this on me.” As she noted the last part, she simply looked down at herself and then flicked her hair over her shoulder.

”You’re going to let me leave now, right? I can go home?” She wondered now, curious and her voice lined with worry. She’d forgotten the time table the woman set she would spend with her, but if this woman lived up to her word, she’d be able to feel normal again some day… maybe.

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Listening to the girl’s explanation, Kalama would briefly glance upon the spirit creature again. A curious entity for sure and the blonde woman would quite have liked to spend some time just figuring out just what it could do, both in battle and normal life. It was so unusual and the dark mage was unsure as to whether Lehanna’s explanation quite covered it. Was it truly her anger in a physical form or was it simply the curse playing games with the child? Either way, it was something that Lehanna would have to live with and the amber eyed warrior had no answers regarding it. The creature was something that the teenager would have to learn about herself. A part of the blonde considered the possibility once again that perhaps she should keep the girl here for good, where she could experiment and learn from the process that she had put Lehanna through but yet, there was another option. If she could do it to Lehanna then why not try it on another young soul? That was a far more entertaining idea and one that would not leave her thoughts any time soon.

It was precisely at that point where Lehanna asked her the inevitable question and one that Kalama should have expected. The blonde had promised the child to let her go after a fortnight but as she watched the teenager, unbroken and seeming to be somewhat stable, the dark mage wondered about whether it was necessary. The pain seemed to have lessened and Kalama already knew that the girl had a strong will. Besides that, the blonde was rather keen to begin on the next step of her work, a step that she had been pondering about moments before. Frankly, the fact that Lehanna had come out of the cave with her mind intact was enough to prove to the blonde that she was up for the challenges that she would no doubt have to face.

Crouching down before the girl, she would state after a few moments. “That cave was due to be your final test, a chance for you to prove to me that you were capable of surviving what was to come. The fact that you took it on so soon after being cursed and survived is more than enough evidence for me. If you wish to leave now then I will not stop you. Return to your guild and those who care about you but remember that you will still suffer from the pain while the curse adjusts to you. Do not push yourself too far until it has subsided otherwise you will find yourself in severe trouble. Take things easy and catch up on some reading or something. More importantly, remember what I said about trusting those closest to you. Do not be afraid to open up to them and to tell them the truth. You will need them in the days ahead and they will not give a fuck about your appearance, if what you have told me about them is true.”

Standing back up, she would then add. “Go home to your girlfriend, Lehanna, I am sure that she must be worried sick by now.”

A smirk crossed her features briefly at that point, eyeing the girl’s tail one final time. “Try to keep control of that tail of yours as well, unless you fancy making an ass of yourself by falling over it in front of her.”

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Honestly, she was rather surprised that Kalama kept to her word and allowed her to leave. If she had to guess the worst case scenario, she would have kept her in her sights at all times and tried to push her towards the brink of mental breaking just to get the girl to see her way. But, perhaps in that way she would just become a lost cause meant to be slaughtered like those the blonde used to know. Maybe if she’s lucky, the teen could happen upon her friend Aoi and learn from her in how to live with and overcome the curse. Only then could she be able to turn this into its own gift and make this woman regret her life choices altogether.

What did catch to her more was how much advisement and caution she was being given by Kalama. Surely she would want her to be rejected and come crawling back. Or maybe even then Lehanna might do so if she tried and the opposite of the woman’s ‘hopes’ came to an end and they rejected her. But she had her hopes and her optimism was high at least in regards to her adopted mother. Elara on the other hand… that was her bigger worry. She cared deeply for what the girl thought, maybe more than she even figured. It made her wonder why she got so flustered whenever someone brought up them together, however she couldn’t disagree with them either. ”She’s not my girlfriend!” The girl yelled out, cheeks flushed and letting out a huff.

Letting out a sigh, the cursed teen tried to compose herself and looked up toward the older woman. ”I… don’t necessarily think you deserve these words, but… thank you. Despite you forcing this on me, it means a lot to have someone there. I don’t get that luxury much from strangers even if it’s to suit their own needs. But don’t think I’m not going to come back and kill you one day, you got that?” Her seemingly neutral expression turned to a glare, coupled by the silent wisp. It wasn’t until she walked away that it started to mumble something. Distracting her just enough to trip over her tail and making the creature let out a hearty laugh. ”You shut up!” She yelled in a flustered manner, jumping to her feet and starting to head off, hoping at least Kalama didn’t see that. At least it wasn’t Elara that saw…

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