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    Inner Presence

    Kyran
    Kyran

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    Lineage : Inner Presence
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    Partner : Gaia
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    Guild : Meliora Vitae
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    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sol
    Experience : 1,126,081

    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Mystic Blood Beasts
    Second Magic: Flame God Slayer 2nd Gen
    Third Magic: Sky Demon Slayer 2nd Gen

    Inner Presence Empty Inner Presence

    Post by Kyran 15th November 2018, 7:37 pm

    Lineage Name: Inner Presence
    Wielder: Kyran Dyer
    Purchase Proof: General Store: Page 9, Post n°222

    Lore:
    On another plane, not much different from Earthland, five demonic tribes evolved over time. They evolved quickly due to warfare. Multiple demon tribes existed at one time but each was wiped out until only these five remained: Violence, Challenge, Justice (truly Vengeance), Mischief and Lust. These five battled until their plane was destroyed. The plane began to fracture from their constant fighting. Yet none could gain the leverage needed to overcome the others. One day, a rift to Earthland opened up. For a moment, there was a pause. Several demons from every tribe managed to slip through before the fighting resumed.
    Those that slipped through had different approaches to their invasion. Some spread wanton destruction. Others manipulated humans to self-destruction. Even others spread about their 'influence', creating mixed-breed offspring with the species of Earthland. Every demon was hunted down by high ranking mages. As the mages hunted them down, some of the demons slipped back through the rift. This allowed the mages to find and seal the rift, isolated the final invaders.
    Those left with no way to return to their home plane came together. They decided to combine their respective abilities. Using some of the humans that had been manipulated, the demons poured part of their essence into them. Only one was blessed with the essence of all five. The demons prepared for their demise. Each human blessed was instructed to create a bloodline. A legacy that would carry their power down through the ages. That way, when the rift opened again, their power would come forth once more. A demon army would be birthed to overtake Earthland. Their revenge against the mages and conquering of this plane would be complete.
    Unfortunately for the demons, things didn't work quite as they planned. Some of the bloodlines died out. Others randomly manifested their power, leading to those individuals being wiped out. The humans that the demons 'blessed' faded into obscurity. Their descendants are constantly plagued by this 'blessing'. This unfortunate individual is one such being that manifested the demons' blessings.

    Abilities:

    ~Authority of Justice:
    The angel within Kyran gives him not only a stronger sense of justice but the ability to dispense it where he needs to. This ability allows Kyran to, once per post, negate a spell within 120 meters of S rank or lower at the cost of the spell's original MP. His MP is passively increased by 60% to better achieve this.

    ~Shades of Mischief:
    Kyran has many demons with him, each with their own distinct personalities, one of these demons is mischievous and likes to play tricks especially when bored. Every trickster needs a partner in crime or so they say, Kyran just happens to be the partner in crime on this occasion. This ability allows Kyran to gain a 60% passive increase to his spell speed and spell range.

    ~Pleasurable Desires:
    As stated before those that call Kyran home all have distinct personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and likes. One of those demons has nothing more than what is pleasurable to them on their minds and how to get those shiny things that would help them get what they want. This ability allows Kyran the ability to renegotiate for double the pay on any job that he does. it also passively increases his HP by 30%.

    ~Demonic Ire:
    Kyran like any other being is known to give in to his anger but when he does it generally comes out with devastating fallout. This ability gives Kyran not only a passive 60% increase to any spell damage but allows the first offensive attack that he does each round to gain the piercing effect even if the spell itself does not state it. The spell will at that point also have to follow the piercing effect rules and may only affect spells of S rank or lower.

    ~Surpassing Challenge:
    Thanks to one of those inside Kyran he is known to be terribly stubborn when it comes to challenges and refuses to let up even when he and his body know they should. This ability allows Kyran's magic pool to increase by user rank passive buff (capping at S) but gives him a passive 30% damage reduction to incoming damage from physical sources.


    Last edited by Kyran on 4th March 2020, 3:42 pm; edited 6 times in total


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Tempeste
    Tempeste

    She wolf


    She wolf

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    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Culinarian's Craft
    Second Magic: N/A
    Third Magic: N/A

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Tempeste 4th December 2018, 8:18 pm

    Hi there! It's Rin here! Once again, I'm terribly sorry for the long wait! There's a lot to work with here, so I'm just going to ask for a couple things to start with, and we can go from there! My edits will be in this color! Just give this thread a bump once you've made the changes!

    ♥:
    @Kyran wrote:Lineage Name: Demon’s Blood
    Wielder: Kyran Dyer
    Purchase Proof: General Store: Page 9, Post n°222

    Description
    Many eons ago, demons mingled with the human population. While most of their interactions led to a gruesome death, in a few cases, halflings were born. Half demon, half human monsters which were capable of not only great acts of evil but also great acts of good. Their magic made them subject of legend. However as with all things, legends faded and the halflings were forgotten. They left behind a legacy. A legacy hidden within the blood of their descendants which can only be accessed by a handful. This legacy is the ability to transform their body into an approximation of their darkest selves. To wield strength, speed and power for a short amount of time. However, there is a downside to this awesome power. Should a descendent of the halflings grow too emotional and access this power before they’re ready, their demonic instincts will take hold with the transformation. They will lash out at everything and everyone, driven only by the need for violence, pain and blood. Many come out of their transformations with only a hazy memory and the blood of their loved ones on their hands. For the select few that can control the power hidden within their blood, it can become a powerful tool.

    Abilities:
    Demonic Heritage: Kyran has a passive 25% resistance against darkness and fire related attacks. He can also dig deep to summon a dark fire to his hand. The fireball can be thrown and does D rank single target damage. He must wait 2 posts before using the fire again.

    Major Demonic Form: Kyran will be able to drink blood of his enemy and turn into various manifestations which increases various attributes.  His various forms are Violence, Lust, Challenge, and Mischief. Each form lasts 4 posts from consummation of blood and has a 6 post cooldown. The cooldown must be complete before another form can be taken. Kyran can alternatively drink his own blood to trigger this transformation but will only have a 2 post duration with a 6 post cooldown and will not gain certain benefits from the transformation.
    ~Violence: Kyran transforms into a demonic wolf with tremendous strength (+100% strength boost +25% damage resistance) and the ability to heal serious wounds rapidly upon consumption of blood (Heal user-ranked damage when consuming blood/flesh). Bite attacks for example would heal him per bite attack (if he hits/draws blood)).  Using his own blood will halve the benefits gained by this transformation (+50% strength, +12% damage resistance, half healing from blood consumption). During this state, Kyran tends to become insane, and will attack anything he sees. It takes a great amount of concentration for him not to go insane or attack everything he can see.
    ~Lust: Kyran transforms into a demonic snake. His speed increases by 75%, 10% damage resistance to everything, and he gains a passive 2% HP/MP regen. In addition, he gains an ability to emit a pheromone from his wrist. Those that breathe it in take user-rank damage and fall under Kyran’s command for 2 posts(OOC permission required). If he uses his own blood, Kyran doesn’t get the HP/MP regen, only gets a 5% damage resistance and a 42% speed increase.
    ~Challenge: Kyran transforms into a demonic cat which increases his strength and speed by 50% and a 25% damage resistance against everything including magic damage as well as gaining a 2% HP/MP regen. Drinking his own blood to activate the change removes the 2% HP/MP regen.
    ~Mischief: Kyran transforms into a shadowy demon with horns, wings, and markings that glow in a bright neon green color. In this form, Kyran’s magic capabilities become unusable. Though his magic is not accessible, they gain immense surge in physical speed (75%), strength (25%), and durability (+50% temporary HP). He also gains the ability to shoot blasts of dark energy from his body that deals user ranked spell damage. The temporary HP is taken first before true HP. When he uses his own blood, the bonuses are halved (48% speed increase, 12% strength increase, 25% temp HP) and he can’t shoot dark energy from his body.

    Minor Demonic Form: Kyran can bring the demons and angel possessing his body to the fore in order to gain a minor benefit from them. Once he releases the demon from the fore, he must wait 2 posts before bringing another forward. Otherwise, the strain can send him into a frenzy.
            ~ Medea is a cat-like demon who prefers to show everyone that she is the best. She constantly whispers into Kyran’s mind to beat other people by whatever means necessary. When she is brought to the forefront, Kyran gains a passive increase to magical potency of 60%. She also longs to transform Kyran, to make him better, but at the moment lacks the means to do so. When she is at the forefront, Kyran has golden cat eyes and tawny colored fur upon his arms and legs as well as a long tawny cat’s tail.
            ~ Ahriman is a wolf-like demon who wants nothing more than for Kyran to revel in blood and destruction. He prowls the edge of Kyran’s mind, waiting for his opportunity to strike and take over. When he is at the forefront, Kyran has a passive increase of 60% for strength and has red eyes that lack a pupil. Kyran will sometimes grow deep red fur along his arms and legs as well.
           ~ Erebos has no conceivable form, merely being a shadow upon Kyran’s psyche. It encourages Kyran to steal the shiny things, to be a little bad sometimes, though never anything major. When Erebos is at the forefront, Kyran has a 60% passive increase to speed and Kyran’s hands and part of his arms appear to be black as well as wispy. His eyes become a deep green color with a toad’s pupil.
           ~ Malinda is a serpent demon, Kyran is most cautious with. She can slide from being sweet and encouraging to slithering across his mind, wanting him to seduce the nearest woman or man. Kyran gets a 60% passive increase to magical resistance when Malinda is at the forefront. His eyes change ever so slightly, becoming more purple than blue. His back also has a scattering of scales directly up the spine.
           ~Eae is the newest addition to the group and an angel. An angel of just what she won’t tell Kyran but she does constantly admonish him for various behaviors or whisper encouragement in his ear for specific actions. When she is at the forefront, Kyran gains a 40% increase to speed and 40% melee damage. His eyes turn a vivid blue and tiny feathered wings sprout from his back.

    Demonic Surge: The demon in Kyran’s blood has been awakened for such a long time, it is beginning to subtly change his body. He has a 2% HP regen, a 40% physical damage resistance and a 25% increase in speed. Kyran must also carefully control his emotions or the demon in his blood will rise up. He experiences intense emotions which can be to his detriment if he cannot control them.

    Okay. So as it stands, this lineage is EXTREMELY overpowered. The abilities you have have way too many subcategories. So right now, there's two options. The first option is that you reduce the number of abilities you have to 3, and reduce the amount of subcategories in those big ones to 2 each. Or, you can change those two abilities so that they only have one subcategory, and keep the 4 abilities you have. Once this is done, I can delve further into grading the abilities themselves. ^w^


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Inner Presence Iwr1Uh2
    Kyran
    Kyran

    Main Account- Get Married- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- A-Rank- Wanderer- Working Together- Forever Solo- Christian Minecraft Server- Teaming Up!- Unknown Powerhouse- Achiever- Obligatory Beach Episode- Shipped- Sticking Around- Character Application Approved!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Player 
    Lineage : Inner Presence
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    Guild : Meliora Vitae
    Cosmic Coins : 0
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    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sol
    Experience : 1,126,081

    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Mystic Blood Beasts
    Second Magic: Flame God Slayer 2nd Gen
    Third Magic: Sky Demon Slayer 2nd Gen

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Kyran 5th December 2018, 5:49 pm

    Bump

    Added once per thread for Major Form but I foresee more edits needing to be made
    Removed the Demonic Heritage ability


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Blood Plus
    Blood Plus

    Lightning Bolt Gif


    Lightning Bolt Gif

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    Lineage : Huntress Mango
    Position : None
    Posts : 705
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    Cosmic Coins : 25
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    Age : 23
    Mentor : Zeus & Rin Mayou
    Experience : 2,013
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    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Thunder God Slayer
    Second Magic: N/A
    Third Magic: N/A

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Blood Plus 12th December 2018, 9:07 pm

    Hey, mate. Dropping in to take-over this magic due to a few complications. My comment is in this color.

    Spoiler:
    Lineage Name: Demon’s Blood
    Wielder: Kyran Dyer
    Purchase Proof: General Store: Page 9, Post n°222

    Description
    Many eons ago, demons mingled with the human population. While most of their interactions led to a gruesome death, in a few cases, halflings were born. Half demon, half human monsters which were capable of not only great acts of evil but also great acts of good. Their magic made them subject of legend. However as with all things, legends faded and the halflings were forgotten. They left behind a legacy. A legacy hidden within the blood of their descendants which can only be accessed by a handful. This legacy is the ability to transform their body into an approximation of their darkest selves. To wield strength, speed and power for a short amount of time. However, there is a downside to this awesome power. Should a descendent of the halflings grow too emotional and access this power before they’re ready, their demonic instincts will take hold with the transformation. They will lash out at everything and everyone, driven only by the need for violence, pain and blood. Many come out of their transformations with only a hazy memory and the blood of their loved ones on their hands. For the select few that can control the power hidden within their blood, it can become a powerful tool.

    Abilities:

    Major Demonic Form: Kyran will be able to drink blood of his enemy and turn into various manifestations which increases various attributes.  His various forms are Violence, Lust, Challenge, and Mischief. Each form lasts 4 posts from consummation of blood and this ability in its entirety may only be used once per thread. Kyran can alternatively drink his own blood to trigger this transformation but will only have a 2 post duration with a 6 post cooldown and will not gain certain benefits from the transformation.
    ~Violence: Kyran transforms into a demonic wolf with tremendous strength (+100% strength boost +25% damage resistance) and the ability to heal serious wounds rapidly upon consumption of blood (Heal user-ranked damage when consuming blood/flesh). Bite attacks for example would heal him per bite attack (if he hits/draws blood)).  Using his own blood will halve the benefits gained by this transformation (+50% strength, +12% damage resistance, half healing from blood consumption). During this state, Kyran tends to become insane, and will attack anything he sees. It takes a great amount of concentration for him not to go insane or attack everything he can see.
    ~Lust: Kyran transforms into a demonic snake. His speed increases by 75%, 10% damage resistance to everything, and he gains a passive 2% HP/MP regen. In addition, he gains an ability to emit a pheromone from his wrist. Those that breathe it in take user-rank damage and fall under Kyran’s command for 2 posts(OOC permission required). If he uses his own blood, Kyran doesn’t get the HP/MP regen, only gets a 5% damage resistance and a 42% speed increase.
    ~Challenge: Kyran transforms into a demonic cat which increases his strength and speed by 50% and a 25% damage resistance against everything including magic damage as well as gaining a 2% HP/MP regen. Drinking his own blood to activate the change removes the 2% HP/MP regen.
    ~Mischief: Kyran transforms into a shadowy demon with horns, wings, and markings that glow in a bright neon green color. In this form, Kyran’s magic capabilities become unusable. Though his magic is not accessible, they gain immense surge in physical speed (75%), strength (25%), and durability (+50% temporary HP). He also gains the ability to shoot blasts of dark energy from his body that deals user ranked spell damage. The temporary HP is taken first before true HP. When he uses his own blood, the bonuses are halved (48% speed increase, 12% strength increase, 25% temp HP) and he can’t shoot dark energy from his body.

    Minor Demonic Form: Kyran can bring the demons and angel possessing his body to the fore in order to gain a minor benefit from them. Once he releases the demon from the fore, he must wait 2 posts before bringing another forward.  
            ~ Medea is a cat-like demon who prefers to show everyone that she is the best. She constantly whispers into Kyran’s mind to beat other people by whatever means necessary. When she is brought to the forefront, Kyran gains a passive increase to magical potency of 60%. She also longs to transform Kyran, to make him better, but at the moment lacks the means to do so. When she is at the forefront, Kyran has golden cat eyes and tawny colored fur upon his arms and legs as well as a long tawny cat’s tail.
            ~ Ahriman is a wolf-like demon who wants nothing more than for Kyran to revel in blood and destruction. He prowls the edge of Kyran’s mind, waiting for his opportunity to strike and take over. When he is at the forefront, Kyran has a passive increase of 60% for strength and has red eyes that lack a pupil. Kyran will sometimes grow deep red fur along his arms and legs as well.
           ~ Erebos has no conceivable form, merely being a shadow upon Kyran’s psyche. It encourages Kyran to steal the shiny things, to be a little bad sometimes, though never anything major. When Erebos is at the forefront, Kyran has a 60% passive increase to speed and Kyran’s hands and part of his arms appear to be black as well as wispy. His eyes become a deep green color with a toad’s pupil.
           ~ Malinda is a serpent demon, Kyran is most cautious with. She can slide from being sweet and encouraging to slithering across his mind, wanting him to seduce the nearest woman or man. Kyran gets a 60% passive increase to magical resistance when Malinda is at the forefront. His eyes change ever so slightly, becoming more purple than blue. His back also has a scattering of scales directly up the spine.
           ~Eae is the newest addition to the group and an angel. An angel of just what she won’t tell Kyran but she does constantly admonish him for various behaviors or whisper encouragement in his ear for specific actions. When she is at the forefront, Kyran gains a 40% increase to speed and 40% melee damage. His eyes turn a vivid blue and tiny feathered wings sprout from his back.

    Demonic Surge: The demon in Kyran’s blood has been awakened for such a long time, it is beginning to subtly change his body. He has a 2% HP regen, a 40% physical damage resistance and a 25% increase in speed. Kyran must also carefully control his emotions or the demon in his blood will rise up. He experiences intense emotions which can be to his detriment if he cannot control them.

    I can only see this as a form of take-over to be honest. This strikes me more as a magic than a lineage ability. I understand that with purchasing a custom lineage, you're granted the freedom to create abilities of your own choosing but you're still expected to operate within the parameters of what a lineage can do. For example, I have a personal limit of five abilities per lineage. This is what I've been doing with gradings in the past and this is the consensus lineages usually follow. I count ten abilities so far. That doesn't include the fact that I see this as more of a magic than a lineage. I mean you're transforming into other beings which grants you buffs and certain abilities, the essence of a take-over without the extra spells. I'd view a lineage as you having one transformation and this gives you certain abilities. At the very least, I'd expect you to only have five transformations, each can have their separate abilities but they'd have to be within reason and can't stack.


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    •  DIRECTORY

    Inner Presence CNMQ731
    Kyran
    Kyran

    Main Account- Get Married- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- A-Rank- Wanderer- Working Together- Forever Solo- Christian Minecraft Server- Teaming Up!- Unknown Powerhouse- Achiever- Obligatory Beach Episode- Shipped- Sticking Around- Character Application Approved!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Player 
    Lineage : Inner Presence
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    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sol
    Experience : 1,126,081

    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Mystic Blood Beasts
    Second Magic: Flame God Slayer 2nd Gen
    Third Magic: Sky Demon Slayer 2nd Gen

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Kyran 19th January 2019, 10:05 pm

    Bump

    Rewrote the entire lineage to try and make it abide by the rules


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Nero
    Nero

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    Lineage : Assassin's Shadow
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    First Magic:
    Second Magic:
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    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Nero 28th January 2019, 6:07 am

    Yo Key, looks like this ended up in my hands. All of my edits will be in this colour

    Spoiler:
    @Kyran wrote:Lineage Name: Demon’s Blood
    Wielder: Kyran Dyer
    Purchase Proof: General Store: Page 9, Post n°222

    Description At one time, the world of Earth Land was inhabited by five clans of demons. They each embodied what they thought was the best trait for the dominance of the world: Violence, Challenge, Lust, Mischief and Justice. Each clan was distinct in how they functioned as well as how they appeared. Disagreements between the clans were almost always violent. Wherever the clans met, bloody battle was almost sure to follow. The numbers of the clans stayed fairly the same as they struggled to balance survival with their need for war. As such, the clans warred with each other for centuries, never changing.
    The arrival of the dragons and later on, humans, changed the war for the worse. The clans found tools in these races that were capable of change. Some clans enslaved them. Some granted them magic. Some took them as slaves. Still others manipulated them. Before long, the new races were entrenched in the war of the five clans almost as if they’d been fighting it all along. It didn’t change the outcome of the war but merely increased the body count coming from every battle. Demon bodies lay with humans and dragons, coating miles of Earth Land in their spilled blood.
    It was a human that changed the course of the war for the detriment of the clans. One of them suggested that the clans become allies to crush the remaining clans. This change in tactics quickly began bleeding the clans of any and all warriors. When the clans were weak, the dragons and humans turned upon them. The combined might of these ‘weaker’ races ensured that the clans would never recover. The five clans went into decline, slowly wasting away as the humans and dragons took over as rulers of Earth Land. Some of the humans took to hunting demons for fun. Dragons that found any demons in their territory either sealed them or destroyed them. There was no place for demons anymore.
    When the clans had been whittled down to near nothing, the last remaining members banded together. With their combined magical strength, they passed their genes into six human bloodlines. Their magic ensured the bloodlines would never die out. Special members of each bloodline would be able to access the mystical powers of their demonic ancestors. The final sixth bloodline was given powers from every single clan. They were meant to rule the world, should they so be inclined. A final triumph against the blasted humans and dragons. Winding through time, we come to the latest of the sixth bloodline: You.

    ~Violence: Those of the Violence demon clan were stronger than the other demons. They also happened to be skilled in transformation under the right circumstances – mainly drinking blood. Those with this lineage struggle with bloodlust and tend to have shifting features as a result of the Violence demons. They also have a passive 20% increase to strength. When the user drinks the blood of their enemies, they transform into a demonic beast covered in glowing markings. In this beast form, the user’s magical abilities are no longer accessible. Though their magic isn’t useable, they gain a surge in physical speed (75%), strength (75%), 2% HP/MP regen (Is this per post ? If so please specify) and the ability to shoot blasts of dark energy from their body that deals user ranked spell damage. (All I need for these blasts of darkness is range and speed)
    Usage: Passive. Transformation lasts 4 posts from when blood was last consumed and has a 6 post cooldown until it can be used again. The user can alternatively drink their own blood to trigger the transformation but that will only have a 2 post duration with a 6 post cooldown, 50% speed & strength and will not have the 2% HP/MP regen.

    ~Challenge: The demons of Challenge were keen on dominating their opponents and eliminating any chance of losing. They wished to be the best of the best, always on the top of the heap. The user of this lineage can emit an Aura of Dominance, something any animal can feel. This aura will trigger a submission or a challenge in a beast – in other words a beast will submit to the Alpha or fight the user to be Alpha. Since the demons were mainly catlike, the user also almost always lands on their feet. The user gains a 20% increase in speed. They can also create a shockwave by stomping their foot. The shockwave triggers the aggression centers of the brain and makes allies turn on one another. Everyone hit by the wave sees everyone else as a potential challenger.
    Usage: Shockwave does user rank AOE damage and has user rank AOE range (This still needs a speed). Those hit by the shockwave gain a 10% increase to strength. They also become aggressive to every living thing in sight. Allies become threats, neutral targets become enemies and enemies become monstrosities. This state of mind (as well as the buff) lasts 3 posts. After the state ends, those affected have a 25% debuff to their strength and speed for 2 posts. (I need you to specify that this ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPC's or event NPC's)

    ~Lust: The demons of the Lust clan were intent upon using their passion above all else. That passion could be directed at anything or anyone and didn’t need to be sexual in nature. A lust for domination is just as potent as regular person to person lust. This clan’s blood gives the user the ability to smooth away age or enhance the terrifying aspects of their appearance should they so desire. This is a simple glamour only and most can see through it with careful examination. The truly terrifying aspect of this bloodline is the ability it grants the user. They create a field around themselves in which one thing is ultimately attracted to them: metal, cloth, wood, mana or health among other things. The category chosen must be absolute and it cannot be elemental. It can’t be used to attract everything within the aura. The aura can also not be used on magical items/weapons/armor.
    Usage: The aura, once activated is equivalent of one rank lower than the user’s rank AOE range (This requires a speed). Within that range, the user has control over objects of the category chosen when the aura is activated (Can this be used to attack/defend against/negate spells or abilities with these elements or is this simply for story purposes? Please clarify). The aura is always centered on the user and moves with them as they move. It lasts 3 posts. If the category is mana or health, the user rips user rank damage (if health) or 5% (if mana) from every person/creature within reach. The collected mass drifts in the space of the aura and the user can absorb only 5% total each post.

    ~Mischief: Speed was the thing that the demons of Mischief relied upon. Speed and little effects to keep anyone from noticing them. It helped them slip from place to place, planning their attacks carefully. This clan watched the world from the shadows by being conspicuous. No one ever suspected the annoying ones might in fact be as deadly as their cousins. The user of this lineage has near no scent thanks to this clan and tend to almost disappear into the shadows if no one is really looking at them. They also have the ability to make small harmless flashes of light or bursts of sound. They also have a 40% increase to speed. The user can also slip from shadow to shadow and create a hallucinogenic effect on those they touch.
    Usage: The user can teleport user rank burst damage (Teleport burst damage? I assume you mean range here, please clarify) once per thread provided there are enough shadows to cover at least to their knees. They can also, by touching someone’s skin, cause a person to lose their sense of balance, invert colors a person sees, make everything bright and create after shadows whenever they turn their head to fast. The general effect makes it hard for the person to see and walk. This effect lasts 2 posts. (I need you to specify that this ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPC's or event NPC's)

    ~Justice: The demons of Justice were sometimes called angels. They policed the other demonic clans more than they preyed upon the other races. More often than not they were called upon to mediate the disputes between opposing parties. The majority of their abilities and why they were called Justice demons were related to their eyes. Many of them were blinded when foes attacked. Thus many Justice demons wore cloth over their eyes, either to hide that they’d already lost them or to hide that they still had them. They passed on the power of their eyes to those with this lineage. The user of this lineage need merely look at someone while they’re talking to discern a lie when it is told. Their eyes also hold the power of law, truth and penance, not to mention the darker side of justice, Vengeance. The user can induce someone to tell the truth, though it doesn’t work well against other mages, simply by looking deep into the other person’s eyes. In a similar fashion, the user can bind one opponent to a specific Law or paralyze them. In extreme cases, the user can force their body to become the embodiment of vengeance, losing their eyesight for a time and guided only by their sense of ‘justice’
    Usage: While in combat, the user must look into an opponent’s eyes to enact one of two effects. The first paralyzes the opponent for 1 post (I need you to specify a max range and a speed for this ability, otherwise it would be an auto-hit). The second forces them to adhere to a simple ‘Law’ for a single post. This Law cannot be something like ‘You cannot breathe’. It must be a cause and effect such as ‘If you jump, you cannot breathe’. Obviously if the cause doesn’t happen, the Law doesn’t come into effect (I need you to specify that this ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPC's or event NPC's). Adversely, the user can turn the power of their eyes on themselves. They create a law that causes them to transform for 2 posts. Their eyes turn black and they gain a thermal vision that shows only those that have wronged another plus a blurry grey outline of their surroundings. It must have been a deliberate wrong and not accidental (This also needs OOC permission). Against these opponents/people only, the user gains a 25% increase to speed and strength. Their body may undertake a few changes when using this ability that have no effect on combat such as change in skin or visage. Generally, these changes are only meant to make the user seem more terrifying to those they are smiting with vengeance.

    When you've made the requested edits gimme a bump and I'll get back to you asap


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Kyran
    Kyran

    Main Account- Get Married- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- A-Rank- Wanderer- Working Together- Forever Solo- Christian Minecraft Server- Teaming Up!- Unknown Powerhouse- Achiever- Obligatory Beach Episode- Shipped- Sticking Around- Character Application Approved!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Player 
    Lineage : Inner Presence
    Position : None
    Partner : Gaia
    Posts : 614
    Guild : Meliora Vitae
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sol
    Experience : 1,126,081

    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Mystic Blood Beasts
    Second Magic: Flame God Slayer 2nd Gen
    Third Magic: Sky Demon Slayer 2nd Gen

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Kyran 28th January 2019, 5:28 pm

    Bump
    All requested edits made


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Nero
    Nero

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Main Account- Mythical VIP Status- Demon VIP Status- God VIP Status- Dragon VIP Status- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Mythical- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishval- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- Custom Slayer- God Slayer- Demon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- Neutral Guild Ace- Z-Rank- Y-Rank- X-Rank- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Wanderer- Eevee- EXP Grinder- Jewel Grinder- Job Creator- Working Together- Forever Solo- Christian Minecraft Server- I Have Friends...- Teaming Up!- Limited Edition- Idolize- Unknown Powerhouse- Unknown Legend- The Completionist- Guild Creator- Achiever- Expert Achiever- Buddy Buddy- Obligatory Beach Episode- Shipped- Sticking Around- Loyal to the Bone- Dank Memer- Fan Artist- Taskmaster- Halloween gfx'ers- Halloween Social- Halloween job event participant - Fan Art Contest Participant- Haiku Contest Participant- Lineage Making Contest Participant- Richie Rich- Rich- Veteran Level 6- Veteran Level 5- Veteran Level 4- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character Application Approved!- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Tertiary Magic- Supreme Grand Master [5000]- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- 3rd Place Event/Contest Winner- Christmas Event Winner- X-Mas Event Participant- Advertisement Achievement Badge- Tournament Participation Badge- Cookie Achievement- Cupcake Achievement- Rainbow Hero- Summer Special Tier 4- Summer Special Tier 3- Summer Special Tier 2- Summer Special Tier 1- Summer Special Donor- Summer Special Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player-
    Lineage : Assassin's Shadow
    Position : None
    Posts : 10668
    Guild : Rune Knights
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 24
    Experience : 3,108,432
    Brownie Points : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    Character Sheet
    First Magic:
    Second Magic:
    Third Magic:

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Nero 29th January 2019, 3:19 am

    Inner Presence FbVA7uB

    Spoiler:

    @Kyran wrote:Lineage Name: Demon’s Blood
    Wielder: Kyran Dyer
    Purchase Proof: General Store: Page 9, Post n°222

    Description At one time, the world of Earth Land was inhabited by five clans of demons. They each embodied what they thought was the best trait for the dominance of the world: Violence, Challenge, Lust, Mischief and Justice. Each clan was distinct in how they functioned as well as how they appeared. Disagreements between the clans were almost always violent. Wherever the clans met, bloody battle was almost sure to follow. The numbers of the clans stayed fairly the same as they struggled to balance survival with their need for war. As such, the clans warred with each other for centuries, never changing.
    The arrival of the dragons and later on, humans, changed the war for the worse. The clans found tools in these races that were capable of change. Some clans enslaved them. Some granted them magic. Some took them as slaves. Still others manipulated them. Before long, the new races were entrenched in the war of the five clans almost as if they’d been fighting it all along. It didn’t change the outcome of the war but merely increased the body count coming from every battle. Demon bodies lay with humans and dragons, coating miles of Earth Land in their spilled blood.
    It was a human that changed the course of the war for the detriment of the clans. One of them suggested that the clans become allies to crush the remaining clans. This change in tactics quickly began bleeding the clans of any and all warriors. When the clans were weak, the dragons and humans turned upon them. The combined might of these ‘weaker’ races ensured that the clans would never recover. The five clans went into decline, slowly wasting away as the humans and dragons took over as rulers of Earth Land. Some of the humans took to hunting demons for fun. Dragons that found any demons in their territory either sealed them or destroyed them. There was no place for demons anymore.
    When the clans had been whittled down to near nothing, the last remaining members banded together. With their combined magical strength, they passed their genes into six human bloodlines. Their magic ensured the bloodlines would never die out. Special members of each bloodline would be able to access the mystical powers of their demonic ancestors. The final sixth bloodline was given powers from every single clan. They were meant to rule the world, should they so be inclined. A final triumph against the blasted humans and dragons. Winding through time, we come to the latest of the sixth bloodline: You.

    ~Violence: Those of the Violence demon clan were stronger than the other demons. They also happened to be skilled in transformation under the right circumstances – mainly drinking blood. Those with this lineage struggle with bloodlust and tend to have shifting features as a result of the Violence demons. They also have a passive 20% increase to strength. When the user drinks the blood of their enemies, they transform into a demonic beast covered in glowing markings. In this beast form, the user’s magical abilities are no longer accessible. Though their magic isn’t usable, they gain a surge in physical speed (75%), strength (75%), 2% HP/MP regen per post and the ability to shoot blasts of dark energy from their body that deals user ranked spell damage. The dark energy blasts have a range of user ranked single target and a speed of user ranked single target.
    Usage: Passive. Transformation lasts 4 posts from when blood was last consumed and has a 6 post cooldown until it can be used again. The user can alternatively drink their own blood to trigger the transformation but that will only have a 2 post duration with a 6 post cooldown, 50% speed & strength and will not have the 2% HP/MP regen.

    ~Challenge: The demons of Challenge were keen on dominating their opponents and eliminating any chance of losing. They wished to be the best of the best, always on the top of the heap. The user of this lineage can emit an Aura of Dominance, something any animal can feel. This aura will trigger a submission or a challenge in a beast – in other words a beast will submit to the Alpha or fight the user to be Alpha. Since the demons were mainly catlike, the user also almost always lands on their feet. The user gains a 20% increase in speed. They can also create a shockwave by stomping their foot. The shockwave triggers the aggression centers of the brain and makes allies turn on one another. Everyone hit by the wave sees everyone else as a potential challenger.
    Usage: Shockwave does user rank AOE damage and has user rank AOE range & speed. Those hit by the shockwave gain a 10% increase to strength. They also become aggressive to every living thing in sight. Allies become threats, neutral targets become enemies and enemies become monstrosities. This state of mind (as well as the buff) lasts 3 posts. After the state ends, those affected have a 25% debuff to their strength and speed for 2 posts. This ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPCs or event NPCs.

    ~Lust: The demons of the Lust clan were intent upon using their passion above all else. That passion could be directed at anything or anyone and didn’t need to be sexual in nature. A lust for domination is just as potent as regular person to person lust. This clan’s blood gives the user the ability to smooth away age or enhance the terrifying aspects of their appearance should they so desire. This is a simple glamour only and most can see through it with careful examination. The truly terrifying aspect of this bloodline is the ability it grants the user. They create a field around themselves in which one thing is ultimately attracted to them: metal, cloth, wood, mana or health among other things. The category chosen must be absolute and it cannot be elemental. It can’t be used to attract everything within the aura. The aura can also not be used on magical items/weapons/armor.
    Usage: The aura, once activated is equivalent of one rank lower than the user’s rank AOE range & speed. Within that range, the user has control over objects of the category chosen when the aura is activated. The objects can be used to deal user rank multitarget damage to anyone within range and can provide a 5% damage reduction against physical attacks, single target spells, and multitarget spells. They can be used one time only to negate a spell of one rank lower than the user’s rank. In doing so, the objects are used up and the user loses the damage reduction for the rest of the time this is active. The aura is always centered on the user and moves with them as they move. It lasts 3 posts. If the category is mana or health, the user rips user rank damage (if health) or 5% (if mana) from every person/creature within reach. The collected mass drifts in the space of the aura and the user can absorb only 5% total each post.

    ~Mischief: Speed was the thing that the demons of Mischief relied upon. Speed and little effects to keep anyone from noticing them. It helped them slip from place to place, planning their attacks carefully. This clan watched the world from the shadows by being conspicuous. No one ever suspected the annoying ones might in fact be as deadly as their cousins. The user of this lineage has near no scent thanks to this clan and tend to almost disappear into the shadows if no one is really looking at them. They also have the ability to make small harmless flashes of light or bursts of sound. They also have a 40% increase to speed. The user can also slip from shadow to shadow and create a hallucinogenic effect on those they touch.
    Usage: The user can teleport user rank burst range once per thread provided there are enough shadows to cover at least to their knees. They can also, by touching someone’s skin, cause a person to lose their sense of balance, invert colors a person sees, make everything bright and create after shadows whenever they turn their head to fast. The general effect makes it hard for the person to see and walk. This effect lasts 2 posts. This ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPCs or event NPCs.

    ~Justice: The demons of Justice were sometimes called angels. They policed the other demonic clans more than they preyed upon the other races. More often than not they were called upon to mediate the disputes between opposing parties. The majority of their abilities and why they were called Justice demons were related to their eyes. Many of them were blinded when foes attacked. Thus many Justice demons wore cloth over their eyes, either to hide that they’d already lost them or to hide that they still had them. They passed on the power of their eyes to those with this lineage. The user of this lineage need merely look at someone while they’re talking to discern a lie when it is told. Their eyes also hold the power of law, truth and penance, not to mention the darker side of justice, Vengeance. The user can induce someone to tell the truth, though it doesn’t work well against other mages, simply by looking deep into the other person’s eyes. In a similar fashion, the user can bind one opponent to a specific Law or paralyze them. In extreme cases, the user can force their body to become the embodiment of vengeance, losing their eyesight for a time and guided only by their sense of ‘justice’
    Usage: While in combat, the user must look into an opponent’s eyes to enact one of two effects. The first paralyzes the opponent for 1 post. This ability has a range and speed equal to user ranked single target spells. The second forces them to adhere to a simple ‘Law’ for a single post. This Law cannot be something like ‘You cannot breathe’. It must be a cause and effect such as ‘If you jump, you cannot breathe’. Obviously if the cause doesn’t happen, the Law doesn’t come into effect. This ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPCs or event NPCs. Adversely, the user can turn the power of their eyes on themselves. They create a law that causes them to transform for 2 posts. Their eyes turn black and they gain a thermal vision that shows only those that have wronged another plus a blurry grey outline of their surroundings. It must have been a deliberate wrong and not accidental. This requires OOC permission. Against these opponents/people only, the user gains a 25% increase to speed and strength. Their body may undertake a few changes when using this ability that have no effect on combat such as change in skin or visage. Generally, these changes are only meant to make the user seem more terrifying to those they are smiting with vengeance.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Nero
    Nero

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Main Account- Mythical VIP Status- Demon VIP Status- God VIP Status- Dragon VIP Status- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Mythical- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishval- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- Custom Slayer- God Slayer- Demon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- Neutral Guild Ace- Z-Rank- Y-Rank- X-Rank- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Wanderer- Eevee- EXP Grinder- Jewel Grinder- Job Creator- Working Together- Forever Solo- Christian Minecraft Server- I Have Friends...- Teaming Up!- Limited Edition- Idolize- Unknown Powerhouse- Unknown Legend- The Completionist- Guild Creator- Achiever- Expert Achiever- Buddy Buddy- Obligatory Beach Episode- Shipped- Sticking Around- Loyal to the Bone- Dank Memer- Fan Artist- Taskmaster- Halloween gfx'ers- Halloween Social- Halloween job event participant - Fan Art Contest Participant- Haiku Contest Participant- Lineage Making Contest Participant- Richie Rich- Rich- Veteran Level 6- Veteran Level 5- Veteran Level 4- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character Application Approved!- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Tertiary Magic- Supreme Grand Master [5000]- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- 3rd Place Event/Contest Winner- Christmas Event Winner- X-Mas Event Participant- Advertisement Achievement Badge- Tournament Participation Badge- Cookie Achievement- Cupcake Achievement- Rainbow Hero- Summer Special Tier 4- Summer Special Tier 3- Summer Special Tier 2- Summer Special Tier 1- Summer Special Donor- Summer Special Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player-
    Lineage : Assassin's Shadow
    Position : None
    Posts : 10668
    Guild : Rune Knights
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 24
    Experience : 3,108,432
    Brownie Points : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    Character Sheet
    First Magic:
    Second Magic:
    Third Magic:

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Nero 29th February 2020, 11:38 pm

    Moved and unlocked at the user's request

    Spoiler:
    @Kyran wrote:Lineage Name: Demon’s Blood
    Wielder: Kyran Dyer
    Purchase Proof: General Store: Page 9, Post n°222

    Description At one time, the world of Earth Land was inhabited by five clans of demons. They each embodied what they thought was the best trait for the dominance of the world: Violence, Challenge, Lust, Mischief and Justice. Each clan was distinct in how they functioned as well as how they appeared. Disagreements between the clans were almost always violent. Wherever the clans met, bloody battle was almost sure to follow. The numbers of the clans stayed fairly the same as they struggled to balance survival with their need for war. As such, the clans warred with each other for centuries, never changing.
    The arrival of the dragons and later on, humans, changed the war for the worse. The clans found tools in these races that were capable of change. Some clans enslaved them. Some granted them magic. Some took them as slaves. Still others manipulated them. Before long, the new races were entrenched in the war of the five clans almost as if they’d been fighting it all along. It didn’t change the outcome of the war but merely increased the body count coming from every battle. Demon bodies lay with humans and dragons, coating miles of Earth Land in their spilled blood.
    It was a human that changed the course of the war for the detriment of the clans. One of them suggested that the clans become allies to crush the remaining clans. This change in tactics quickly began bleeding the clans of any and all warriors. When the clans were weak, the dragons and humans turned upon them. The combined might of these ‘weaker’ races ensured that the clans would never recover. The five clans went into decline, slowly wasting away as the humans and dragons took over as rulers of Earth Land. Some of the humans took to hunting demons for fun. Dragons that found any demons in their territory either sealed them or destroyed them. There was no place for demons anymore.
    When the clans had been whittled down to near nothing, the last remaining members banded together. With their combined magical strength, they passed their genes into six human bloodlines. Their magic ensured the bloodlines would never die out. Special members of each bloodline would be able to access the mystical powers of their demonic ancestors. The final sixth bloodline was given powers from every single clan. They were meant to rule the world, should they so be inclined. A final triumph against the blasted humans and dragons. Winding through time, we come to the latest of the sixth bloodline: You.

    ~Violence: Those of the Violence demon clan were stronger than the other demons. They also happened to be skilled in transformation under the right circumstances – mainly drinking blood. Those with this lineage struggle with bloodlust and tend to have shifting features as a result of the Violence demons. They also have a passive 20% increase to strength. When the user drinks the blood of their enemies, they transform into a demonic beast covered in glowing markings. In this beast form, the user’s magical abilities are no longer accessible. Though their magic isn’t usable, they gain a surge in physical speed (75%), strength (75%), 2% HP/MP regen per post and the ability to shoot blasts of dark energy from their body that deals user ranked spell damage. The dark energy blasts have a range of user ranked single target and a speed of user ranked single target.
    Usage: Passive. Transformation lasts 4 posts from when blood was last consumed and has a 6 post cooldown until it can be used again. The user can alternatively drink their own blood to trigger the transformation but that will only have a 2 post duration with a 6 post cooldown, 50% speed & strength and will not have the 2% HP/MP regen.

    ~Challenge: The demons of Challenge were keen on dominating their opponents and eliminating any chance of losing. They wished to be the best of the best, always on the top of the heap. The user of this lineage can emit an Aura of Dominance, something any animal can feel. This aura will trigger a submission or a challenge in a beast – in other words a beast will submit to the Alpha or fight the user to be Alpha. Since the demons were mainly catlike, the user also almost always lands on their feet. The user gains a 20% increase in speed. They can also create a shockwave by stomping their foot. The shockwave triggers the aggression centers of the brain and makes allies turn on one another. Everyone hit by the wave sees everyone else as a potential challenger.
    Usage: Shockwave does user rank AOE damage and has user rank AOE range & speed. Those hit by the shockwave gain a 10% increase to strength. They also become aggressive to every living thing in sight. Allies become threats, neutral targets become enemies and enemies become monstrosities. This state of mind (as well as the buff) lasts 3 posts. After the state ends, those affected have a 25% debuff to their strength and speed for 2 posts. This ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPCs or event NPCs.

    ~Lust: The demons of the Lust clan were intent upon using their passion above all else. That passion could be directed at anything or anyone and didn’t need to be sexual in nature. A lust for domination is just as potent as regular person to person lust. This clan’s blood gives the user the ability to smooth away age or enhance the terrifying aspects of their appearance should they so desire. This is a simple glamour only and most can see through it with careful examination. The truly terrifying aspect of this bloodline is the ability it grants the user. They create a field around themselves in which one thing is ultimately attracted to them: metal, cloth, wood, mana or health among other things. The category chosen must be absolute and it cannot be elemental. It can’t be used to attract everything within the aura. The aura can also not be used on magical items/weapons/armor.
    Usage: The aura, once activated is equivalent of one rank lower than the user’s rank AOE range & speed. Within that range, the user has control over objects of the category chosen when the aura is activated. The objects can be used to deal user rank multitarget damage to anyone within range and can provide a 5% damage reduction against physical attacks, single target spells, and multitarget spells. They can be used one time only to negate a spell of one rank lower than the user’s rank. In doing so, the objects are used up and the user loses the damage reduction for the rest of the time this is active. The aura is always centered on the user and moves with them as they move. It lasts 3 posts. If the category is mana or health, the user rips user rank damage (if health) or 5% (if mana) from every person/creature within reach. The collected mass drifts in the space of the aura and the user can absorb only 5% total each post.

    ~Mischief: Speed was the thing that the demons of Mischief relied upon. Speed and little effects to keep anyone from noticing them. It helped them slip from place to place, planning their attacks carefully. This clan watched the world from the shadows by being conspicuous. No one ever suspected the annoying ones might in fact be as deadly as their cousins. The user of this lineage has near no scent thanks to this clan and tend to almost disappear into the shadows if no one is really looking at them. They also have the ability to make small harmless flashes of light or bursts of sound. They also have a 40% increase to speed. The user can also slip from shadow to shadow and create a hallucinogenic effect on those they touch.
    Usage: The user can teleport user rank burst range once per thread provided there are enough shadows to cover at least to their knees. They can also, by touching someone’s skin, cause a person to lose their sense of balance, invert colors a person sees, make everything bright and create after shadows whenever they turn their head to fast. The general effect makes it hard for the person to see and walk. This effect lasts 2 posts. This ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPCs or event NPCs.

    ~Justice: The demons of Justice were sometimes called angels. They policed the other demonic clans more than they preyed upon the other races. More often than not they were called upon to mediate the disputes between opposing parties. The majority of their abilities and why they were called Justice demons were related to their eyes. Many of them were blinded when foes attacked. Thus many Justice demons wore cloth over their eyes, either to hide that they’d already lost them or to hide that they still had them. They passed on the power of their eyes to those with this lineage. The user of this lineage need merely look at someone while they’re talking to discern a lie when it is told. Their eyes also hold the power of law, truth and penance, not to mention the darker side of justice, Vengeance. The user can induce someone to tell the truth, though it doesn’t work well against other mages, simply by looking deep into the other person’s eyes. In a similar fashion, the user can bind one opponent to a specific Law or paralyze them. In extreme cases, the user can force their body to become the embodiment of vengeance, losing their eyesight for a time and guided only by their sense of ‘justice’
    Usage: While in combat, the user must look into an opponent’s eyes to enact one of two effects. The first paralyzes the opponent for 1 post. This ability has a range and speed equal to user ranked single target spells. The second forces them to adhere to a simple ‘Law’ for a single post. This Law cannot be something like ‘You cannot breathe’. It must be a cause and effect such as ‘If you jump, you cannot breathe’. Obviously if the cause doesn’t happen, the Law doesn’t come into effect. This ability requires OOC permission to be used on players, player-owned NPCs or event NPCs. Adversely, the user can turn the power of their eyes on themselves. They create a law that causes them to transform for 2 posts. Their eyes turn black and they gain a thermal vision that shows only those that have wronged another plus a blurry grey outline of their surroundings. It must have been a deliberate wrong and not accidental. This requires OOC permission. Against these opponents/people only, the user gains a 25% increase to speed and strength. Their body may undertake a few changes when using this ability that have no effect on combat such as change in skin or visage. Generally, these changes are only meant to make the user seem more terrifying to those they are smiting with vengeance.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Nero
    Nero

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Main Account- Mythical VIP Status- Demon VIP Status- God VIP Status- Dragon VIP Status- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Mythical- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishval- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- Custom Slayer- God Slayer- Demon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- Neutral Guild Ace- Z-Rank- Y-Rank- X-Rank- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Wanderer- Eevee- EXP Grinder- Jewel Grinder- Job Creator- Working Together- Forever Solo- Christian Minecraft Server- I Have Friends...- Teaming Up!- Limited Edition- Idolize- Unknown Powerhouse- Unknown Legend- The Completionist- Guild Creator- Achiever- Expert Achiever- Buddy Buddy- Obligatory Beach Episode- Shipped- Sticking Around- Loyal to the Bone- Dank Memer- Fan Artist- Taskmaster- Halloween gfx'ers- Halloween Social- Halloween job event participant - Fan Art Contest Participant- Haiku Contest Participant- Lineage Making Contest Participant- Richie Rich- Rich- Veteran Level 6- Veteran Level 5- Veteran Level 4- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character Application Approved!- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Tertiary Magic- Supreme Grand Master [5000]- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- 3rd Place Event/Contest Winner- Christmas Event Winner- X-Mas Event Participant- Advertisement Achievement Badge- Tournament Participation Badge- Cookie Achievement- Cupcake Achievement- Rainbow Hero- Summer Special Tier 4- Summer Special Tier 3- Summer Special Tier 2- Summer Special Tier 1- Summer Special Donor- Summer Special Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player-
    Lineage : Assassin's Shadow
    Position : None
    Posts : 10668
    Guild : Rune Knights
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 24
    Experience : 3,108,432
    Brownie Points : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    Character Sheet
    First Magic:
    Second Magic:
    Third Magic:

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Nero 3rd March 2020, 12:41 pm

    Heya Key, Joh here to grade your lineage again. You know how this goes by now, all of my edits can be found in this color. As an overarching comment, you are currently using 12 effects in this lineage, while the maximum number of effects you are limited to is 10 without the use of any downsides, meaning I must ask you to remove at least 2 effects from this lineage. To make that easier for you, I labeled all of your abilities with the associated effect count.

    Spoiler:

    @Kyran wrote:Lineage Name: Inner Presence
    Wielder: Kyran Dyer
    Purchase Proof: General Store: Page 9, Post n°222

    Lore:
    On another plane, not much different from Earthland, five demonic tribes evolved over time. They evolved quickly due to warfare. Multiple demon tribes existed at one time but each was wiped out until only these five remained: Violence, Challenge, Justice (truly Vengeance), Mischief and Lust. These five battled until their plane was destroyed. The plane began to fracture from their constant fighting. Yet none could gain the leverage needed to overcome the others. One day, a rift to Earthland opened up. For a moment, there was a pause. Several demons from every tribe managed to slip through before the fighting resumed.
    Those that slipped through had different approaches to their invasion. Some spread wanton destruction. Others manipulated humans to self-destruction. Even others spread about their 'influence', creating mixed-breed offspring with the species of Earthland. Every demon was hunted down by high ranking mages. As the mages hunted them down, some of the demons slipped back through the rift. This allowed the mages to find and seal the rift, isolated the final invaders.
    Those left with no way to return to their home plane came together. They decided to combine their respective abilities. Using some of the humans that had been manipulated, the demons poured part of their essence into them. Only one was blessed with the essence of all five. The demons prepared for their demise. Each human blessed was instructed to create a bloodline. A legacy that would carry their power down through the ages. That way, when the rift opened again, their power would come forth once more. A demon army would be birthed to overtake Earthland. Their revenge against the mages and conquering of this plane would be complete.
    Unfortunately for the demons, things didn't work quite as they planned. Some of the bloodlines died out. Others randomly manifested their power, leading to those individuals being wiped out. The humans that the demons 'blessed' faded into obscurity. Their descendants are constantly plagued by this 'blessing'. This unfortunate individual is one such being that manifested the demons' blessings.

    Abilities:

    ~Authority of Justice: (2 Effects)
    The angel within Kyran gives him not only a stronger sense of justice but the tools he would need to fulfill such feats. This ability allows Kyran to not only have an additional piece of equipment but allow it a third ability at the rank lower. This ability can not be advanced and like any piece of equipment must be bought and graded as any other piece would be. (This ability is not really clear at all, meaning I must ask you to clarify a few things. Firstly, if I understand this right this ability gives you an additional equipment slot besides your regular equipment, which is fine, though you must specify what type of equipment this slot is used for, i.e. Weapon, Armor, or Item. Secondly, a "third ability at a rank lower" could mean a large variety of things, meaning this should be explained in detail. How does this ability behave in correlation with the other abilities of the associated piece of equipment?)

    ~Shades of Mischief: (3 Effects)
    Kyran has many demons with him, each with their own distinct personalities, one of these demons is mischievous and like to play tricks especially when bored. Every trickster needs a partner in crime or so they say, Kyran just happens to be the partner in crime on this occasion. This ability allows Kyran to gain a 75% increase to his spell speed and spell range. (Please specify whether this increase is passive or active, and if active, a duration, speed, and range)

    ~Pleasurable Desires: (2 Effects)
    As stated before those that call Kyran home all have distinct personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and likes. One of those demons has nothing more than what is pleasurable to them on their minds and how to get those shiny things that would help them get what they want. This ability allows Kyran two more signature spells for one of his magic's which cap at S rank, he also is able to renegotiate for double the pay on any job that he does, this does not apply to any events unless the event itself allows for jewel bonuses to be added. (Events cannot benefit from jewel increases in any way, meaning I must ask you to remove this part from this ability entirely)

    ~Demonic Ire: (3 Effects)
    Kyran like any other being is known to give in to his anger but when he does it generally comes out with devastating fallout. This ability gives Kyran not only a 100% increase to any offensive spell or ability that he uses (This wording is unclear. What do you mean by increase to offensive ability? If this is a passive spell damage buff, please word it as such) but allows the first offensive attack that he does each round to gain the piercing effect even if the spell itself does not state it. The spell or ability will at that point also have to follow the piercing effect rules. (Please specify that this effect can only apply to spells or abilities of S rank or lower, since lineage abilities, in general, are capped at S rank max without the use of more effects)

    ~Surpassing Challenge: (2 Effects)
    Thanks to one of those inside Kyran he is known to be terribly stubborn when it comes to challenges and refuses to let up even when he and his body know they should. This ability allows Kyran's magic pool to overflow what it normally should be by user rank allowed buff (capping at S) (The wording on this increase is not clear. If this is an increase to MP please word it as such. Please also clarify that the increase is passive) but gives him a 30% damage reduction to incoming damage from physical sources (If this buff is passive, please also clarify accordingly).


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Kyran
    Kyran

    Main Account- Get Married- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- A-Rank- Wanderer- Working Together- Forever Solo- Christian Minecraft Server- Teaming Up!- Unknown Powerhouse- Achiever- Obligatory Beach Episode- Shipped- Sticking Around- Character Application Approved!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Player 
    Lineage : Inner Presence
    Position : None
    Partner : Gaia
    Posts : 614
    Guild : Meliora Vitae
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sol
    Experience : 1,126,081

    Character Sheet
    First Magic: Mystic Blood Beasts
    Second Magic: Flame God Slayer 2nd Gen
    Third Magic: Sky Demon Slayer 2nd Gen

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Kyran 3rd March 2020, 4:25 pm

    Bump

    Reconfigured Authority of Justice
    Fixed amounts and added passive clarification to abilities requested
    Hopefully, cleared up any confusing wording ^^


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Nero
    Nero

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Main Account- Mythical VIP Status- Demon VIP Status- God VIP Status- Dragon VIP Status- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Mythical- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- God Of Ishval- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- Custom Slayer- God Slayer- Demon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- Neutral Guild Ace- Z-Rank- Y-Rank- X-Rank- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Wanderer- Eevee- EXP Grinder- Jewel Grinder- Job Creator- Working Together- Forever Solo- Christian Minecraft Server- I Have Friends...- Teaming Up!- Limited Edition- Idolize- Unknown Powerhouse- Unknown Legend- The Completionist- Guild Creator- Achiever- Expert Achiever- Buddy Buddy- Obligatory Beach Episode- Shipped- Sticking Around- Loyal to the Bone- Dank Memer- Fan Artist- Taskmaster- Halloween gfx'ers- Halloween Social- Halloween job event participant - Fan Art Contest Participant- Haiku Contest Participant- Lineage Making Contest Participant- Richie Rich- Rich- Veteran Level 6- Veteran Level 5- Veteran Level 4- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character Application Approved!- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Tertiary Magic- Supreme Grand Master [5000]- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- 3rd Place Event/Contest Winner- Christmas Event Winner- X-Mas Event Participant- Advertisement Achievement Badge- Tournament Participation Badge- Cookie Achievement- Cupcake Achievement- Rainbow Hero- Summer Special Tier 4- Summer Special Tier 3- Summer Special Tier 2- Summer Special Tier 1- Summer Special Donor- Summer Special Participant- 1 Year Anniversary- Player-
    Lineage : Assassin's Shadow
    Position : None
    Posts : 10668
    Guild : Rune Knights
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 24
    Experience : 3,108,432
    Brownie Points : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    Character Sheet
    First Magic:
    Second Magic:
    Third Magic:

    Inner Presence Empty Re: Inner Presence

    Post by Nero 4th March 2020, 3:49 pm

    Inner Presence OHDD1mB

    Spoiler:
    @Kyran wrote:Lineage Name: Inner Presence
    Wielder: Kyran Dyer
    Purchase Proof: General Store: Page 9, Post n°222

    Lore:
    On another plane, not much different from Earthland, five demonic tribes evolved over time. They evolved quickly due to warfare. Multiple demon tribes existed at one time but each was wiped out until only these five remained: Violence, Challenge, Justice (truly Vengeance), Mischief and Lust. These five battled until their plane was destroyed. The plane began to fracture from their constant fighting. Yet none could gain the leverage needed to overcome the others. One day, a rift to Earthland opened up. For a moment, there was a pause. Several demons from every tribe managed to slip through before the fighting resumed.
    Those that slipped through had different approaches to their invasion. Some spread wanton destruction. Others manipulated humans to self-destruction. Even others spread about their 'influence', creating mixed-breed offspring with the species of Earthland. Every demon was hunted down by high ranking mages. As the mages hunted them down, some of the demons slipped back through the rift. This allowed the mages to find and seal the rift, isolated the final invaders.
    Those left with no way to return to their home plane came together. They decided to combine their respective abilities. Using some of the humans that had been manipulated, the demons poured part of their essence into them. Only one was blessed with the essence of all five. The demons prepared for their demise. Each human blessed was instructed to create a bloodline. A legacy that would carry their power down through the ages. That way, when the rift opened again, their power would come forth once more. A demon army would be birthed to overtake Earthland. Their revenge against the mages and conquering of this plane would be complete.
    Unfortunately for the demons, things didn't work quite as they planned. Some of the bloodlines died out. Others randomly manifested their power, leading to those individuals being wiped out. The humans that the demons 'blessed' faded into obscurity. Their descendants are constantly plagued by this 'blessing'. This unfortunate individual is one such being that manifested the demons' blessings.

    Abilities:

    ~Authority of Justice:
    The angel within Kyran gives him not only a stronger sense of justice but the ability to dispense it where he needs to. This ability allows Kyran to, once per post, negate a spell within 120 meters of S rank or lower at the cost of the spell's original MP. His MP is passively increased by 60% to better achieve this.

    ~Shades of Mischief:
    Kyran has many demons with him, each with their own distinct personalities, one of these demons is mischievous and likes to play tricks especially when bored. Every trickster needs a partner in crime or so they say, Kyran just happens to be the partner in crime on this occasion. This ability allows Kyran to gain a 60% passive increase to his spell speed and spell range.

    ~Pleasurable Desires:
    As stated before those that call Kyran home all have distinct personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and likes. One of those demons has nothing more than what is pleasurable to them on their minds and how to get those shiny things that would help them get what they want. This ability allows Kyran the ability to renegotiate for double the pay on any job that he does. it also passively increases his HP by 30%.

    ~Demonic Ire:
    Kyran like any other being is known to give in to his anger but when he does it generally comes out with devastating fallout. This ability gives Kyran not only a passive 60% increase to any spell damage but allows the first offensive attack that he does each round to gain the piercing effect even if the spell itself does not state it. The spell will at that point also have to follow the piercing effect rules and may only affect spells of S rank or lower.

    ~Surpassing Challenge:
    Thanks to one of those inside Kyran he is known to be terribly stubborn when it comes to challenges and refuses to let up even when he and his body know they should. This ability allows Kyran's magic pool to increase by user rank passive buff (capping at S) but gives him a passive 30% damage reduction to incoming damage from physical sources.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________


      Current date/time is 5th December 2021, 3:29 pm