The day started wrong and seemed to continue on that way. He had accidentally pierced his bed after waking up and had to fix that, tore clothes while undressing to shower and had to mend that. Even in the shower it suddenly felt like it was a mission on itself to not slip and cut himself. It was a strange thing to have to think about and focus so hard on, but he knew why it was happening. It wasn't waking up on the wrong side of the bed, that doesn't cause you to suddenly become ungodly clumsy with a physical trait you were born with. What caused it was the same force that had started building in him for awhile now. It started with a job that seemed so simple, until in that dark world he was forced to realize that the side that he had been thinking with this entire time, the rational logical mind? It wasn't both sides of him, but the dragon half. Even during all those years he had missed almost half of his soul, all the missing pieces being ice dragon, even during those years it was dominate... His demon side really was relentlessly violent. The side he had always felt jaded on was the side in control. Even worse? He had briefly let out his animal form while affected by the dark magic during the time of no light. Why was that so bad? He did nothing bad with it, also he knew that whatever stupidity he pulled that night was caused by that magic... but he was only affected in the first place because of the inner conflict happening now.
Fire had taught him how to have a strong mind and heart, so that magic shouldn't have even affected him that way to begin with. Why did it? Because of the weakness inner conflict creates. What good was mental training if you fuck yourself up? The worst part, its was so obvious in that animal form that his dragon form was dominant even in that area. It was to the point that it felt almost like his ice dragon side had taken his demon half and made it it's bitch. The memories of being stupid and shameful wont go away, nor will the memories of moving in that form. It was the same one he had bitten down and back for thousands of years. Now his emotions were such a mess that he couldn't focus enough to not screw up with one of his most basic of physical traits. It was when he burned himself while making breakfast that he decided to call in to the hospital today so they would know he wouldn't be able to work today. Even with the most basic of things in a hospital you have to be able o touch things or people without the risk of breaking it from your own inner nonsense. The rice ended up coming out off, as did all the other breakfast items. Nothing else was right this morning, why would food be any different? Eating and cleaning up went as well as everything else. In the end, he left his small home area in the guild feeling just as much of an entangled mess. So he started on a walk to try to figure out what to do and how to solve this problem.
Most people would think that the best solution would be to confront the core of the issue. Deep down, Omaras knew that was the answer. This was a topic he didn't want to talk about though, nor think about. It was the same reason why the young looking man used to hurt himself and hide his wings. But doing that had kept his elemental family from connecting to him to their full ability, because he had been ignoring their worries and concerns for him. At one point it was so intense that for many years the mixed blood hadn't even realized that he had a tail. A large, useful, and powerful tail. The doctor knew this wasn't healthy, but how could he just accept that side? Why would he want to confront it? The answer was that he didn't want to. But doing that had started to mess with how well he could do missions, and now it was messing with his ability to do the very job he had dreamed about doing as far back as the man could recall. "Fuck!" Swearing wasn't something he really did, something he soon started to realize that quite a few nearby merchants knew very well. A bunch of concerned people wasn't something he needed, not now! They might ask things, and Haraka wanted no questions asked. The half demon quickly rushed from the merchant area he had ended up wondering to, mainly aiming to get far from the guilds main building as soon as possible. Away from there, away from the docks, and away from worried faces.
He didn't stop until only trees were in his sights, not that he was in any condition to notice everything. The man put both hands over his eyes and face, shame washing over them in the worst sort of way. It was a horrible feeling. "I'm such a horrible damned mess..."